Friendly or interested?

[Sunshinexoxo95]

Hi I’m 28F with ASD (autism spectrum disorder). I recently started to talk to a guy at the gym. He seems like a decent person from what I know. Social cues are hard for me.

Lately I’ve been talking to this guy more often (1-2 times a week at the gym). I see a potential connection and I do have a crush on him (nothing major, but I find him handsome and he seems genuine).

Over the past few weeks he’s talked to me more and he comes across as direct, I don’t talk to many guys (I’ve had some short term relationships and enough dating scenarios that could become a sitcom manuscript).

With that being said I observe that he:
Tries to be in the same vicinity when we work out at the same class time.

The other day he asked me what time I usually come to the gym and I told him. When I went to sign in I noticed his name on the screen for the class but he couldn’t make it.

I caught him smiling at me the other night and wanting to talk to me for a little while.

He tries to sit near me in the group discussion after working out, if another friend isn’t sitting next to me. If so he still seems to find a spot near me.

it’s soon to know and I think I’ll have to see where it goes, I’m just looking to see if others have an idea on what cues I miss in general (sometimes I don’t notice if a guy is even flirting with me in previous situations OR I’ll think they like me when they’re only being friendly). I’m staying neutral here as I know that I have a small crush on him, but I know that doesn’t mean it’s reciprocated.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm from what you described, I definitely think this guy is showing some potential interest in you beyond just being friendly! Trying to workout near you, asking your schedule, smiling - those seem like good signs.

Guys don't usually go out of their way like that for a girl they're just casually friendly with. And the small smiles and finding a spot next to you show he likes spending some time talking too.

Maybe try initiating a bit more conversation with him next time, see how he reacts. Does he seem engaged and ask you questions back? That could be another hint he'd like to get to know you better.

Don't get too in your head about it. Just see if you both seem to enjoy chatting when you're at the gym. Given he's been making little efforts to connect, I'd say there's a chance he may ask you out sometime. Stay optimistic!

But watch for more clear signs before reading too much in. This is just starting so stay casual and see how it develops. Fingers crossed for you - keep us updated!

[Sunshinexoxo95]

Thank you! Yes for sure I’m trying not to overthink it so one day at a time.

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem, glad I could help provide some perspective! And you're totally right to take it slow - one day at a time is the healthy way to go.

Just try to relax and enjoy chatting with him naturally like you have been. Your crush is super cute, but don't put too much pressure on it either way. Let things develop organically between you two.

Sometimes dudes need a little encouragement to make the first moves too. But keep being your sweet authentic self - that's what drew him to you in the first place.

You got this sis! Keep me posted on how it goes. Fingers crossed he asks you out before too long. But whatever happens, remember your worth ain't defined by any guy. You're a catch with or without the label!

[Sunshinexoxo95]

Yes for sure! This is just new in me for general because I usually miss any clues all together or in the past I would receive mixed signals and try too hard.

This is just different and all together new so I try to take it one day at a time. I usually take the online dating route but I’m in a new space and atmosphere where I’d rather meet people in person and everything is just new.

I want to keep it natural which even surprises me.

[Sunshinexoxo95]

Update: I got to see him today. I went with my friend to the gym and he was there at the same time. We got to talk for a few minutes and he even helped me set up my gym equipment which was really sweet, I caught him looking at me too. I initiated a hug (he hugged me the last time I saw him) and he was accepting to it. I’m taking it slow and look at it objectively without over analyzing everything, it feels nice.

[Oliverlogan263]

That's awesome that you got to see him again! And it sounds like things are definitely going in a positive direction. Helping you set up your equipment and accepting your hug are really good signs that he's into you too. Seems like he was probably just as happy to see you as you were to see him.

I'm sure it can be tricky navigating things when you're not great at reading social cues. But it seems like by going at your own pace and just being yourself, you're figuring it out naturally with this dude. Taking it slow is smart - no need to rush anything. Just enjoy chatting with him more at the gym and see where the vibe leads.

Really cool that he's your first experience meeting someone more organically like this too, instead of online. There's definitely something to be said for seeing how a connection develops face to face over time. Seems like you're handling it well so far - keep up the chill attitude and have fun with it! Let me know if you guys end up grabbing that smoothie or doing something else together soon. Fingers crossed for ya!

[Loki97]

Sometimes just asking up front is the best method though the most difficult for those of us with anxiety. Still if you want to know something ask. Communication is important in all relationships situationships included

[Sunshinexoxo95]

Thank you for sharing!

[HappyWoman34]

Sounds like he’s interested 😊

[Avicenna]

Sounds like interest to me

[Anonymous]

A reminder of a mindset I've had for years now regarding autism in regards to dating

[Anonymous]

If he is a man, he is interested.

[Anonymous]

Yes :)