My boyfriend doesn't take me out? Should I end it?

[Anonymous]

Whenever we see hangout, he asks me where i wanna go, but my town's pretty boring and with the weather our options are limited so we usually always end up hanging out in his car, listening to music and talking. We sometimes go for food, but I'm completely broke atm so I can't get myself anything. He sometimes asks if I want anything but I say no because I don't want him to feel like he has to spend money on me. TBH I was just trying to be understanding of his financial situation but I'm WAY more broke then he is now
Whenever he says he's hungry I say I am too, yet he only buys himself food and eats it right in front of me without sharing or even offering to get me anything. He barely gets me a 4 dollar snack and I don't know... I don't wanna be high maintenance but I want to be treated to a nice meal sometimes. Even on our first few dates he never took me out anywhere nice and when we went to the movies i payed because he lost his card (which turned out to be true).
by the way he's a very nice guy and I can tell he cares about me a lot, but I know he can afford occasional dinners w me he just doesn't know how to spend his money wisely

[DominicJohn]

This is actually quite sad. There's just no way a guy should eat in front of his girl when she's hungry and offer nothing. Even friends/strangers won't do that when they know that the other person sitting next to them is hungry. It's just mean and uncomfortable.

Try to say yes to food more often (unless you're not hungry).

You're not high maintenance at all. It's just a meal. Not even at a restaurant. No way anyone can call this high maintenance. High maintenance would be asking for meals at fine dining restaurants and branded gifts, makeup or jewellery. Lots of expensive night outs or even trips overseas.

If a guy can't even make sure his girl isn't hungry, he doesn't deserve to be with her.

My suggestion is to say yes to food when he asks. Then you ask him where he wants to go and what he's getting. Then you tell him what you'd like to have as well. As long as you don't throw away the food, he shouldn't complain.

If he genuinely can't afford it then that would be a totally different question. Hope this helps. Good luck. ☺

[Asker]

Thank you!

[DominicJohn]

You're welcome ☺

[Unit1]

"We sometimes go for food, but I'm completely broke atm so I can't get myself anything. He sometimes asks if I want anything but I say no because I don't want him to feel like he has to spend money on me."

"Whenever he says he's hungry I say I am too, yet he only buys himself food and eats it right in front of me without sharing or even offering to get me anything He barely gets me a 4 dollar snack and I don't know... I don't wanna be high maintenance but I want to be treated to a nice meal sometimes."

Girl fucking what? Do you realize, that you have contradicted yourself?
...
I mean... yes. Break up with him. He deserves someone, who will say what she means and not get upset over actions (or the lack thereof) that were influenced by herself. Please let him have someone more serious.
Or you know... why not up yourself here and now?

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Really. This is why men can't understand women.

[Unit1]

On second read, I missed something. My bad.

You actually DID say, that you were hungry later. I missed this point. How embarrassing🙄
But that is what caused me confusion in the first place.

Anyway, maybe you'd want to make sure, that you get with someone, who will not behave like your boyfriend does. In other words, yes, do consider it.

[Asker]

hahaha i guess u still made a point tho I should just tell him straight up when I do want something. I honestly just didn't want him to think I was taking advantage or anything.. I'm very new to relationships lol I don't know how this goes

[Unit1]

Ahhh, so that makes a lot more sense now.

Likewise I have 0 experience with relationships and women. I do however have some common decency and common sense enough to be able to judge unbiased but even I have my own limits in this.

But let me just assure you, that you are not being needy or anything. A gold digger would mostly see the value in a man by his resources. I don't think you are.

I'm just more concerned about how he doesn't realize what he is doing. I think you should first let him humbly know before you are breaking things off. He may really be unaware of what he is doing. Have a talk with him about it.

[Asker]

Fair enough😅 thanks for the help!😊

[Unit1]

Glad i could help 😊

[SarahsSummer]

You need to stop saying no to food when he offers and when you have money offer to get him something. Do you both have jobs? Why do you have to hang out in his car? Are you both homeless?

[Asker]

i don't have a job but he does. And we both have strict parents so we can't go to each other's house. There's also not much to do in the winter where I live so we can't really do much fun stuff lmao

[Cosytoasty]

Why are you broke tho?

Next time he asks you if you want something to eat, say yes. One of the MOST annoying things is when I ask and the girl says no, but then tells me she wants some... no you’re not a child, answer properly if you want food.

[Asker]

I don't know about other girls but I personally ONLY say no when I feel bad about the guy spending money on me. And I'm broke because I'm jobless atm sadly

[solaris1987]

well maybe you should just tell him where you wamt to go and what you want SIMPLE speak up girl

[KhoryESM]

It sounds like it’s your fault if I’m being honest like he doesn’t get you anything because before you made it clear that you don’t want anything

[Asker]

what about the time i told him I was hungry tho and he just bought himself food without asking me if I wanted anything?

[KhoryESM]

Maybe he wasn’t thinking about you at the time because he’s used to you not asking

[Anonymous]

When a guy is hungry, he is more fond of his meal than his girl.
So next time when he asks you if you're hungry, respond by saying " I'll share with you" or I'll take a bite from yours.

[Asker]

would you find it rude if you asked her if she wanted anything and she said yes? and actually ordered what she wanted? nothing too expensive of course all fast food

[joshb]

No not all. Some people are not good at picking up on things like these. If you want something, you need to ask for it. Guys aren't mind readers. But I do think thats rude that he eats in front of you and doesn't offer anything.

[Opinion Owner]

No I wouldn't. I prefer to buy meals when I'm out with the opposite sex.
And , As long as she doesn't order something extremely expensive or doesn't hog like there's no tomorrow, I'll be fine.

It's lame for girls to just sit idle while the other person is having his meal.

[Opinion Owner]

It's even more difficult to pick up signs when you're hungry. I would say it's almost non existent. That's why they have snacks and popcorn catering to couples in movie halls.

[Asker]

oh that makes sense! This is my first relationship and I'm not used to someone paying for me. If i let him buy me food, should I be paying for him too sometimes? How do I know when I'm supposed to pay?

[Opinion Owner]

Not necessarily. If you are really broke. Keep some nuts in your pocket when you're going be out to meet him.
Guys aren't very touchy about buying you a snack or something sinilar once in a while.
If its a regular thing, then the guy will certainly avoid you.
The hints cannot be explained, it's for you to find out by experience and practice.

[Asker]

fair enough, thanks for the help!(:

[Opinion Owner]

my pleasure.

[huddo35]

Is everything else great

[Asker]

not great but he's a good guy!

[huddo35]

Must people are good but that’s not a relationship so maybe it is time to move on