How to differentiate between a genuine guy and a guy who is just a player?

[Simslover92]

While I am going to stick by myself for now, military guy messaged me and said he's looking for a wife but at the same time is looking for someone to sleep with.

I'm not falling for that again especially after what happened with the other guy. But apart of me, the hopeless romantic part of me wants to believe he wants more than that.

But I ultimately told him that I'm not going to deal with anyone right now. But he said he read my letters more than once making me think that maybe he genuinely may want something serious with me.

Leaving me sort of confused. I know I need to leave it alone and just focus on myself but there's apart of me that wants to see what he may be about. If he's different than the other guy. But I'm going to stick to being alone for now. It's the best thing for me right now ultimately after what happened.

[exitseven]

Okay- it all comes down to how they behave if they are like this."
"He said something to the effect of you don't have to but I am pretty much hard or your boobs is right there and I just want to grab them but I'm trying to resist." He does not respect you and probably has a few screws loose. This other guy is a jerk too. He tells you up front that he is looking for somebody to have sex with. Dump them both.

[Simslover92]

Right thanks. I will.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[Simslover92]

You're welcome!

[Joshydavid25]

Easy, just tell a guy you want to sleep on the first few dates, and like to take things slow and see how they respond.. If they stick around and get to know you without bringing sex up too much they are genuine.. Just see how much and how fast he brings sex up or is too charismatic and flirtatious for his own good..

[Joshydavid25]

After the first few dates**..

Thank you for MHO! 😊..

[lightbulb27]

if you state some rules a genuine guy will oblige, respect you, give time and effort.

[ohsheeT]

Anyone out there including myself we are looking for someone to share our lives with ..

I'm probably more of a hopeless romantic than anyone . Then add to it i feel people energy and emotion there words there's eyes the tone of there voice. There passion
There everything
There moment in time. Every single one of us can do this

But depending how we were raised. How we raised ourselves what we have been through in life

Some of us can just feel energy better.

We also know right from wrong. Good from bad. We can look ahead and under stand why a person is going through what there going through what are the reason he would want to be with someone.. anyone right now in time
And same goes for you
There is a reason for every thing in life and before we jump in so anything we look for answers. But we look for truth
He is going to use his booot camp going to war his I might not live come tomorrow if we go to war he has probably never had a girlfriend before

You want love passion you want to lay next to someone feel there energy slowly softly wrap around every inch of you and become that moment you want to feel the take over of your soul your spirit your heart so deep and understand to a point and then you want them to prove themselves to you by just taking you rocking your world inside and out you want that moment so bad you can taste it you crave it

We are all players to a point him you me 98% of gag

Look for me coming to gag answering or asking. Questions is to grow to experience life

The best way possible to be better in other people's lives the best way possible. The world is changing in the moment. Things are going to get so crazy but beautiful. If we let them and we are going to do that, all truths are going to start coming out. Real love will start happening

So I'\nM going to be one hundred percent honest , I should not be , but i'm going to be

Ninety eight percent of guys on here would love to get in your pants , you can feel your energy , they can feel how good our romantic passionate , you would be , how deep of a lover you would be
You would probab.\nLy be the most incredible lover, but would you be long-term?\nCould you hold it together

To remember, just because we want something in life doesn't mean that we get it. Of course, we could, if we really, truly wanted it, but it last would be, for all the right reasons that's what you have to do. You have to weigh it out
I'm hornier that fuck I have build up like you would not believe I could go get laid right i could go out and find some one would satisfy every one of my feelings , emotions , my thoughts my needs right now

But is it the person that I want to be with? I doubt otherwise I would be with them. Already. You have to be patient, you will know exactly when the right person comes into your life without fantasizing. Without thinking about it, you will just know it.

I apologize if I said anything bad LOL in here because I'm pretty sure I might have but understand it's to help you. It's not to take from you

[BullShark]

Alright, this may piss off a lot of ladies who may not agree with me, but the easiest way to differentiate between a player and someone that genuinely likes you and wants you, is from one very simple detail;

We've all heard how women go for the bad boys and the nice guys always finish last? How most women will shoot down a guy who puts in the time, goes the extra mile to be sweet, does everything he thinks his woman will like, only to get dumped and/or cheated on? It's mostly those guys who are actually genuine, all things considered. Keyword; MOSTLY. Don't be coming at me in the comments saying "but guys who do all that still end up cheating/dumping too" yeah well, maybe you didn't spend enough time with him to see if he was just doing all those things for you, or if he's just a good person overall, because some may still fake it till they make it.

So then what's a player? To put it simply, the worst kinda man possible which a lotta young and naive women fall for over just because he gives them a thrill and a challenge. You can't "fix him" sis. His own mother couldn't fix him. Let that sink in.

[CherryLove007]

Yes girl stick to your guns now. Looks like you are setting your standards now. Attention, validation and lust is not love and it is fleeting. There is so much confusion.

A genuine guy will not want to roll around in the bed with you immediately or pressure you. His intentions will be to invest in you and not love bomb you. He will keep compliments coming over and over without any meaningful interactions.

If you are feeling low self esteem then you will not have control of your emotions. Women with high self esteem love themselves more and they will have high standards.

A genuine man will never rush you into bed if he plans to have you around for a long time because he can get it as many times as he wants ( maybe, hopefully) after he has proved his honor to you.🍒

[CherryLove007]

edit... A player will keep the compliments coming over and over without any meaningful interactions.

[Simslover92]

Right. Thank you. I am definitely sticking to my guns and staying by myself for a while. We can be friends but nothing more than that. If that makes him pull back then oh well.

[dudeinohio]

I've slept with most of my girlfriends on or before the third date. All of these situations resulted in a relationship. I'm VERY relationship-oriented. So, not all guys who sleep with women early are players.

Who knows. I may be the only exception to the rule; but I don't think so.

I suppose I'm saying this to say it's extremely confusing to sort through people.

[MrChinaski]

@dudeinohio Not the only exception. Me too.

[JesseP1nk]

Yeah it might work. But it also might look (not saying you do that) you just put him in friendzone and using him for dinners and fuck other guys while you make him wait.

[sage2021]

I think that if you go out on a real date with a guy, and at the end of the date he doesn't even try anything sexual with you.
He may come in and stay for a little while and then go home. He should call you within the next few days.

But a player makes you feel like you're being conned, and uneasy. They'll probably compliment you because they think that you'll give in.

Just compare these two examples. The first one, sex didn't even enter the picture.

The second example is that's all he talks about. Blah blah blah blah blah...

[Simslover92]

Thanks sis. I will keep those two examples in mind for the future when I start wanting to date again.

[NathanDavis]

I think the best strategy is... give yourself time, and not only time but also chance to actually get to know someone

perhaps a minimum of three months, before you even start to consider if someone is for real... and I am talking about THREE MONTHS time... not one or two dates in three months

that's why I never date online... I never date someone who lives at a different state and I NEVER EVER go out with someone who is not willing to meet me every single day... now, they don't really need to meet every day no, but if we wanted to, we would be able to do it

that's how you actually get to know someone for real, by meeting for real...

but if you just rush and get ahead on the first or second time you see them in person then yeah, you will get played almost every single time and even if they don't play or mess with you, you still find out that they're not really what you wanted or hoped for

and that's just a losing "game"

[lilBigPotato]

Many players are very obvious and easy to spot. "Military guy" is already testing the waters. Throws in a lot of compliments and magic words like wife to get your interest, but also lets you know at the same time that he's looking for fun. Swipe left, next one. Waste of time.

The problem are players who actually use their brain and who are good with words. You'll only find out their true intentions after some time, either when they got what they wanted or when they lost interest/patience.

Learn to filter out the obvious turds and hope for good luck with everyone else. Not much else you can do about it. Going in with low expectations and learning to enjoy dates even if they didn't lead to anything meaningful helps not being too much disappointed. There's still enough time for butterflies and hopeless romantic feelings after a few successful dates.

[MemeSupreme]

giving them time to reveal themselves.

like i dont do anything sexual until we're in a relationship way later when i trust them, so that wipes out a lot of guys. also, i'll see if they genuinely care and look for redflags. like here's stuff i care about

• respects boundaries
• doesn't belittle my interests or quirks
• remembers the things about me even if its little
• invests their time bc thats what people value most
• doesn't talk about sex a lot or objectify me
• does not talk about their ex or drama a lot. i need the negativity AWAY

[dudeinohio]

I can understand someone looking for a wife; but at the same time looking for someone to sleep with. These desires aren't mutually exclusive. The guy MAY be totally okay; BUT could also totally be not okay.

It is extremely difficult to sort people out. Everyone is different and you could see several guys before finding the right one. I have no answer, unfortunately. There are just too many variables.

I agree with you taking time for yourself. You need to regroup and figure things out.

[OlderAndWiser]

"he said he read my letters more than once making me think that maybe he genuinely may want something serious with me." Or perhaps he genuinely knows what to say to take advantage of a vulnerable young lady.

If you want to know how someone feels about, watch how they treat you and don't listen to their words.

[Still-alive]

“military guy messaged me and said he's looking for a wife but at the same time is looking for someone to sleep with.”

he’s spelling it out for you right here. He just wants to be fuck buddies. Don’t fall for his ‘looking for a wife’ thing.

[Simslover92]

Thanks I won't. I already told him I'm focusing on myself right now and I plan to keep it that way.

[Finchie40]

The truth is every guy wants sex with a girl he likes, so to know whether he is playing you or not is something only you can figure out , Girls’ do this to us guys’ as well so it’s a chance we take if we really
Like someone on whether they want more than sex or not

[OneViewpoint]

Military guy is like you. Young and going through a lot of change and totally insecure about his future in the face of overwhelming uncertainty. He's clinging to you as a life preserver and your instinct is to cling to him as your life preserver.

You both need to step back. Let it go. And focus on getting your lives in order. It's part of growing into an adult. Tough choices. Deciding what your priorities are. Remembering what fucking up feels like.

[RavVid]

In both cases there is lust. There might be a little more sense of controlling ownership by the genuine guy than the player. But not much difference.

The genuine guy will be willing to put more time into it though. The player is more likely to move on quicker.

[PeachyPie93]

You can always be hopelessly romantic just don't have sex with them right away..
A guy who generally likes you proves it with actions and not words.

[Simslover92]

That's true thanks.

[MannMitAntworten]

Casual sex being so easily available allows both sexes to have an intermediary piece of ass until they happen upon someone they desire to spouse up. Not that this is a good approach to marriage and is a contributor to the climbing divorce index.


Probably should have on the guy.

[FreyaRed]

Don't jump with them instantly in the sheets and you will see how much motivation the guy will have to spend time with you if they don't get it while 10 or more dates. That's not a rocket science.

[Nikki1989]

Distinguishing between a man who is genuine and a “player” is rarely about what he says and almost always about the consistency of his actions. A player is usually charming early on before he will show his true colors.

[Xawyx-2]

Genuine guy cares, and gives you attention.

The player only wants one thing, he pretends to want a relationship, but his story is just playing with your emotions.

[Grond21]

You can be hopelessly romantic with a guy who has already proven he is worthy of it. Don't turn off your hopeless romanticism, just aim it better.

[Simslover92]

Right. Thanks.

[Grond21]

Absolutely.

To answer a little more specifically, a player will tell you what you want to hear in order to use you. A genuine man will have integrity and will not use you.

A very simple filter is to set higher standards for who you give sex to. If you make it clear there is no chance of it coming soon, many players will leave

[Simslover92]

That's true and I will definitely do that this time around.

[live2dance25]

If he’s truly genuine, he will respect your boundaries on sex and not try to push it when you’re not ready.

[TonyMetal___86]

I have told you many times miss sims to not give sex until marriage, if they stay than they are authentic!

[Shiprex]

Be completely upfront with your expectations of where and what you want to be but don't go all setting a schedule.

[msc545]

The guys who are players wear a large sticker on their forehead that says "player." That's how you differentiate.

[exitseven]

@msc545 Geez= I always thought they were talking about Monopoly.

[msc545]

@exitseven well, actually, they are, and it's very astute of you to notice that. It's what you might call a dual-purpose sticker.

[WhitneySnow]

If he’s looking for someone to sleep with, he’s not the right guy for you right now

[Fireguy17]

a genuine guy will respect your no.
A player will keep pressing.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

So basically you gave it up quickly for the fuckboy loser and are planning on making the one that wants commitment wait for what you gave in an hour to the other guy, and women wonder why guys don't want to commit to anything nowadays...

[Alex-Snow]

Players are full of themselves and stuck up and want sex asap.

[zagor]

If he's still with you after 10 years, he's probably genuine.

[heruncommonsense]

all males are players.

[Redbeardviking]

Attention and a display a care for your needs.

[snermcger]

Gold teeth.