My SO don't want me to go in the career i choosen before Because there are higher chances of death so i agreed because all i want her to be happy but she's overweight and she had serval helth issues so we decided to take her some healthy hobbies but she seems really careless about it but she always promises to follow them but she doesn't she is so nice that i think she's the one but still i want to know what should i choose my career or her? I'm really confused please help 😔
Girls and guys Would you choose love over career or career over love?
Here's the thing: I think it's a complicated issue. It depends on how strongly attached to either.
For example, let's assume you want a career as a firefighter. You've wanted to be a firefighter since you were 3 when your parents got you a toy firetruck. You live, breath, and exist for fighting fire. As dangerous as it may be, it's your life-long dream, and a part of your identity. It's understandable if your significant other worries about you and wants you to just get a nice and cushy desk job. If anything, it may be coming from a place of love and concern.
ON THE OTHER HAND
On the other hand, let's say you love your SO. You've known eachother since you were little children and have been together for 10 years. Let's say, she lost her father and brother in a fire and that they were firefighters who died in the line of duty. Would you blame her for not wanting you to become a fire fighter?
I understand that my scenarios are hypothetical, but I don't know enough about your situation to give a great l better answer.
In that situation you have to give her the ultimatum. Either you try to get healthy or I take this job. If she don't want you to die in the job but is still unhealthy herself and have health issue then it's unfair to make you do this decision.
Career. I rather be independent and self sufficient. Don't get me wrong. I want love. But I will always choose my future over love. If you can take care of yourself, when you find love, you won't need to depend on them for money, food, clothes (essentially money based stuff) and won't be tied down to them. And also along the years, your whole life might end up just revolving around your spouse or partner or family. If they end up being abusive, you might not think of leaving him because you can't support yourself. If they cheat, it's the same. If you guys wanna divorce, it's a dead end. Support yourself. Be independent.
Your case, if you love her, love demands sacrifice. It's inevitable. Are you willing to sacrifice your time, effort and career for her? Don't think if she would do the same for you. Health related stuff is a personal drive tbh. You cannot force them to get into it and that's that.
Yeah. Well working for it is much more of a guarantee than being lovesick and pinning for a dude who might leave you in the end. It's just my background and what I've seen to end up prioritizing my future than love. Hard work can bring you places. Love can only bring you so far.
Career over EVERYTHING EXCEPT parents and siblings, & no offense but, tell me what's your point for mentioning her negative characteristics? Are you trying to seek an answer for 'is she worth giving up career for'? Or is the question really same as what mentioned?
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3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Yes that is what i want to know that is she worth giving up career for?
I think they're both important but if I'm not happy with the career I'm going for love. But if I am happy then I hope the one I'm in love with would support me
Love, bacause i am not here to be slave for a system which i didn´t choose to be a part of, many people are already starting the revolution, building self sustaining communities, i don´t know if i will be a part of them or go my own way, but definitely i am here to bring down this illuminati false democracy based on coveted slavery.
earlier i thought i'd choose love over everything but now i'll choose career becuz about lover we can't say long it lasts people change over time no matter how love is between them everything changes and also u don't khow weather they'd be your life partner or not so career is the best option becuz it will hold on with you throughout your life
I will choose career cause that is what we live for. Doing something which would leave a mark in the world. One's life should be meaningful. Love is also necessary but what if your partner leaves you down the line for someone much successful in her career.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
That is what I fear that if after changing my goal if she leaves everything will be meaning less
You obviously should not choose someone who can't fit in some average shape. And as you're a man, always choose a career. The money won't fail you, cheat on you or bring their mum to live with you.
Work isn't everything. At the end of the day you still have to go home. Its your choice to go home to someone you love and want to build a future with. That being said, you should both strive to put in effort for each other.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Pull yourself together! You have no idea if she's going to be with you for the rest of your life, there is no way of telling that. You career, on the other hand, will stick with you untill you're retired. So, when choosing a career, you should choose for you, not for someone else.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Wellll... as much as I want love... a career is always going to be there...
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3 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
As for your situation: I’d say you should probably go with your career. You’ll only start to resent her otherwise and if you two don’t work out you’ll massively regret it. I can understand her concerns as she cares for you, but if it’d really make you happy then she will support you if she cares enough.
She doesn't really love you if she doesn't want to see you succeed. You can have love and have someone that supports you. Your significant other should lift you higher not pull you down.
Career first. If she was already your wife, then it would be different, but you're not there yet. She doesn't get to make those kinds of decisions for you yet.
I mean I love being in love but if my relationship is going to stop from achieving my goals I would probably choose my career, but if my partner is willing to scarified everything for me I would totally do the same.
I mean happiness is important and if a person makes you happy hold on to them as long as possible.
I chose career over love before, and still regret this decision to this day. On the other hand, I didn't feel like, that my love was very supportive, career-wise. So I would rather go with love > career, but it might depend on the bigger context and small details in a relationship...
Depends on who i am with. If its someone that i really really love and appreciate, i am choosing them. If they dont matter that much , career it is. P. S : didn't read the details of the question only the title.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
If the love is worth it I would find a way to incorporate love and career
Career. I got one in the field I studied for based on my interests. It's part of who I am. Asking me to leave it on someone else's terms is like asking me to stop being me. No one is worth that.
it's amazing question career means money love means emotional but sometimes lovers look for money with love nowadays money is most important with it you can get love
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