When my girlfriend gets angry, she says stupid hurtful things, should I just leave her alone or confront her?

[Anonymous]

we've only been together for 5 months, I feel like she's worth it, when she gets angry she either goes silent or says "i don't care", "up to you to believe whatever you want" or "whatever". she seems to try to put the blame on me and plays the guilt trip. I'm 20 and she is 19. I'm the type who tries to talk things out and I think she's more of the type who just needs silence. normally she is very loving and caring but she hates to admit that she's wrong. I always have to say "do you have anything to say to me", then she would tell me that she's sorry afterwards. what should I do? any advice would be appreciated.

[ConfusedLass]

ahhhhh this is a tough one. Even though fighting can be emotional, I don't believe its fair for a person to have a "get out of jail free" card to abuse/yell/confront/name call/or be agressive towards their partner. It is a very hard lesson to learn to keep your cool during a discussion or argument but a fundamental one and one that helps you grow rather than hinder. Try talking to her about why she doesn't talk and perfers the 'silence'. Maybe her family weren't supportive and never taught her to talk. Put in place some strategies to discuss things before they get to boiling point. Good Luck!

[Asker]

Yeah thanks I agree too on the abuse and yelling part, yeah she has always been spoiled and she is even like that to her parents, her attitude has always been like that but it hasn't been as bad lately, yeah I think I should avoid being stubborn and just be the bigger man and let her win the argument. thanks for your help

[Anonymous]

Dude she's a woman what do you expect? Your not the only guy whose expericenced a woman to say mean and hurtful things to you, just tell her to shut up simple as that. Or you could be funny about it and say if you don't shut up and behave I am going to dick slap your hoe ass.

[Gizzard081]

Guys do this as well when Girls want to talk. Women are not the only people who gaslight during a disagreement. It’s a sign that she may be a narcissist. If she can’t treat you with respect and want to talk about it after everything cools off then consider breaking up

[Anonymous]

I think she truly cares about you but she isn't being fair to you!

My ex broke up with me for similar things and I kick myself all the time for doing it and now I can't do anything to fix it.

So give her an ultimatum, she can either stop acting like a kid and grow up and talk or not be with you.

And trust me its hard but if it persists it won't go away with time.

[Asker]

I think I would be lying to myself if I say it's getting better, why do girls do that silence thing?, I don't want to lose her at the moment, everything esle is fine with her, it's only when she's angry that I find it hard to cope with.

[Opinion Owner]

Idk why we do it. I did it to get him to come to me, but then we would fight more. But we are talking again and I have learned that I just need to tell him what the problem is. I thinks its cause I learned my lesson with him and I would do anything to get him back now.

[Asker]

Thats good to hear, when we argue she just goes silent and I talk about the problem and I tell her why I am wrong and stuff like that, after a while like 20 minutes or so, we talk about different things and things get back to normal, it's only if I argue back that she would go crazy on me, thanks for the answer btw.

[Opinion Owner]

No problem...

Hope all goes well!

:)