I'm starting to feel depressed again. I don't want to go back to the way I was several years back. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Lately my job is really getting to me. I am a cleaner in a local school and I used to enjoy coming to work, the teachers are nice and are chatty while I do my work but I'm getting really depressed at the thought of coming into work now. They have invited me to nights out too but I dont go. It's not only my job, I feel quite suffocated at home. I'm nearly 21 and still live at home with my parents. I know while living under someones home you follow their rules but they seem to treat me like my younger siblings who are 6 and 7. The house is small so I share with my little sister. I'm very emotional at times and don't even like physical contact most of the time (eg hugs) I tend to go to my room a lot and stay there for hours and I'm crying over a lot of built up feelings and emotions. I literally have to drag myself out of bed in the mornings. I snap at the stupidest of things too. I used to cut myself and I would feel better and I'm afraid I'm heading towards that again. I've suffered in silence from the age of 12 and not even my parents knew I cut my wrists. The urge to cut stopped when I was 16/17 but it's back again and I'm terrifed. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Anonymous]

I kind of know how you see but you have to stay strong. Don't ever hit rock bottom again. Whenever times are low and I feel my old self coming back I try to remind myself how horrible life was back then and that I have other things to look forward to-my future.

Also I don't know about you but my family kind of mocked me about my all time low esp my older brother and I don't want to give him something new and fresh to tease me about.

Do whatever helped you in the past, for me it was prayer, reading self help books that empowered and uplifted me, listening to music, exercising, drawing/painting, hanging out with Good/Positive friends, writing, and mostly getting rid of the toxic people in mylife. I hhad some awful friends so I cut them out of my life

[ButtHoleSandwich]

Find a roommate and move out. Seems like you need your own space. Student housing is very reasonable.

[JSmith925]

You need professional assessment. No one can diagnose you over the internet. That said, cutting is closely associate with Borderline Personality Disorder. This is a difficult disorder to treat but there is a new approach that is having notable success called Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. You need to see an LCPC first (Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor) to determine the problem. Psychological issues are nothing to be ashamed of, any more than a cut finger or a bruised muscle. GET HELP!

[Klaatu51]

fuck... wotever happens don't cut... self-harm scars won't fade away easily... please avoid any sharp objects anyway

[Anonymous]

see a counselor.