My ex boyfriend and father of our kid was physically abusive to me. He wants to see our daughter now. How can I prevent this?

[Anonymous]

I'd recommend getting a lawyer. If he doesn't have custody, he would need to go to court in order to force you to let him see the child. I'd recommend getting ahead of the train and getting one yourself. Discuss your options with them. Specifically, I would talk about the risks and rewards of trying to get a restraining order, vs. waiting to see if he's going to press charges. The threats make me think you should press charges, just in case, especially if your child could be in danger. Here's a link to find a child custody lawyer near you. https://www.avvo.com/child-custody-lawyer.html

Also, if he doesn't have any custody, you can move away without telling him. He might find you, but at least it will buy you time. I would recommend that, based on the fact that he has violent tendencies. Only tell people that you trust, and try to go somewhere that he wouldn't guess. You can also pay to stay out of the phone books.

Since you said he's threatening you, don't be afraid to let CPS know about the situation, and don't hesitate to call the police.

Here's a link that can help you find a social worker near you. The social worker would be able to help you throughout the process. https://www.helppro.com/nasw/BasicSearch.aspx

Finally, just in case for whatever reason he does manage to get time alone with her, make sure that your daughter has a way to contact you, and that her location is shared with you. I don't know how old she is, but if she isn't old enough that you would want her to have a phone. They make smart watches for children with a GPS in them. Here's an article running through some of your options for that. https://www.smartgeekwrist.com/gps-watches-kids/

[MissGeorgia]

Just have court ordered supervised visitation. It doesn't mean you have to go to full court.
See a mediator who will draw up the same paperwork anyway and go from there.
It's pretty simple, you have an agreed day, time and place, whether it be at a contact centre or somewhere else you both agree on. You drop her off with him and a social worker, and often another professional. It's usually for one morning every other week to start, and it gets monitored as it goes.

I've been through this. I wasn't in an abusive relationship, he was just involved in some bad stuff.
When ex partner was having his visitation supervised, he was having twice monthly drug tests, he had a therapist who was helping him work on some issues that he had... there are things that you can put in place that you can insist he agrees to, and take it from there.
If the two of you can't agree, take it to the court.

[tenukitanuki]

You need to burn this person out of your life if you've made the decision that he's just not safe to have around your family. Hitting a pregnant woman takes a lot of self-hatred if you ask me so don't give him anything that reminds him of himself. I bet he runs on anger and hate because of his own shameful nature. I speak as a man that grew up to a size so that I could defend my mother.

Apparently his home life was even worse but guess what? who cares? I wish the rubella killed him as a baby so the world could be a better place. Scrub this violent shit stain out of your life so that your kid doesn't have to obsess over the idea of hating this asshole forever.

[SteveSmith1985]

Call children's social services wherever you live. They should be able to tell you what options are available to you. I should hope that there is some mechanism to keep your daughter safe in this situation. I would think that child welfare services could get you to your first steps towards doing SOMETHING proactive to prevent this. How old is s he.

Also. It's great that you were able to move out and get away from him. I have some appreciation for the amount of strength and guts it takes to do that. Good for you 🙂

[PrincessGrail]

Testify at the custody hearing about how he abused you

[OlderAndWiser]

In what state or country do you live? How old is your daughter? How long has it been since he saw her in person?

[Liam_Hayden]

Let's take this step by step.

Does he have visitation ordered by the courts? Or is he even named on the birth certificate? If not he currently has no legal rights, full stop. He would need to go to court to get paternity established. You do not have to allow anything at all.

If he is named he does have rights as well as financial responsibilities but would still need to go to court to get a specific visitation schedule unless you both agree.

You said he was abusing and has threatened you. How exactly? Document these incidents, in writing. It holds a lot more weight with the authorities if you can say, for example, "He called me at noon on Tuesday, July 23, 2019 and told me that if I don't let him come over he is going to trash my car." than to say "he threatened me a few weeks ago." Dates and times are important. Document every time he does anything untoward.

[Xlink]

He probably wasn't and your probably a whore liar. If he really was you would have went to the cops and documented it. Cops believe the woman first especially involving a kid.

Take him to court but we all know what's sup here your probably broke up and playing the victim.
Stop asking stupid ass question when you know what to do.
You got fucking 911 not girls ask guys

[GiveitaShance]

Not really. I get asked out for being average looking because of how I present myself and my personality. Tinder isn't the choice in doing that because you see the picture first which is what you base your attraction off of instead of meeting naturally.

[klara68114]

Get a court order.
Was he ever reported whilst he abused you? Do you have evidence of this? Messages, pictures, anything?
If so then see a solicitor asap and get the order put into place revoking his custody. He is not the person to have a child around. It isn't good for her. Cut contact and try to get yourself somewhere he can't find you. Ask social services for help moving.

[canadiancoloursky]

If he isn't on birth record//or anything you can move away, you don't have to tell him where you go... Or restraining order//// tell him and cops it isn't his kid and that you were with other guys too, then he will have to get paternity test, which takes time,, time you can use to have main custody and see if he wants to even be there for the long haul as a parent.

[bigcuband]

File a domestic violence police report and a restraining order with all of the abuse in it, the judge will give you a temporary order the same day until a custody hearing can be decided, if he violates the order he will be arrested, if he gets arrested once he will lose the opportunity to have favor during the custody hearing automatically

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but you're screwed. I'm sure you love your daughter but you should have aborted. Now he has rights over her and if you try to keep her away, people (men and women) will hate you thinking you're some crazy feminist for wanting to protect your daughter. When in the end, he is a heartless bastard that will hurt your child. If he can beat a pregnant woman, he does not care about you nor his child. I'm sorry for your situation but this is what happens when women are too moral and righteous for our own good. People will blame you even though you're the victim. That's the story of womanhood. I'm sorry

[Kha0tiic_xo]

Is he abusive to the child? I'm asking because if not why should the child not see him? There can be arrangements made for visitations so the two of you don't see each other? If he was or is, court ASAP!
Also I'm sorry to hear this nobody deserves that from anyone , I'm dealing with this myself right now , things will get easier ! Chin up love

[Avicenna]

If his paternity has been acknowledged and there is no police report about the abuse. he may be able to get a court order allowing visitation.
Without knowing more details, it's hard to advise.

[Dav1ss]

Do you have anything photos of the damage he did doctors records anything? Has he been prosecuted for what he did to you? Pm me if you need to talk

[Anonymous]

File a restraining order against him for you and your daughter. You have enough evidence and hopefully the police have enough documented proof of your ex’s domestic abuse towards you in order to do so. If that doesn’t work out you can contact child services and ask for them to supervise visits.

[winterfox10]

Is he making any kind of child support payments, or otherwise helping to raise the child? If not, I'm fairly certain that he doesn't have visitation rights.

[Guardian45]

I'm assuming you have not taken any legal action. It is time, you need establish clear evidence of a pattern of violent behavior with the police. This means providing the police with xrays, doctor's reports, pictures of all injuries with dates.

[Keyarose]

This is hard because if you don't have proof to show the court you may not have any luck.

[Gedaria]

Its a little late now, But tell him if he wants to be in the youngsters life he better start paying money for his child. Usually it brings them down to earth thinking he has to pay...

[Agape93]

Get a restraining order and character witnesses to what he has said and done.

[juliabettencourt]

Im going threw this right now with my unborn son. Literally the same situation he choked me too. And im getting a restraining order agaist him. Then after my son is born supervised visits i dont feel comfortable either him with my son. So i know how it feels to be going threw this

[antonio1970]

He shouldn't be around u.. he get help. for he's abuse? doesn't deserve to let him. be near u. after what he has done. mental and prob physical abuse