Is it weird that my boyfriend doesn't tell me if he goes clubbing?

[Anonymous]

at the start of our relationship, he would always let me know. Obviously I've never told him he can't go out or anything, we both go out to bars and clubbing quite a lot so it doesn't bother me that he does it too. Lately, he just hasn't told me he's going out and I find out from my friends who tell me they saw him out. Again, it's not that he goes out that bothers me because I do it too, I just make sure to let him know. Is it weird that it bothers me that he doesn't tell me anymore? How can I let him know that it bothers me without sounding controlling? I don't want him to feel like he can't go out that's not my intention at all.

[yucychan]

There are some situations that I feel out of politeness, he should at least tell e. g. such as going on a holiday overseas with his friends or family. Some situations do not have such needs such as going to get something from the convenience store, grocery shopping etc.
For me, I would prefer that if my guy goes clubbing, that he would at least tell me beforehand and when he reached home. People relax, get drunk, party, throw up, get into fights, get into accidents etc. at clubs. I just want to know that he is at least safe when he reached home.

[ashleighj]

Yeah, but he is probably trying to regain control a little, which means he probably realised how much he likes you and is trying down play his feelings by not including you in certain things so if all falls apart then it won't seem so much different, if that makes sense, or not to sound sexest, his a guy, they tend to not notice certain things and can come across to the girlfriend as deliberately mean when they were just unaware and for a lack of better word, dopey, well that's happened to me before anyway.

[coachTanthony]

--------------If you guys don't live together or spend everyday together then NO he shouldn't have to pick up the phone and tell you his whereabouts.

Nor should you on that hand. If he is lying about his whereabouts then that is another story.

[DOGMA1954]

You need to sit down with him and have a conversation about what's going on in your relationship. I dont believe your controlling, but you both need to set limits on activities with other men and women when you go out.

[MzAsh]

My question is, why are you so loyal to tell him your whereabouts? It’s not necessary for him to know. See how he responds if you stop telling him when and if you go.

[slatyb]

Yes, it seems a bit odd. That's the sort of thing that one routinely mentions in conversation with a partner.

[DiscomfortZone]

Ofc it isn't weird, he goes clubbing to hook up with other girls, why would he tell you? You can start telling me how wrong I am, what a faithful angel your boyfriend is, but under all that pretending you know it's true.

[SongBird3]

Thats a huge red flag. That implies deceit and he's got something to hide

[boggboss]

You can mention it but it will come off as controlling and knowing or not don't really effect you

[Anonymous]

He probably just feels like he doesn't have to anymore. But just talk to him and ask. Explain this all like you have here. Communication is key.

[termanator]

I don’t have a horse in this race , best of luck to you

[robocop666]

Why should he? as long as he's not dancing with women its ok

[SwankyJon]

Basically just tell him what you've said here

[Anonymous]

Aren't you a little old, to be going clubbing?

[Asker]

I'm 19 and he's 21?

[outside_Toronto]

a little weird

[Agem123]

Red flag alert.

[CoolKat21]

Red flag

[DoodleGal94]

Yes, it is.