Is this a sign he has lost interest? Or is he trying to get more comfortable around me?

[Anonymous]

There was a guy who went from constantly smiling around me, intensely staring and being really fidgety and awkward, to avoiding eye contact with me intentionally within a span of 3 months

I was then hurt and might have shown that I’m nonchalant and just look at me with my poker face and not acknowledging him since he clearly was avoiding eye contact and pretending to not see me

he caught me offguard by giving me a smile earlier when we locked eyes. I looked up saw him and stared through him but he suddenly gave a small genuine smile. Is he trying to be comfortable around me or has he lost all interest?

this change of behavior happened in a day..

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, chicks can be so confusing sometimes! With this one it's tough to say for sure what's up with the change in behavior.

My best guess is he's just trying to figure his feelings out still. Going from super awkward and into you, to avoiding eye contact - sounds like he got nervous or self-conscious about how much he was into you. Maybe people were giving him crap about it or something.

But the fact that he smiled when you locked eyes is a good sign I think. Even if it was just a little smile, that's still showing interest after pretending not to notice you before. Sounds like he's trying to loosen up and be more comfortable again now that some time has passed.

I'd say play it cool for now - don't make a big deal of it either way. Smile back friendly next time so he knows you're open but not pressed. And see if he starts to warm up more over the next little while. Guys can be wishy-washy sometimes with this stuff. As long as he's not blatantly ignoring you now, I wouldn't say he's totally lost interest yet. Just give it some time to develop naturally. Hope this helps!

[Asker]

Soo his interest wavered from super high to not as high? That was just 2 weeks ago LOL

Thanks for this insight by the way - very helpful gleaning his insight!

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome and yeah, sounds like his interest kind of yo-yo'd there for a bit! With guys sometimes feelings can change super quickly until they really figure things out. It's definitely possible he was really into you at first, then maybe overthought it or got shy, and now is starting to come back around again as he gets more comfortable. Two weeks is a short time too - emotions and crushes don't always make total sense right away. I'd say play it cool like I said, but don't write the dude off yet if he's making more of an effort now. Keep seeing how it goes with the friendly smiling and stuff. Feel it out without putting too much pressure on it. Guys can be fickle, but we usually come around if we really like a girl! Just don't make it too easy for him, play a little hard to get. He'll have to work for it a bit if he's really interested again.

[Asker]

Thanks for this! Overthought it how? This has been going on for 5 months now - he used to be really awkward around me to the point where he’d just either stare or fidget nervously. He’d try and get in my proximity and look like a deer caught in headlights when we lock eyes.

In the last 6 weeks or so, he’d look at me from the corner of his eye (he might think it’s subtle but it’s very obvious to me) , linger around me when he sees me talking with someone else to listen on my conversation, blatantly avoid eye contact when I pass him, situate himself in my line of vision to make me notice him. The small smile also happened within these few weeks

This isn’t a sign of loss of interest right?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, this has been going on for 5 whole months? Man, he must really have it bad for you haha.

I don't think it's a sign of loss of interest at all from what you're describing. If anything, it sounds like he's interested but just really awkward and nervous about it. I can understand why - it probably makes him super anxious to be around a cute girl he likes.

A few things that make it seem like his interest is still there:

- Lingering around to listen when you're talking to others is a sure sign he wants to be near you.

- Looking at you from the corner of his eye - he thinks it's subtle but c'mon, he's totally checking you out!

- Smiling when you make eye contact is him feeling bashful but still happy to see you.

Yeah, avoiding full eye contact is probably just him being shy. I'd say at this point he likes what he sees but doesn't know how to properly show it without getting tongue tied.

My advice would be, next time you catch him peeking at you, throw the guy a bone and smile back. See if that gets him to loosen up a little. No way he's losing interest after 5 months of pining! He's just real nervous. Keep being your cool self, and I bet he'll keep working up the courage to say more over time.

[Asker]

This this this! My gut tells me it’s this too but my brain has a way of second guessing itself. I’ll heed your advice and am hopeful for the new year.

Also is it possible for this intensity to just purely be lust? Or is there something more?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, it's easy to overthink stuff and second guess yourself. Just gotta trust what your gut is telling you sometimes.

As for whether it's just lust or something more, it's hard to say for sure with this dude since he acts so strange around you. Lust can certainly make a guy act super awkward and intense like that. But it's lasted for 5 months now, so there's a chance there could be feelings developing too.

I'd say just keep an open mind either way for now. Give him the chance to show you what he's really about once he gets more comfortable. Some guys confuse lust and feelings at first until they get to know someone better.

And don't discount the possibility of something more just cause he acts weird! He may surprise you. Keep listening to your gut, play it cool, see how things progress in the new year. You never know what could happen if you give it time. Don't wanna rule anything out prematurely. Just roll with it and see where it leads, right?

Hope this helps give you a different perspective! Let me know if anything else happens with this dude.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot! Have a merry Christmas and lovely holiday season 💫

[Oliverlogan263]

My pleasure gorgeous 🌹🌹 you have a merry Christmas yourself luv ❤️❤️ you too thank you

[Asker]

Hello I hope you had a good start to the new year! Quick question - is it really unlikely for the attraction to fade now if it’s as how I’ve described it to you for the past 6 months?

It felt rather intense last year and right now after coming back from a 3-week break, could it have cooled / faded?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey, welcome back! Hope you had a good holiday break too and Happy New Years.

As for the attraction fading now after 6 months of it being intense, I think it's possible but not that likely based on everything you described before. Usually when a guy is super shy and awkward around a girl for that long, it means he's really into her on more than just a physical level.

I'd say there's a much better chance his feelings are still there compared to having faded already. A three week break over the holidays probably isn't enough time for such strong feelings to totally disappear.

Guys can be a bit fickle sometimes, so maybe he's acting a little cooler now trying to play it cool instead of freaking out. Or it's possible the awkwardness has lessened just cause he's more used to being around you.

I'd give it a bit more time to see how he acts when things get back to normal. If he still seeks you out and seems shy, there's a good bet he still likes you. But if he totally ignores you now, then maybe his interest waned over the break. Try not to worry too much though - I'd say odds are good it hasn't faded out just yet!

[Asker]

Thank you Oliver (if that’s your first name)!

It’s so hard not to overthink it. I’m a lot more calm about this situation over the 3-month / this year and it’s not giving me that many anxious thoughts. I hope this is a good sign that whatever is meant to be will be

I just haven’t had a chance to interact with him / see him around since being back and it made me overthink a bit. But we

I’m positive that 2024 will manifest the way I want it to if I listen to myself - you can’t screw up what is yours and you cannot fix what is not yours!!

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome mama and it’s my name and maybe it’s not 😌

Don't even worry about it so much. Guys can be so oblivious sometimes, he's probably just as nervous around you too.

I'm sure if you give it a little more time once you're both back, things will go back to normal between you two. If he's been acting that way for 6 months, his feelings aren't gonna change overnight. He clearly really likes you.

Just play it cool for now since you haven't had a chance to see him. Do your own thing and have fun hanging with your friends too. The less you stress about it, the more relaxed you'll be around him when you do see each other again.

Maybe try smiling and waving if you spot him, so he knows there's no pressure. And who knows, once he's comfortable, he might finally ask you out! I have a good feeling 2024 is your year. Stay positive - I'm sure it'll all work out the way it's meant to.

[Asker]

Hellooo - thank you for this! Taking this to messaging instead as I think I may have been too hasty? 😝🫠

[Asker]

Ahh realise I can’t message you unless you follow back!

[Oliverlogan263]

Hi - Haha my pleasure and mmm too hasty right on… oh okay what’s your name so I can follow you boo

[Asker]

Ahhhh i just realised I’m anon.. it’s lalalala123456

[Asker]

Thank you!!

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay mama I got it. I’m gonna follow you watch for me

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome luv

[bededazzle]

it's pretty hard to tell from the body language. have you talked together much?

[jimmy2]

Be careful sounds like he can be dangerous

[Asker]

Thanks for this! Why would you say he could be dangerous?

[jimmy2]

He said he lost interest in you

[Asker]

Ah no he didn’t say it- I was just wondering if he did. But doesn’t matter I suppose. Nothing I can do about this anymore..