I help a lot of people and most of the time this seems to be the case. It has happened over and over. But that's just me I watch it happen before it even happens I know it's going to happen but I still go ahead and do it.
I somewhat look at it like this
We all know wrong from right and we all know it's wrong to take advantage of somebody to get what they want knowing this is going to happen I will go ahead and do it anyway just so they could prove me wrong the most never do as matter fact most come back and try to get more I look at it as if I'm a tool 2 either teach them in that moment this is what it feels like to help somebody to be kind and if you're going to take advantage of that but in the wrong manner whatever happens to you happens to you.
Do you know what if you are a teacher and you were teaching kids this I give you thumbs up you are my hero and while you're doing this but if you can teach them in a positive manner cause and effect that's pretty powerful for young kids and it would be great if they understood it at a early age I wish I would have cause and effect it will challenge their minds forever if you do it right you're a good teacher
they can, often do. I've been abused much... but it's because I allowed it, because I was hurt and weak inside, the offshoot of being a sensitive person and inadequate parenting, and self development.
you need to tag team with my precious @midnightmoon05, an instructor of 1st graders. All I hear her do to train these kids, I agree with.
Yes... this is a fallen world where power, meanness, abuse, narcissistic evil... and these are all negative energies... rise to the top as they crush those below. There are people who operate out of evil selfishness and enjoy their power over others.
@midnightmoon05 is really good at training our oldest, daughter, in self esteem, self confidence, inner strength which is essential to people standing up to wickedness so they reach their fullest potential. Without strick parental awareness, constant work... she'd be a trashed troubled kid. She's A's and socially in good shape.
I'm convinced we need training in schools for empathetic people, those who are sensitive, so they learn about themselves and are equipped to navigate the world successfully.
It is the wounds in life that limit these kids... low energy sub emotions like fear, shame that control and limit them. That is the social emotional compoents. Love, joy, empathy, compassion need taught, with awareness of self... with inner strength and power so they can stand up to challenges. Some people are naturally more sensitive, emotional, empathetic, and they are more easily wounded by those who are... more heartless. All that for 1st graders... have to be conveyed more simply.
That is what needs installed in parents (parents need training as well in the hazards their kids face in the "social media world") and school setting, and the more heartless kids trained and disciplined as well, to limit their damage and encourage their positive development. They are just children... blank slates to be formed.
People who are genuinely nice and succeed have other characteristics to help balance things out. You can't be nice all the time to everyone. It's unlikely you'll like, or be liked by, everyone you meet, and trying to please all people is an impossible task and waste of time.
There are many successful people who are nice, and they are easy to sort out from those who are not. And these "evil" successful people you speak of are easily recognized as well, and their success is transient. We all get our due in the end.
If someone is unsuccessful it's unlikely strictly due to them being a genuinely nice person. I'd recommend seeking out examples of good people who are successful and see what characteristics they have in common and focus on encouraging those traits.
In my experience being "real" has a far greater impact on success than simply being "nice", though there's a time and place for both. Knowing when to speak up and when to shut up is probably more advantageous.
Kindness CAN go a long way. But there is a difference between being kind and standing up for yourself. I consider myself to be a nice person, but i am only nice to people who do not disrespect me. I am civil to people who are civil to me. Thats the way it works.
People can have various excuses as to why they are the way they are. But does it justify their actions? No. They are their own person. Their actions and opinions are their own. People have to own up for their shit. If a person is rude to me, I will just ignore them. Its not worth it to argue with them. I'm being smart by avoiding conflict and saving time. What have I got to win in a stupid argument? Its already a lost battle. They are not going to change. I think im going off topic here a little lol, but yeah, nice people DONT finish last. Only people who allow others to walk over them do. You should stand up for yourself when its necessary. You should know when its best to not say anything.
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I believe in God and although there are plenty of people on this site who are non-believers and atheists, in religious texts God says those who lived life of uncaring, selfishness, stubbornness and etc where they were blessed with many things or people around them. Often at times those who hardly have any friends, would rather listen than run their mouth, are grateful are usually the one's who will go through more difficulties in life. The notion of nice guys finish last is stupid to. I know girls who considered me a nice guy and rejected me. I was not some sex hound douche it's probably the vibe I give where I am not Mr. Super talkative/party guy. Guys who act tough with this bad persona are often pretty broken inside but girls only see their "tough" exterior in public. I know these guys behind closed doors away from girls and they aren't that tough tbh. God says, for those who are good I will give them eternal happiness in heaven. This life on earth is temporary. People think the judicial system is great in countries like America, while others will say the justice system is great. Point is, one day people will realize the ultimate judge is God and if you were a good person may God bless those souls entering heaven. If someone was a shitty person and killed people or raped people or did other stupid things then yes they will be punished.
Yup it happened to me but it was kinda my fault but not really , what happened did show me what kind of person I had in my life. I loved her since second date but the girl was destroyed self esteem and she did told me I'm tired giving everything I have and no one stay with me she was over weight but not that much but the damage was beyond my expectations so I sometimes used to tell her you're beautiful and you're Princes to lift her up from her dark world I was there for her while she was generally I sometimes found her not that beautiful but I had to say because her self worth was zero I took her out I hold her hand in public she liked it. I did everything I could but it wasn't enough I had to watch myself and what I was doing I knew she won't change and she needs professional help. I had bad feeling and it will end up bad. So she became distant and started talking bossy with me I had to stay because unfortunately she asked me to promise her and swear I will not leave or ghost her. Anyway my word was keeping me for a while there was up n down I did fight her because she cancelled our date I didn't talk her for a week then her friend said she wants to to you but she is shy. Anyway I didn't talk her I knew it was done. A week after that she post she's with her ex. I was really sad I told her I have to broke my promise to you I'm done ended there.
I finished last yes but I'm happy I didn't touch that girl I'm happy I finished last I dodged a huge bullet she saw me after 8 weeks she was shocked how improved I'm too 10 guys at my gym thankfully so she asked to back and act sweet but no way. You may finish last but there's something great waiting you. I met a wonderful women she was so kind and loving but unfortunately we couldn't stay together she was from Royal family and she was older than me by 8 years we had good time but unfortunately didn't continue but she make me forget that last story and start again.
Yes. The world isn't run by nice people, and often the most powerful and evil tend to pretend to be the "most nice." Look at Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, and Kamala Harris... I don't want to know how much super-evil is even in Elon Musk...
So yes, nice people finish last because the world is unfair and selfishness is the default human trait. This is also why niceness is held in high regard, by the way; it's rare for human beings to be nice and selfless. That should tell you why the good guys only win in fiction.
I think there is a difference between being kind and being a pushover who let's everyone walk all over them. If you are kind, hardworking and capitalize on opportunities then you will be fine in life. Plenty of people with strong ideals have made it far in life. You might not ever become a super rich billionaire caus would have to be a giant asshole for that but you'll be okay. Cheating, lying and being an asshole to get to the top will probably get you there faster but someone who isn't can also climb the ladder of success. You just have to be patient. Be kind and you'll meet kind poeple. Surround yourself with people who care strongly about social issues like climate change, underprivileged youth or giving out food to the hungry. You will find nothing but kind poeple. That doesn't mean they are pussies tho. Big difference.
When it comes to survival, as seen during Covid, all this share and be nice and wait your turn clearly doesn't apply. The same goes for hurricane recovery in my area. Those that hoarded, pushed their way to the front, lied, paid someone off, made sure to get their families and friends in, looked out for their own above all else, found themselves winning. People are like, well that's awful and that shouldn't happen, but yet look who is always getting screwed and not getting enough supplies or help because they did what the government, or some organization, or the media said to do, which is do things in an orderly fashion, according to this and that wait list or to only take/buy one.
I think there are a lot of advantages to being nice in the social world, but in the hard knocks school of life, they often finish last trying to uphold these values above all else.
Have you ever thought about how many people in this world consider themselves good, kind, or smart or whatever? The truth is, they're just like everybody else, convinced of their own greatness. That's why they're in last place. Those of us who are true to ourselves are the winners. It doesn't have to do if we're nice or not, it's just that we know the reality of human nature and are not afraid of it.
Nice and kind people don’t always finish last, but nor do they value winning at all costs. When they are overtaken, they know they are empowered in their serenity by their view of all the assholes manically a-wobble in front of them! But they breathe easy, for it’s cool to be calm and collected because they’ve taken to life in a more collected and thoughtful manner in which they see the lie of the commonplace ultra-competitive need to win at all costs, which is so often just another pressure from those who seek to divide and rule! Have the self-confidence to let the rude and unempathetic live in their own miserable ultra-competitive prisons of the soul. Fly free and just be! You are a rare and wonderful specialty just the way you are!
'' 1st-graders '' makes me assume that you're a teacher?
Well: your ''boss'' then, is ''the System''; which expects everyone to do as told. Peaceful little sheep waiting for the shears; bah bah.
It's not, that the ''nice'' people can't have anything. They just are more exposed to the results of the recklessness of others. It's allowed to teach at least this.
Think about it next time when you order something at Amazon's, or when 'you' go cheering a ''hero''.
'You' get what you deserve. So 'you' should teach what you wish to get.
The most important thing I learned myself at school: '' you can always say 'no' ''
(... and we all can say this in friendliness)
I’ve given up on this whole nice guy vs asshole debate.
I’m naturally a “nice guy” but that doesn’t give me an excuse to be naive. It’s a dirty secret that “nice” people think that “do unto others” guarantees that others will do good back. Sadly sociopaths do you exist (5% of the population) and I must have my guard up at all times.
However I can gladly say I’ve gotten tougher in the last few years. I have gotten quicker to analyze people and will draw the line with disrespect. I can take a step back and see things for what they really are. Actually accept that the ugly truth is reality.
I’ve called out and cut off a few women who tried to do friéndzone bulllshit. Felt good. I also draw the line with my abusive mother. But at the same time it’s depressing that since I give off the “nice vibe” that some people are inclined to attempt to take advantage of it.
Why ask this question?
Are you trying to figure out if being nice is “worth it” - like if everything will work out in your favor? (which it seems you would only ask if you’re very selfish) I’ll tell you now - depending on how you see things, it won’t. However, if you decide to be an asshole, that has a way of hitting you BIG TIME in the end, and not in a good way (ever heard the expression “mean people suck!”? Well, it’s true).
Kindness always wins in the end, even if you take a few hits along the way.
Actually nice people, tend to be gentle and not super confident, which makes them seem unattractive to many; Where rude & toxic people tend to come across as confident, which is why people wonder where all of the nice, kind, and thoughtful people are.
Not at all. I've tried changing my attitude a bit and complimenting people more, and they most of the time compliment me back. I feel a thousand times more positive now than I did before. If you give some positivity you'll most likely get it back, but if you give nothing but negativity, you'll very rarely get any positivity from people. Although, it should be said there is a point where it's not worth being kind and positive anymore.
You can be a kind person, and not be a push over.
I think many need to learn to be more self focused than they are and that doesn't entail being mean to others. You simply put yourself first.
Nice guys finish last refers to competition. Not life as a whole. But if you want to broaden it to be a life message as a whole, what it would mean then is You can help others but don't be overly sympathetic to their situation to the point of your detriment.
Help others as long as it doesn't hurt you to do so. Which is a good message. But that's a little too nuanced for kids to understand young
That's because doing what's right doesn't carry with it a reward. That's why people often don't do good because there's nothing in it for them. But doing good is the reward in of itself without gain in return. And if you're religious you earn favour from God pertaining to the afterlife. But few people do good for goodness sakes. That's why the world is a shitpile because people don't help each other out unless there's something in it for them.
Depends on the level of niceness.
If you blurt out your plans and strategies then your competitors take advantage of you and also don't give you credit later.
Never ever help those who are super clingy with you and always keeps asking for guidance, trust me it's my experience, they're the worst kind of manipulative parasites. The moment you do anything separately, they will try to discourage you or talk trash about you.
If by nice you mean poor boundaries/they’re a pushover then they finish last. If by nice you mean cooperative but strong and able to work both independently or in a mutually beneficial group then they finish best, not sure about first but more enduringly.
u well... if I were to keep count on "these things" I am quite ahead...
probably 8 to 2 ratio... against the shitheads
and I am quite a kind person, I am nice... but I don't allow people to mess with me, that's the difference
Don't be silly. You're setting yourself up for failure by not preaching what you understand.
So called "nice" is subjective. How many times do you hear about serial killers and how they were "nice neighbours" and "wouldn't hurt a fly?".
What you think to be nice and "nice people" can be subjective and should never be a yardstick.
Though it often feels that way. Everybody gets what deserve in the end. If good people know that deep down inside they are good people. I have to believe that the “not so good” people know what they truly are as well.
Our elites are increasingly greedy and heavy-handed. The disparity in wealth between the silicon valley elite and everyone else in California, for example, is the most extreme in human history. These people are not nice, and they reward people who are not nice. They also reward playing in the ethical gray area. Throughout my career I’ve seen this trickle down and have a corrupting effect on American corporate culture, not to mention government.
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