How can I start liking myself?

Question

I don't like who I am at all. I try my best to be more confident, but it is NOT working at all. I don't really like myself because:

1. I am fat, not chunky but fat. I am trying so hard to lose weight, but it is not working. I am proportioned, so I don't look fat, but people are always calling me fat, I would assume.

2. I have chocolate brown skin (I am NOT racist, but it seems that so many people hate black people for whatever reason, and the fact that black women are so undesirable I am afraid of being single forever!) and I do not fit any of the stereotypes that people think of black people!

3. I have acne, I am trying to fix that too, not working.

4. I constantly feel that I am worthless, and that I am always making people upset, I try to be nice, but people won't accept me!

5. I don't have many friends

6. I don't want to go out in public because I am afraid of what people will think of me.

7. No guy has ever liked me, I fear that no one ever will.

I want to be more confident, but I need help!

ArtistBboy · Accepted Answer

Please don't take this rudly, you will see why I write what I do and I hope it helps =D

1- YMCA, Fitness First, "Jims Gym" ;; find an area that offers a gym type setting, this requires a few extra dollars a month, but wouldn't you happily pay $1 for every pound you lost? Hire a personal trainer if you have extra cash laying around, they do wonders. My sister was 330 lbs as a 15 year old, she is now 22 and only weighs 150 lbs (im really shocked she did so well)

2- What are you talking about?!? From my area I feel like a loner. The black people get all the love where I go. Usually they have a better sense of humor, aren't caught up in life so much, and provide an over-all great perspective that is different than how I see things.

3- Proactive ;; they will try and sell you everything in the name of god, but just get their basic kit which I think is $25 and you will se a MAJOR difference. I had bad acne too and now I am almost 98% acne free

4. Being nice is a great thing! Be walked on is something different. You need to be able to stand your ground and know when people have pushed the line and are invading your personal boundaries.

5. Socialize socialize socialize. Meet friends anywhere! My space is a great spot another great spot would be at a local cafe or even a movie house. Where-ever your journey in life takes you, don't be afraid to say "Hi how are you" if the person is rude, ignore them and block them out of your life. They are just jealous that you are happy and are fulfilled

6. Don't worry about what people think, if they are accepting they are like the other 77% of the population and will like you as an equal. The other 23% don't matter because they either aren't going anywhere or are already stuck in ruts in their own life, making them miserable and grumpy.

7. BULLSHIT- you just don't notice them =D My sister thought this same way till I proved to her what confidence can do. Now she has a rather attractive guy, but she is so cocky with knowing she can achieve what she wants, that she is pushing him away.

Being confident doesn't require help. Here's my summarization and I hope it helps:

Do small things to boost your ego, compliments are a great ego boost but rarely come. I would recommend buying things if you find satisfaction with that, or treating yourself to the movies. Socializing will be a great ego boost. Overall you don't want to become cocky like my sister, stay a kind hearted girl- but know your boundaries. If someone is being rude or doesn't like you- they are just one person in this world, why should they matter?

The easiest way to get out there and feel loved is to love yourself. Imagine how others feel if you can't bear yourself. Use this post and the feelings you have as motivation to get better regardless of anything or anyone that comes your ways and I gaurantee you will see results.

Have a wonderful day and if I can help further please let me know~

Best regards,

ArtistBBoy

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Everyday look in the mirror at your strengths and not your weaknesses. Spend more time out with your friends. As for acne it will go away once you start growing up. I would also try working out and going on runs. Things always get worse before they get better. Just hang in there.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

1. If someone calls you fat tell them to f*** off and make fun of their appearance. I hate to see overweight people being the victim. You can snap back and let them have it!

2. Yes black people have stereotypes, especially darker ones. Don't let that get you down. People who live by stereotypes are ignorant. So what you don't act like the "typical" black person, tell that person to f*** off also. There is no one code that we all have to live by. You have the right to be yourself. As far as black women being undesirable, that's only true if you believe it. If you act like "Oh I'm so ugly nobody will want me" then that's exactly what you'll give off. I know plenty of married black women or women that are at least dating someone.

3. Acne is temporary. I used to have the worst skin and now it's not bad at all.

4. You have to work on your self esteem. No one is worthless. You are just as worthy as anyone else. No one is better than you. Don't let these mean people get in your head or else you're just letting them win.

5. Cheer up. Keep your head up and realize you're a person of value. You seem to have good qualities that people will want to be around. (Intelligent, nice, thoughtful to name a few) All you have to do is believe that and be positive. A positive happy person will attract many friends.

6. Go out in public and enjoy your life! Fuck what people say. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life indoors because you are worried about what people who don't matter think? These people don't care about you and you shouldn't care about them either. They aren't paying any of your bills so why should you worry about them? No one is perfect, these same critical people that say so much about you could also have faults of their own picked out. Remember that.

7. There are a billion guys in the world and they don't all like the same thing. You can attract a guy to like you with confidence.

MysteAngel · Accepted Answer

Wow hun there is so much I would love to say to you but the outlines are

1. God does NOT make junk and he did not start with you! Stress is one thing that can prevent you from lossing weight and getting to your desired goal.

2. Black women are Gorgeous and dfinately desierable! Yes there are sadly stereotypes but the people that truly matter will not judge you. There are so many things that make Black women sexy and amazing you can dance sing run and are unique in your own way even if you don't fit those traditional things.

3. Again stress can make getting rid of acne a problem try calming down and concentrating on all of the possitive things about you.

4. You are NOT worthless in any way shape and or form! No one can make everybody happy it just doesn't hapen. If the people you are trying to make happy are only ignoring you and won't accept you there not worth your time.

5. Its not about quanity but quality I would rather have 3 really great friends then 300 that will stab me in the back and spread rumors.

. Do not be worried about what people thing of you. I know it sounds easier said than done but trust me it is worth it. You can gain confidence easily that way. If someone laughs ignore them I know it still hurts t it makes them wonder if it is even worth it after all.

7. You simpliy haven't met any guys worth your time yet and when you do it will be worth the wait.

Good Luck :) :P :D XD

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