This means... view is that there is a discrepancy between women's stated preferences and their actual choices in men. AND discrepancy between men's stated preferences and their actual choices in women
For example: women say that they want nice guys, but really go for men who are "jerks" or "bad boys" in the end. OR men say that they want nice girls, but they real go for women who are "bad girls" or "bitches" in the end
To be honest. It's kinda true. But it's also kinda false. It's not that we finish last its that... nice people sometimes, are view as complacent, normal. Confusion in the definitions of nice and normal is more common now than 20 years ago. Back then normal was; decent, mild mannered, good hygiene, good with kids and stable job. The nice guy was all that and then he opened doors for ladies and elderly, he help kids get their cats out of trees. He spoke on controversial issues and he spoke up when something wasn't right. Now days nice and normal is blurred together as men and women find themselves in this pool of social uncertainty. Humans on both sides look for excitement and thrill and "does this person cause excitement and emotional up lift? Do I get turned on when thinking of them? That's ultimately what it is. And it's sad because those who still help those poor kittens and speak at political events about injustice and who hold the doors for women and the elderly is considered normal or at the very least, a commonly excepted act of human consideration. It's nothing special. No big deal. But the guys with big money, big cars, big jobs, big houses and big... well you know where I'm going... are the idealistic image of the nice guy or the "right guy". Hence why some real nice guys would rather let there wives be ran through by some hung black guy so she can be satisfied rather than speak on the moral repercussions of thinking that, just because I'm nice... im boring. Not enough... and this happens on both sides of the spectrum. Men and women do it constantly. Failed marriages and relationships where A loves B but B is sleeping with C knowing that A loves them. and A has been taught that the nice guy is happy as long as everyone is too. So yes it's a very broad overview and I may not see all the details but that is what I think. We nice people, are always the back up... for failed relationships and mothers who's man turned out to be a piece of shit and now they want the stability. It's TRUE. We are more often than not left by the way side. When we want and should be need now not when the race has started and you dont thing you can finish alone after George left you... sorry again. Just my opinion and what I think. If you disagree that's cool and I respect that.
100% true. although the labelling is kinda misleading and unspecific.
men who are nice don't do to well in the dating world. same as men who are very short or men with micropenises basically. its just like that, its just seen as unmasculine. not only do they "finish last", they also have a higher chance of ending up with low quality women. but being nice is something you can adjust, unlike physical characteristics.
you can be more or less "nice" professionally and within personal relationships, but with women its always better to appear more dangerous, cocky, and goal/purpose oriented ( by that I mean you make what you set out to do the number 1 priority and everything and everyone else comes after). but the most important thing in my opinion is success. if you truly becomes successful, you will have to step on some toes. you can't be nice and be at the top, that's a cartoonish dream, because a lot of people who are aiming for the top are breaking rules and you have to compete with them. if you become successful, at whatever you do, you will be attractive. personally I also think this is a nice method to lose the "nice guy" attitude. just become competitive and try to be the best.
I mean what do you consider a 'bad girl'? Are we talking a girl with a fake tan who wears a lot of cheap looking skimpy dresses or a genuinely bad person who treats people badly? Because most of the men I've met dislike both... they may except a bj from the first though.
On the topic of nice guys, I think everyone should watch Jordan Peterson on why nice guys finish last. It's on youtube, very logical. Nice people are too accommodating towards others. They're putting so much effort into figuring out what everybody else wants, that they don't know what they, themselves, want. Often giving out plenty of false signals, appearing conflicted with confused opinions and passive. They don't go for what they want, because they don't know what they want. This can pose issues in career as well as personal life. However, women are actually the most agreeable, and men are the more disagreeable. But considering gender relationship dynamics, it's more of a problem for men to be too agreeable... but you don't want to be too disagreeable either...
Lol I feel bad for men, and it's so hard to get right. You can't be too nice because that's weak, and you can't be too callous because no one will like you. Oh well... <3
Credit to you for mentionning J. Peterson♡ I've watched almost all of his lectures. Yes, also, "nice guys" lack confidence so they are less charming to girls in some ways.
Goodness no. I’m with someone who’s really nice right now and genuinely loves and adores me. And I’ve had the experience of being with flaky, bad boy jerks to know the difference between someone who truly cares about you and more importantly makes the effort to be with you than someone who just uses their words in order to lure one into a false blanket of security and safety. I was “with” a guy for seven months and I never met him even once. We decided thrice to meet up and this was the first time that I was stood up by anyone ever. I waited for hours on end, and then finally decided to get out of this toxicity. He gave me rare moments, I used to call him and those conversations would last for hours on end. Intellectual, beautiful conversations. And it was amazing. But only during the moment. Otherwise, it was all empty. Right now, I have someone who I love and he’s backpacking in the hills right now. He called me just a while ago cause he’ll be out of mobile network for a few days. He let me know. The minor things. The other person didn’t. My significant other is a nice guy. The guy I was seeing earlier was not. Since he never cared. And that’s the difference. I’d pick the nice guy any day.
True. But... hear me out you downvote happy people!!!
Unfortunately if you're a nice person, male or female, you're probably going to get passed over for someone deemed more "exciting," at least by the ones not worth your time or energy. We're the ones people come to after they've had their fun, slept around, or want a stable life 🙄
I remember when I was younger, I had a guy point blank tell me, "You're the type of woman a guy wants when he's ready to settle." Though he meant it as a compliment, I took it as an insult, because he basically said I was too nice for him to date.
The good news is we do eventually find someone that appreciates us! But it usually happens when: after we've been passed up, ignored, friendzoned, or hurt by the ones we want.
But we do find our happiness. It just takes time and patience... and the right person.
Yeah, both sexually and in corporate world too. Being nice really doesn't count for much in my opinion.
As far as sex/dating is concerned, I don't necessarily think women like assholery by itself I just think they tend to fall for guys who are tall, athletic, and confident and guys who are blessed in those categories are more likely to become rude/arrogant. Assholes also get more girls because they are less likely to feel bad about leading a girl on, using them for sex, etc.. Some girls get lucky and find a guy who is hot and nice or eventually settle for an average looking guy who is nice but I think it is rare that they would be the first choice. I think that for most average looking nice guys by the time they get the girl she has already hooked up with a handful of hot douches prior to meeting him. So he finishes last in the sense that sequentially he dates the girl after she has already slept with some jerks and last in the sense that realistically she is setteling for him and would have preferred it if one of the hotter guys would have committed to her instead.
Nice guys finish last, That's why I'll treat you like trash, It's not what I really wanna do. But, you only date bad guys so, I'll give it my best try to, Treat you the way you want me to.
I never open a door, or pull out a chair. You can tell me how your day was but I don't really care. And if you ever get cold, you'll just have to hack it, Cause I'd be cold too If I gave you my jacket. Like whoa, you ain't sittin up front, Front is for the homies you can sit in the trunk. I never answer my phone, Whenever you call it And when the waiter brings the bill I never reach for my wallet.
Nice guys finish last, That's why I'll treat you like trash, It's not what I really wanna do. But, you only date bad guys so, I'll give it my best try to, Treat you the way you want me to.
And Ima beat you! At every competition. Going out with the girls You better get my permission. Wait no, i take that back, you can't go, House is on tonight And that's my favorite show! Do I look fat in this dress? Hell yeah you do! Wait lemme speak your language Cows go Moo! Mooo Moooo Mooo Mooo!
Nice guys finish last, That's why I'll treat you like trash, It's not what I really wanna do. But, you only date bad guys so, I'll give it my best try to, Treat you the way you want me to.
But behind the scenes she means the world to me. Wanna tell her that she's beautiful, and show her that she's loved. Hold her hand when she's scared, tell her how much I care... But that won't win her heart because...
Nice guys finish last, That's why I'll treat you like trash, It's not what I really wanna do. But, you only date bad guys so, I'll give it my best try to, Treat you the way you want me to.
Men who don't express their true desires and aren't honest about what they want (ie sex) in dating, yes, often don't get it.
Women generally get what they deserve. I've seen so many date quite hopeless indifferent insensitive men, and remain with them. So they must get something out of it, get some enjoyment out of it. Who knows. I think so long as the man embodies 'manly' qualities, a woman will be interested, because she will make up for his lacking female qualities. But Jesus, some of these guys are really awful.
Nice guys akwaysbfinish first actually. Its walhat gets girls in trouble. A guy will act all sweet and loving, then change immediatly after a certain period.
While there are dumb girls out there falling for the obvious douches, a lot of the time these jice guysvare wolves in sheep clothing. That's why a lot of the time, we scoff at guys who say "there not like regular guys".
Guys like to always think we c hi oose assholes, when honestly, gets get screwed over by nice guys pretending to be good way more than they think, they just see the after morebtuan the before, so they make the assumtping women always knew.
Firstly different women like different things. You can't say that all women don't like nice guys or that all women only like jerks. I've met lots of women who fell for sweet guys. And lastly, I'm honestly so fucking sick and tired of seeing "nice guys finish last" on the internet. It seems like the entire world of men is complaining about it. In every competition for mates, there are gonna be winners and losers. Nobody can all win at the same time. There are attractive and unattractive people in the world. Someone is gonna win and some aren't. Its life, Deal with it.
I don't believe that is true. I don't believe you can categorize most people into good or bad. Instead you just have personality traits. People who prioritize looks over other things tend to end up with others who have similar priorities. Those who prioritize education and knowledge end up with people with similar priorities. It doesn't say anything about being good or bad, it's just whatever makes you happy.
In school this seems more real because of the popularity hierarchy that develops but after school it is no longer relevant. Those who succeed are those who get on well with others and are willing to think outside the box. These are not bad traits.
I guess that depends on how to see successful people. I think almost anyone can work to become successful and so I have great respect for those who find success. I also know plenty of people in happy relationships who are not career driven. I wouldn't describe either person as good or bad, they just have different priorities and have found happiness in different places.
False, but we have to decide what race to run in. There are some "races" that are hopelessly corrupt, thrive on it, and cannot rehabilitated. You have to choose a race that can only be fully won on merit, but also protect yourself from the hustlers who will try to exploit you. STEM is a good example where actual work and achievement is necessary. The key is then to ensure you are recognized and not anonymized by higher ups. When you work for a good talker who is a marginal producer, he or she will co-opt your work and take credit for it. You will have to learn to protect yourself from that.
Women say that they want a good man, but when they are younger than 30 most women reject good men and bounce from one sociopathic loser to another. After age 30, they look around and moan 'where did all the good men go'. They expected the type of man whom they rejected at age 20 to still be waiting around for them to pick up after they decided that they were 'ready for a good man'. It does not work that way, at least not any more. The Internet is allowing men to communicate and exchange experiences and ideas on a large scale. Every day more men become aware of female nature. Men know about the bad boy phase, the cock carousel and the Wall now. If we were not 'exciting' enough for you when you were 20, you are sure as Hell not good enough for us now. Decent men, the ones who have a job, a home, an economic future, are not drunks or drug addicts and are not abusive, are not interested in you any more. Enjoy your cats and your memories of Chad and Tyrone.
The problem is that there are certain things that girls value and certain things that guys value. When a woman finds and assertive and confident guy it's because he's finished first in his life plenty of times before. You can say this person is not nice. Sometimes I am not nice and people are of the opinion that due to me being difficult to read that I am a 'bad' guy. I have been incredibly good and incredibly bad in my life. I do finish last in relationships I feel. That speaks more to my self confidence though than anything else. That's the thing. There is no black and white in the world.
It's pretty true. The good girls aren't smart enough to pick the right guys until they are used up and have kids by other people and by the time they realize it, the good guys don't want them anymore because they don't want to take care of her drama and kids. They're fucked.
The good guys are often not smart enough to figure out they shouldn't spend money on girls until the girl starts spending money on them first. Then they get used for their money because they were too generous from the start. And if they get married they really get screwed over financially when it ends. They're fucked.
One solution? Women, don't have kids with someone until you are SURE they are the one you want to stay with. Men, don't get legally married until you have been with the right woman long enough to raise all of your kids to adulthood.
I say its false because really in the end after everything goes to shit in the relationship, its those "nice" guys and girls who the other person actually talks to. So really in the end they're coming out the winner even though they are kind of the last resort, but just because you "finish last" doesn't mean you're not winning anything.
Furthermore, if you're a guy or girl who gets butthurt about not being someones first choice then thats on you and not that person no matter if you're there for them or not obviously they're not gonna care about you being hurt because most of the time they're only thinking about themselves and why would you want to be with that kind of person.
So basically the nice guys just get the "leftovers." After the woman has slept with 10 or 20 bad boys, maybe has a few kids with them, she finally decides to look for a nice guy. Fuck that.
I didn't even say that. But if thats your experiences or how you picture it happening like that then thats your problem, all i know is that for us girls who are actually looking for nice guys but get stomped on for it by nice guys, then what are we supposed to do. Its a two way street.
There is a different between being a genuine nice guy and a "nice" guy. A genuine nice guy is self explanatory and can be the average Joe that lots of women could decide on.
A "nice" guy is too nice, he may be confident in some things but maybe a little too nice. Not enough firmness and over emotional behavior. The kind who will "try his heart out but still eont understand" type of guy, the guy who misunderstands what masculinity truly is; the list goes on.
And this definition applies to women as well (minus the masculinity comment lol).
I HATE jerks, I wouldn't be with a guy who is a jerk or so called bad boy and I never have been. I am with a nice guy, thats what I want. Someone to value me, love me, care for me, protect me and be kind to me. Someone who I know is only there for me and no other women.
Depends on luck... But from what I've seen, nice guys are not that pushy and they don't tend to ask out the girls they like... So I'd say they don't finish first most of the time... But finishing last is a bit of a stretch since there's people that never finish, so that would put them together... that's ridiculous
Not exactly. It’s all about being authentic and not fake. Both nice girls and nice guys don’t tell the truth and don’t communicate their own needs. People are attracted to other people who are honest with their feelings even if those feelings are less than altruistic. Most people actually do want their partners to be nice but they also want them to be real.
I'll try not sound sexist. But its true for most young females and untrue for males. At least from my opinion. I like a simple girl. However I understand the excitement and thrill dating someone that is that. Older woman tend to change their view on this
Because I genuinely want a good girl. There is a difference between a "nice girl" eg. a girl that is just acting nice in the moment to get something she wants, and a "good girl" eg. a girl that is genuinely a nice human being that cares about others and tries to be the best person she can be.
I want a genuinely good girl who is a true lady, but is a freak under the sheets with me lol.
I see myself as nice but that's about it. I don't see myself as an enticing or interesting person that a women would want to date. I think nice guys/girls probably have to settle for whatever is available which is probably someone who is nice like them and got passed over.
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