Would you give up all social media for your partner/SO?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Social media? Or significant other?

Updates

+1 y

F

First, to clear up:
Maybe people should reread this question. No where did it say
"If your partner asked or demanded you to".
Rather if you knew it was affecting your relationship, you or them are spending more time on social media than investing that time in each other.
Second, this a general not personal question. This never affected my relationship, but then maybe cuz we weren't on social media. And if it was a personal issue, that's something I'd discuss with my partner not on the net

[Investigator]

"Social media ruins relationships everywhere, and the reason is quite obvious. Relationships begin to fall apart at that moment when communication ends. Obsession with social networks literally destroys communication between partners. Approximately every third divorce in the world is because of social media."

Gotta admit, that's some pretty sensationalist, hyperbolic alarm-ism right there.

"Relationships being to fall apart at that moment when communication ends."

Yeah, but that's been the case for literally all of human history and I'm not even being figurative about it. This article acts like this problem is a recent phenomenon and it's not; the only difference between then and now is the scope and the timescale, not the practicality. If the technology of today had existed 200 years ago, we'd have been in the same situation.

"Obsession with social networks literally destroys communication between partners."

No, it doesn't. Lack of openness destroys communication. Again, the social networks we have today are more technological and facilitate more expedient communication, but the kinds of problem modern people encounter didn't arise simply because you can hide all of your messages behind a lockscreen. Infidelity and affairs have existed since people were cognizant of their ability to do emotional harm, it's just easier because there's less setup and management involved. Everything is more automated now, that's the real difference.

"Approximately every third divorce in the world is because of social media."

The author was able to survey the entire human race--every country, ethnic demographic, region, cross-reference, analyze and adjust across ages, maturity differences, generational gaps, etc.--and conclusively state with higher-than-chance accuracy that "approximately" every third couple in the world gets divorced ONLY because of social media and for no other reason, were they? Press "F" to doubt.

Also, [citation needed].

As for myself, besides this and Reddit, I don't really use Facebook, Instagram or any of the major social media platforms. I've come to realize it's an enormous waste of time. Once you get past the "high" of attention via likes and replies, it kind of all just becomes white noise and it's not even persistent at that; if Twitter feuds and YouTube videos have taught me anything, the same crowd that claims to love you one second will tear you a new a**hole the next for the slightest transgression and I don't need that kind of drama in my life. Plus, a large part of social media is observing the daily life of people I barely know. Most people don't have more than like 4 or 5 close friends, so having a rolling list of 120... acquaintances, at some point, becomes meaningless. In that respect, quality > quantity.

[tony1970]

Honestly i really can't believe this question really came up but yes look when something overtakes your life and you push aside the things that should matter there's definitely something wrong social media is like high school every one wants to be popular everyone wants to be liked why else would people share everything on them "i farted in the tub" lol press like do i really need to know this no its private let's get real in the end when the lights are out it's just you and that one person that you neglected because you've been placing your face into media 24/7 posting every little aspect of your life which is dangerous by the way let's say a major disaster what happened God forbid do you really think all those people that follow you that you follow that you don't know you will never ever meet I'm going to come save your life help you in your time of need no it's that person laying next to you sitting next to you laughing with you through the good times and the bad that you're neglecting of course the person is going to walk away because you're showing no signs of caring they put their heart and everything they are into you and all you care about is social media yes they're going to walk away so I would drop social media 100% for the person that loves me for real on the attic note one example Facebook was originally designed and made by Mark to judge and rape female college co-eds for dating bi males did you know this and I was used to collect data information for whoever pays the right price

[lumos]

First of all, that article sounds absolutely ridiculous and none of the statements seem credible at all. I'd like to know where they got their sources/statistics from.
Second of all, no, I would not give up social media for anyone. That would be dumb. A lot of my work consists of networking/getting in contact with other people. Without any form of social media, that would be incredibly difficult and I'd shut myself out of numerous job opportunities. Not to mention that I, as a freelancer, am currently getting a part of my income from instagram through selling products/commissions, and I'd be shooting myself in the leg if I flushed all that hard work down the drain just for a partner.

Social media is not the bad guy here. We're all perfectly capable of putting down our phones and interacting with friends/family/SO's. If you have an issue with doing that and your relationships are crumbling, then the problem is you. You and only you are in charge of your own actions. Blaming social media for any lack of communication in your relationships is lazy and cowardly, and people who do that lack the ability to self-reflect. If you're addicted to social media, I'm pretty sure that going to therapy is a much healthier option than just quitting it all and pretending your issues don't exist. Because that addiction will most definitely manifest itself in some other way if you don't approach it head-on.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Again this was a general question. Social media didn't ruin my relationship. It lasted 20+years took he passed. But, maybe that's cuz we weren't on social media🤷‍♀️
But, I see a lot of people on here that are abusing, are probably addicted. One user admitted fyi turning down sex with his partner to check his GaG messages. It is breaking down communication. People need to spend more quality time with the people in their RL than virtual friends on the net.

[lumos]

I didn't mean you as in you specifically, I was talking in a general sense.

[lumos]

Also if it wasn't gag/social media, it would likely be something else. Smoking, drugs, gambling, gaming etc. People who have addictive tendencies would likely replace one addiction with another. There's always a scapegoat. But the fact of the matter is that the issue is the addiction itself, and not what the person is addicted of.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

With that we can agree

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I'm not super active on social media outside of here and don't post much about my personal life. In fact, at least 85% if not more of my social media is just cute pictures and videos of my pets or shared photos and videos of cute animals. I've kept in touch with some people on Messenger.

So, I don't think I'd need to, personally.

If my partner asked me to, I would think that was a very odd request, and it was likely he didn't trust me, which is a big issue.

[Cynicaldreamer]

I barely use it now, so sure!

Not all of us are glued to social media, so if the right person came along, it wouldn't phase me. However, the same goes with him: if I'm not using it, he better not use it either.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree 100%

[coachTanthony]

------------Social media is part of my business life so that would be a big fat NO.

[Unit1]

You monetize social media? How?

[coachTanthony]

@Unit1 By being seen. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook all point to my business. That is how I mostly get business is through social media outlets.

[Unit1]

I see.
Are you doing network marketing by any chances? Or have you considered network marketing at some point?

[coachTanthony]

@Unit1 I do collabs with other dating coaches, I do podcasts, I work with other influencers in my field to pimp their stuff and they in return pimp mine. So networking in that way sure but not the networking you are thinking of I don't think.

[Unit1]

Not exactly what i meant. Do you know what *network marketing* is? I heard financially successful people got into it but it requires real devotion over 5 years in order to pay off. If that's the case, it will be a solid addition to my assets.

I've been thinking about the simple rich dad/poor dad concept of assets vs liabilities (I'm not sure why people need a whole book to explain that simple concept). Eventually i plan to become Rich.

[coachTanthony]

@Unit1 Yes it's nothing I am interested in. I see it as a ponzi scheme to be honest.

[roland77]

A valid reason, she should tolerate you then. But please, as you do, I guess, give her time, too. I can recommend a small town in Denmark for a disconnected life (relaxing): Houstrup.

[sejla]

Kind of hard because that's how I get notifications for concert tours.

[shimmeryns]

Yes without a doubt -- especially when I am married to him.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

It's very simple: either you use social media as a tool, or it makes a tool of you. That said, I think phones/ social media apps should be switched off during quality time spent with partner. But if I'm on my own time, and I wanna check in on one of my business groups on Facebook, then I see no harm. I came into social media reluctantly, right on the tail end of Myspace's supremacy. I adopted it, I wasn't born into it like the youth of today. So I think my disposition and upbringing tilt be towards being more responsible in how I use social media. I just don't need a lot of social approval and vanity points. I'd rather come to platforms like GaG or Reddit and get into deeper conversations about topics that actually interest me.

[Peanut127]

It depends if abused or not. Bc yea, some use to advertise. Some use for medical illness support groups. Some use bc their family is located all over the map.

Personally? I only have family. Friends of fam or people with same disorder I do. :) G@G is little more risky lol great to learn things but some weird msgs now and then :p

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well said. And hear you on the weird messenges, specially if God forbid you answer a sexuality question..

[Peanut127]

Lmao, YES! Or it's like *thinking* "shud I change my picture to my dogs ass so they don't bug me?" rofl

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lol but if the dogs are cute, that might not stop them lol animal fetish is real😂😂😂

[Peanut127]

HAAAAA, I'd love a big animal lover like me but uhh, dude? Stay on ur leash and get off my lawn :p

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

😂😂😂that's funny shit😁😂🤣

[Inexpensivefurniture]

No. Not because I can't live without it, I hardly ever use it and I'm only on one site, but because the second someone tells me something along the lines of "If you loved me, you'd do this for me" or "It's me or [literally anything], choose!" I'm gone. If their love relies on manipulation ("prove to me you love me by doing this"), or can be made into part of an ultimatum ("It's either me, or social media, pick one"), than I don't want their love.
If you have genuine concerns or problems with something I'm doing, please tell me and we'll talk about how to resolve the situation. But if you just come up to me one day and say something like "either you stop reading when I want us to hang out or I'm leaving" I'll wave as you walk out.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No where in this question did it say" if they told you too" it asked lf you would? Should you invest more time in your relationships and less on social media? This was a general question based on what is happening nowadays.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I probably wouldn't give it up entirely because it's how I stay in contact with some friends and family. But if it was effecting my relationship I would make changes to how I use it so that my relationship didn't suffer.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If you read question and update, this isn't "someone" telling you anything. Is when you realize you're putting more importance, or your partner is, on social media than they are the relationship. Geesh can people even read anymore...🤷‍♀️

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oops sorry that comment was meant for someone else, sorry

[COMMODOREII]

Tbh im thinking of reducing it and giving it up once i get out on my own. And maybe only come on a cpl of times a week. I found that being on social media too often is signs of loneliness and can lead to disorders of depression and needing companionship. So im thinking of joining a physical group of friends to hang with.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Your're so right. As much as enjoy bantering with you lol and some of the great convo I've had on here, I think it makes me more lonely for IRL people/ real connections. When hubby was alive, neither of us was on any social media, we were both old fashioned that way. I'm still really that way. This and Skype is only social sites on, and don't Skype with many people.

[COMMODOREII]

You have skype? Lol cool. In fact I'd rather banter with you irl over a board game of monopoly and either tea or beer whichever you would like. 😄

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Whiskey lol

[COMMODOREII]

Oooo whiskey shots. Yeah. Card games or drinking games. Lol

[COMMODOREII]

And the other lady that was bantering with us too would be great too. Lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Shot poker anyone?😂

[COMMODOREII]

Yeah 😂😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Careful now I'm the champ at that lol last person played shot poker with lost and puked😂

[COMMODOREII]

Im game. I can us having lots of fun. Lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Cool lol

[COMMODOREII]

Besides if i pass out i can trust to be safe on your couch. Lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah you can. Lol I won't take advantage of you lmao

[COMMODOREII]

Hmmmm possibilities eh? 😜😎

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lmao😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

https://youtu.be/F1lJFlB-89Q

[COMMODOREII]

😂😂 you know you love me.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Of course😂🤣

[bente2]

Nah. I don’t believe social media is to blame, I think the lack of good communication is to blame. If someone’s constantly on social media, I wouldn’t want to be with them anyways. If they started using it a lot as we’re dating, I would just ask them to use it less or at other times. If they can’t do that we breakup.

[l_michelle]

Hell yes I would! It's fucking ridiculous that people are so worried about what all these people they don't even know are doing when there is a family right on front of their face everyday. I cannot stand Instagram/Instaslut either. Fuck social media!

[avery58]

Nice to see someone with common sense

[marrk]

He would never ask this of me, but if we did decide to do this, we would keep whatsapp so that we can communicate with each other and my family since the app is free across countries :)
I honestly would not miss social media and I think he would be ok too
We would just use my instax 🤗

[VenusSweets]

I would not give it up entirely since I use it to talk to my two best friends along with others, read comics, and look at art. Which usually takes 40 minutes of my day at most and this is not everyday. So if I decided I wanted a partner and they were bothered about it that much time the point of them wanting to leave then, sayonara :)

[roland77]

The picture shows what sadly is often reality, I see those young couples each day I travel by public transportation. Sure, this doesn't mean something but it is a general feeling towards it.

And yes, I would give up my Online life towards real life. I did it before and she didn't appreciate it in me. My new girlfriend does however.

[Unit1]

Very funny that you ask this question. I have no social media nor a girlfriend. Girls stop talking to me when they ask me for my instagram profile only so that i tell them that i don't have social media 🤔🤨😒😒😒

you know what Mrs. Brains over beauty? Just give me some cougars. These girls have some growing up to do 😆

[roland77]

Sad to see that "norm", that you must have Instagram, Facebook, Xing and so on. I give nothing on such people, including employers and friends. If they don't like me because I'm not on said networks, I say good-bye because they don't want me as a human at all.

[Unit1]

@roland77 agreed. Humanity has degraded. I still remember the times before this cancer called social media existed.

[maddog998]

Sadly I gave up my snapchat for my boyfriend and now everyday I'm losing my fucking mind, cause he is never home and im home trying to have a damn chat with my 2 year old daughter

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah 2 year olds don't make the best conversationalists lol

[Jjpayne]

I'd say setting rules and boundaries for social media is the fair alternative but I agree with the article

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That good. Shows your willingness to compromise

[ImagineSketchy]

I wouldn't. Social media doesn't rule my life and it never will. Those that have to give it up can't disconnect from it at will. I have never found it difficult to just put it down.
I use social media for rather specific purposes though.

[Reaperbot666]

since I rarely use it. and when I do pretty much only to check to see how family / friends are doing. or to let them know I am still alive.

sure I could / would give it up

[Snakeyes7]

Honestly screw social media. That is where the people you know reveal how much of a moron they really are. People say the dumbest shit and think they are the smartest in the world.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Isn't that the truth lol

[Aussie_Bobby]

I totally agree with you on the question as from personal experience, I had a partner who when we meet she hated computers I taught her basic dos and early windows NT and how to rebuild and repair them , by the time we ended she was online up to 15 straight while I worked 12 hrs a day min and that and the world of Warcraft game to where it affected not just our relationship but out kids as well.
So yea I would drop all mobile and internet bring back snail mail and home phones