I want to wait until marriage, is that so wrong?

[jojoanna]

Yesterday I was out with my friends who all already had sex with their boyfriends/ex-boyfriends/randoms. So me and this other girl (let's call her Jenny for simplicity's sake) are the only people who have not. Every time this topic comes up we're treated as outcasts because we "don't know the pleasures".
The reason I'm waiting until marriage is not because I'm religious or anything, I'm an Atheist. Or because I've got stereotypical Asian parents who expect me to only study in university and get married when I'm old and frail. They support my siblings and my own decisions. Even when my older brother had sex with his girlfriend they were just there to remind him to use protection and to make sure he escorts his girlfriend back home. Like I can tell my mum I plan to have sex with my boyfriend tomorrow and she'll probably send me money to go buy something appropriate to wear. I'm actually waiting because I want it to be romantic. I want it to be with the person I love, the person I will be with the rest of my life. Not a boyfriend I have that I can break up with anytime.
So even though I love my friends, they treat me differently every time and say stuff like "Jo and Jen wouldn't know. They're the prude sisters remember?" It hurts and it's also pressurising Jenny to have sex with her boyfriend which I know she doesn't want to because like me she's waiting for the right guy and the right moment.
So is waiting until marriage so wrong? Like of course it's hard for me and my boyfriend to hold back sometimes but we both agree that we want it to be with the right one at the right time.
Thanks for reading my long rant and answering!

[xHoneyxBeex]

No, it's not wrong. No one should be pressured to have sex since it's a very personal decision. I think you should stand up for yourself. They may be just joking and not realize how much it hurts you. So, speak up and tell them that you're tired of the jokes and being made to feel like an outcast just because you're a virgin. If your friends can't respect your choice to wait, then they aren't truly your friends.

[queensanne]

There is nothing wrong with waiting until marriage. You should do what you want to do and what feels right for you. If waiting until marriage makes you happy, wait. Because the most important thing is that you are happy with your decisions. And your friends should respect your decision it is your life not theirs.

[prettygirl13]

Its not wrong at all. If you want to wait than you should because I know I wish now that it would be better if I waited until o got married so there's no shame or bad into wanting to wait.

[Northeast106]

@jojoanna it's not a bad thing, but it is becoming rare in today's times. Your friends are young and immature. In a few years, you probably won't even see them or know them. Friends come and go, but your life is your decision. If you and your boyfriend are happy and are on the same page, that's all that matters.

[Rahdle]

Waiting till marriage is not wrong at all. Me and my gf are waiting and you can to if you feel you should. Waiting till marriage helps cement the marriage. That's what will help you not be in the over half of marriages that get divorced. I say good for you 😃👍

[Phoenix98]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until marriage, whatever your reasons for it being, religious, romance, personal etc. You should find someone who is one the same page as you and you should never feel like your odd or strange because of your choices, I'm waiting until marriage myself and I do it proudly it's a rare thing now a days, far to rare.

[BCRanger10]

If you've chosen to wait, then it should not be counted against you. Your friends are being pretty immature by saying stuff like that. If it bothers you as much as it does, you should talk to your friends about it. If they are really your friends, they will respect how you and your sister feel. If not, then you need to find new friends.

[Tractorbeam]

It's not wrong, but it can often be foolish to wait until after you're married.
Only 3% of the population in western countries marry as virgins. 1% of marriages are never consummated. Good odds? Not if you plan to enjoy a healthy sex life during marriage.
I equate it to betting your life savings on a horse that's never run a race.

[kataloso]

Of course there's nothing wrong with that. It's a perfectly reasonable point of view given your current age/maturity/relationship experience. Like most things I would guess your view will continue to change/evolve over time, but you sound like you have a level head on your shoulders so just trust your instincts and don't get too attached or boxed in with certain ideals.

[slatyb]

Do exactly as you please. If you don't want to have sex then don't have sex. And maybe get some more supportive friends. Adults are a lot more tolerant of differences than high-school kids.

[lkjhg69cum]

Pay no attention to them. Nothing wrong with that at all. It's nice, and even noble in its way. You have sex when YOU are ready. It's not your friend's life, it's yours.

[iamthefourthdoor]

I think it's great that you want to wait, but does your boyfriend know that you want to wait? Because I feel that by telling him he deserves to know so he can make up his mind on if he wants to stay with you or not

[hardcoeur]

Marry me! I'm kidding. I want to do the same too. In this day and age it's rare I believe. But if you and you're boyfriend are on the same page, then more power to you!

[AleDeEurope]

Hey, if that's what you want, no one should make you feel bad about it. You should never feel pressured to have sex, and friends should put other friends down because of this.

[vietboy1st]

stick with it. that way, why because if the guy really love you, he will wait and respect you more... See why your friends had sex with their b/f because in a few months it will become their ex b/fs lol. Dating is not a commitment. marriage is...

[genericname85]

it´s not wrong it´s just in my opinion not a clever thing to do since this will make it more likely to go through a divorce later on... you can consider yourself what is worse.

[jojoanna]

How come?

[genericname85]

Well because you don't know each other properly before you had sex. That's just what I think.

[jojoanna]

But I'm curious how having sex equates to knowing each other properly. Some people have sex within weeks or even days. Wouldn't this have a higher chance to a divorce because you don't know each other properly? Instead of let's say knowing someone for a couple of years and then getting married and having sex. You would know someone better in an intimate/comfortable level after a couple of years... Wouldn't you?
Just curious and want to clarify. :)

[genericname85]

to me sex should be part of a healthy relationship. i see it like a test if you can work as a team. if you can't work as a team (cant make each other cum) the relationship is doomed. so i´d want to know this before marriage... and i´m not saying you should fuck the very day you meet her or something...

[mei0313]

No there is nothing wrong with that. it is your body and your life. If you want to wait for the right person then it is none of their business. :)

[Klaatu51]

there's a mytake somewhere about "losing your virginity = throwing away a life of misery" ir sth like tat

you should readit basically

[dancefanatic1345]

No that's a good thing you won't regret waiting until marriage.

[1GuyOpinion]

Nah, we all got our choices to make. You made yours.

[Strider90]

its not wrong but you will have a hard time finding a guy.

[jojoanna]

How come?

[AlwaysBelieving]

It's your choice, not theirs. If I were you, I'd get new friends.

[Chick180]

No, that's not wrong. It's your decision and nobody has the right to judge you for that.

[vekin]

If you think it's the right thing to wait for the right guy then don;t let anyone change your mind, no matter what they say

[chocolateismylover]

Nope, it's your choice. Do whatever your comfortable with.