How can I prove to my boyfriend I'm not cheating?

[Anonymous]

(long distance relation ship but I'm going to be moving where he is at the end of the year when I finish my schooling) My boyfriend thinks I'm cheating on him because I go out with my "friends" (as he says) through the day and thinks I'm cheating on him with someone else.. I've told him that I only want and love him but he doesn't believe me :/ no matter how much I try and convince him... Now he thinks I'm just a big slut and is having sex with other guys.. I'm a virgin I haven't had sex with anyone and I'm saving myself for him but again he doesn't believe that...

I just don't know what to do anymore :( and ideas how to make him believe me? cos I'm all out...

[danygirl]

First off, for a man to disrespect you and call you those awful names, doesn't seem to be too nice. And not to say anything negative, but usually when a man is accusing you of being the cheater, it's usually and most likely them doing the cheating. If he cares about you he will try to work on his insecurities for you, so the two of you will have a beautiful and promising relationship. He has to be willing to help out in the relationship though. Refuse for it to be a one-way road. You can't make people really change the way they feel, you have to help them cope with those feelings and be better at handling themselves. This lashing out at you, should be totally unaccepttable to you. I just would try telling him your having a girls night and just don't mention every single place you go. He needs to trust you, but men have to be re-assured...Jealous relationships are so freakin awful and a very hard road. Been there, but if you really love him, feel like he's worth fighting for and believe he will work it out with you. Remember, this is his issue and his problem that has nothing to do with you...Jealousy is a sickness.

[nos131]

It sound like it's more his problem then yours. There is that old thought out there that the accuser isn't the victim - you might be... he may be the one cheating. Then blaming you because he feels bad... just something to think about.

You're young and unless you guys are making plans to get married, there really is not problem going out with your friends. So, I would say at this point, if he doesn't realize your loyalty to him - you may have to walk away.

[rosebensony]

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[quovadis911]

Are you sure he's not just trying to break up with you?

If you want to prove it to him, take a lie detector test. You can find companies that will do the test for you, that way he'll know you're telling the truth. Plus if your a virgin, take him with you to the gynocologist, and have it proven to him.

Speaking from experience, if he doesn't trust you, there is really nothing that can be done, he just isn't going to trust you, some people are just like that, and it's probably because some girl screwed him over in the past, good luck.

[Asker]

it is because his ex cheated on him.. he thinks I'm going to do the same... :/

[quovadis911]

I can relate, my ex cheated on me too, and now I don't trust any woman. As long as you're not cheating, eventually he will come around, but it takes a lot of time. Maybe you should tell him, to trust you completely, or end this relationship...if you don't cheat, you're a good girl that deserves a man that trust her. (did you think about the lie detector?)

[Asker]

The lie detector is too much money.. :( plus he's all teh way in england.. he just moved tthere a few months ago and I didn't want to lose him so we kept the relationship going. I'm really not cheating on him and I never will, I've told him that heaps and I want to tell him that if he doesn't trust me we will end tthe relationship.. :( but I'm scared he will and that's something I really don't want...

[quovadis911]

Compare the cost of the lie detector, with the emotional cost of loosing him. I wish I could find a girl that doesn't cheat, your man should appreciate you more. Good luck to both of you.

[mrzmannyc]

I hate to be the one to tell you this but there is a very very strong chance that your boyfriend is cheating on you. His guilt of cheating on you is surfacing by him continuing to challenge you about your morals. His mind is solidly on cheating, because he is the cheater! Sorry.