You may have a best friend, or partner, who is an exception. But if you look in totality, now or throughout your lifetime, do you feel more comfortable expressing all/many parts of yourself to your same sex, or the opposite sex?
Who do you feel more often accepted, appreciated, supported, or understood by?
And did you start out feeling one way, but now feel you have been wronged too many times, or too deeply, and that has altered your trust in them, away from your natural inclination? (I suspect many of you fall into this thinking. I've heard many of you speak on this. But don't let that influence you.)Photo by: Mosuno Stocksy UnitedDirty DancingChehon Wespi-Tschopp, September Danse 2010, Barbe
I feel I can express myself more, or am more accepted, appreciated, supported, or understood by my same sex.
I feel I can express myself more, or am more accepted, appreciated, supported, or understood by the opposite sex.
It's equal, or falls randomly, depending on who is in my life.
I don't feel accepted, appreciated, supported, or understood by anyone, honestly.
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Do you find you can express yourself more fully around your same sex, or the opposite sex?
Opposite sex, but only slightly. It is rather hard to have a conversation with men that integrates intellectual and emotional aspects. I have such male friends, but they are hard to find. Probably our gender is still too deeply stuck in an ancient role-model. On the other hand: Yes, I have been cheated on and become rather disenchanted about the longevity of human relationships. Or rather about my own relationships, because of course it takes two to tango and my own volatility is probably a deal-breaker for many women. That very volatility is something I have to consciously manage all the time, trying to push my inner state back into temperate regions. Just letting "flow" freely may lead me to catastrophic states and thus my expression often is filtered by some intellectual distrust towards the dependability of my own emotions.
As a guy who loves making few deep connections with people rather than many shallow ones, girls seem to like and accept that much more than guys do, I can tell them anything and they wouldn't feel awkward or weirded out like guys would.
Guys. I don't know why but it's much easier for me to trust, be myself, and open around guys more than women.
Which is ironic considering my luck dating: I have NO issues befriending practical any guy. But dating? Lol, terrible. I guess I have a masculine aura? Who knows, lol
Women? I've just had so many poor experiences with women, especially confiding secrets or going to them for help. Not to mention how catty most (not all) of them tend to be... they'll smile in your face, and talk about you behind your back. I cannot stand that nonsense.
I'd say it can go either way for me.. I feel I can express myself better to those that whether agree or disagree, still try to understand where you're coming from. People I don't have to filter what I say... I've had male friends I would discuss things with over women because they got me better and two females friends that got me/understand me better than anyone in my family ever did with the exception of my one niece...
The opposite sex. I'm not sure why, but my personality tends to click better with guys. It seems like our sense of humor is more aligned, our conversations are more enjoyable, and most of the time, guys like to goof off and be silly more so than girls, which I also like to do! They generally seem more laid back.
I've also unfortunately had issues in the past with quite a few girls becoming jealous or seeing me as competition, which I always hated. It was more common as a teenager, but I find that it still happens. With men, I don't have to worry about this (though I've actually had a couple of men get weirdly jealous and competitive in a way that could give any girl a run for her money, lol!).
Of course, I have a pretty equal mix of both female and male friends, and get along great with both. I just find that on average, men are easiest to talk to.
I definitely feel like I connect easier and can strike up conversation with women. But I think that has more to do with my personal interests level and willingness to put in whatever effort is needed to create that connection.
As far as expressing myself goes itās the same level with both genders. Iām trying to get to the point where Iām uninhibited by the thought of being judged or looked at weird by strangers for being me. Iām not like a lot of people. I donāt think Iāve met another person who was exactly like me but lately Iāve wondered what if thatās how true individuality looks. Indistinguishable.
I was watched My Crazy Obsession last night and some of the people had āweirdā interests that didnāt necessarily harm them but just drew in judgement. But these people looked genuinely āhappyā. They werenāt doing drugs, drinking their brains out or trying to fill any emotional gaps with sex of intimacy. Their happiness was coming from a source from within and became a physical expression āthey createdā. It was admirable.
What if true happiness comes when an individual discovers a way to express themselves without any restraints? If can be singing, artwork or maybe some hobby. And what if that expression is meant to be specific to the individual and indistinguishable from another's?
Itās a mouthful I know and maybe too in depth but I feel like true self expression vital. Iām able to express myself maybe up to 85% around strangers male or female. I still sing with my windows rolled up in traffic but I used to be too self aware to do even that. But one day those windows will be down and Iāll be metaphorically naked, singing and letting the world know that I exist.
I have had a lot of knocks in my lifetime.. I realise that good friends weren't good friends. I also learned some weren't really seeing me and were applying their values on to me. So the things they said to me weren't exactly the prettiest or encouraging. I was always kind and I would say that I loved my friends. I don't think they loved me. People don't really talk about friendship love, and I really think they should.
Anyways I'm learning that I am better at leading a life independently thinking for myself, until I can find people that love and want the best for me. We all make mistakes and that is really what people need to be mindful of. (me included) Bumping into an old friend reminded me of this. I wasn't rude back to her, I just wished her well and congratulated her on her life.
She seemed shocked with how I ended the conversation. Maybe I misinterpreted her behaviour but the exchange didn't make me want to pursue things. So as an example this is why I don't share much with others regardless of gender. It's not that I'm not ambitious I just want to live and enjoy my life whilst I'm young enough to really enjoy it instead of wasting my years becoming the best in my career to get to 60 and can only mostly brag about how great I was.
When I was 14 I almost took my life. Everyone saw me and thought I had it all, I go to Tahati every winter for awhile, mom has a beach house there, I surf and swim, am reasonably appealing and endowed. So at 14 I was a sensitive, sex toy, male friends got mad cause we couldnt even go anywhere, girls were useing me up. So, no, I didn't have it all, screwed a lot. But went home all alone. My entire life was like a porno movie, maybe not quite as graphic, with so much games on me and I just decided to take my life. You think im exaggerating but it was worse than is here. at 16 I got a short job, poseing for a cologne ad in LA, unimaginable outcome, but boys, gay men. I left in a week and flew home. Another downward spirel. Then I was introduced to 2 girls who understood what a hell I lived, and they took charge, they changed my life, I couldnt say to a male what was happening then but the opposite sex turned me around. Im soon to be in pre med and want to work with cripple children, those 2 friends gave me my life.
Tbh, as an introvert, I find it really hard to express myself to anyone, and I can only have deep conversations only with people I really trust and know. I find it easier to express myself with a female friend, rather than a male. One reason, I grew up fat and the boys never let me play with them, they always told me next game, next game, and eventually I stopped going to the places the boys gathered to play. Luckily, my neighborhood had several girls, and once I was sitting in our yard, and the neighbors daughter called me to play with them, and they never shunned me for being fat. I really loved spending time with them. They'd always come to my home to call me when they'd play. I knew all kinds of "secrets" they had. The boys never accepted me for who I was. Eventually, the neighbors daughter became my best friend and I used to tell her everything and she was very empathetic. All kinds of problems, good things, secrets, wishes. I'd never been able to have a similar relationship with a boy. Boys tend to make fun of other boys for various reasons. On one occasion, I was asked if I had a girlfriend, and I replied that my neighbor was my girlfriend. They laughed at me for some reason. Eventually she really became my first girlfriend, and we were together for years. The relationship was one of the best times of my life. I could express myself even better. We broke up, and now we're just "friends", and we rarely see each other. I have a best friend, and he is a guy, but I can never trust a guy enough to express something I'm insecure about. I miss having someone to rely on when something is just weighing on me. I hope I meet someone I can trust that much again.
I don't feel that gender affects how well I can express myself. I will say that I think in gendered situations, I might feel more comfortable expressing certain aspects of myself that might be considered more "masculine" or "feminine". But then again, I don't think that is significant: I would be more comfortable expressing my passion about martial arts with fellow martial artists, and more comfortable expressing my passion for food with fellow foodies. Not to say I don't chat food with martial artists or marital arts with foodies, but the connection and the conversation tend toward certain subjects. That's how I feel about gender, it may cause my expression to be leaning somewhat in one direction or another, but not to the point any specific thing is verboten and I feel comfortable more based on the individual personality than their gender.
D, personally. I don't understand humans. Though, my next choice is A. I can be open and honest around men. But women get offended over every f*ckin thing! Like, EVERYTHING is f*cking offensive to women, nowadays. I don't even like holding conversations with most women (outside of work or business related stuff) because they're likely to get offended over some small petty stupid BS. I never have this problem with men whatsoever. Not even the "what if it's all you and men just don't tell you it" possibility either, because at least half of the men I ever knew were even more supposedly "offensive" than I ever were. I can only be honest around like, 10-20% of women, at best. The rest are just too damn sensitive.
I voted A. I love chatting with women but I have to tone it down and watch my P's and Q's. I mostly like hearing what they have to say. When I'm around uninhibited women who are on the same page, it's different. They can be a kick in the head.
When I'm around guys, I generally feel more free to express myself without a filter. They are tougher and less easily offended or intimidated. Plus it's easier to slap a guy on the back, squeeze his collar or give him a bro hug, and tell him how you feel without worrying about appearing sexual or creepy.
For me i think it depends on the subject. What might inspire and resonate with one of my male friends might be a completely boring no go subject for a female friend. I always try to engage with a person depending on what they like and what they have experienced in life. So really I suppose it depends on the subject and what kind of support or reaction you are looking for really.
Yes I'm very familiar with the mother-daughter team of Myers-Briggs and their personality typing (based on Carl Jung's work.) I first discovered it 25 years ago and know it well. I have tested many people and found it for the most part to be very accurate (though some people do fall close to 50% on some components.) I think it helps to add some structure to one's personality and makes things feel less chaotic.
I do like chatting with women more. There's more open-mindedness, playfulness and emotional range. Plus I like flirting with women, so I like that danger and fun. On the negative side, women, or all people, can be too politically correct, judgy or gossip, too much.
I have always felt more comfortable hanging out and being myself with guys. Women are, well, women. They try to make the other women feel intimidated. They can act like your friend while talking mad shit behind your back. Or they could be what they're very good at... Being fake.
Honestly, i have WAY more girl friends than guys (I don't know i just do), but what i've noticed is that even tho i can open up to girls better, the guys seem to be better at just constant emotional support surprisingly enuff. But then again, it also depends on the person and how close we are. It really does vary.
"... even tho i can open up to girls better, the guys seem to be better at just constant emotional support surprisingly enuff." Hmm. Interesting. Not sure what to make of that.
Opposite sex. Always have felt more comfortable, theyāre less judgmental and lets face it, women are competitive in so many ways. It takes me a long time to trust both sexes but women more so. I think women are better for the emotional support... some men freak out too much when tears start flowing
I think over the years I firstly found women to actively converse with women about some of my secrets Of late I had 2 good male mates and found myself telling My new friends array of different parts of my life but on all these occasions I still have many more secrets that I will take to my grave So in conclusion I don't think it matters whether you talk to a male or female Empathy is the key
Definitely more accepted from my same sex. I make guy friends very easy. I open up to them pretty quick and easy to crack jokes about them, etc. Women are far more complicated. I feel that I have to graduate into their friends circle. They speak to me differently. Not sure if itās because of intimidation or what. I donāt feel that pressure with guys.
Definitely other women for sure. I just generally feel more comfortable around other women, they seem I don't know, more approachable or something. And there much less likely to have an alternative motive or get the wrong idea. Whenever I go to volunteer somewhere or go for a job interview I always hope it's a women.
I feel more comfortable around guys than girls. Girls are too judgmental, hypocritical and fake. Whatever youāre doing around them or telling them, theyāve probably done themselves yet still use it against you as gossip or blackmail. Another thing is you canāt have a conversation with some women without it being about talking bad about someone, gossip etc. Thereās only 1 girl I honestly trust and enjoy as a person.
Guyās can do the same sometimes, but most guys are more realistic, normal, not so uptight and fake. Also my sense of humor is more better understood around guys anyway and I find that they can actually carry fun conversations better than most women. a bonus: guys are actually funny.
The opposite sex, mostly. I do have women who understand me, but most of my life it's been boys/men who have understood me and accepted me more. My brothers and I mesh so much better than my sister and I, and I've always gotten along better with my dad than my mom. When I walk into a room of unfamiliar people, I am much more comfortable talking and being myself if they are all or majority male rather than all or majority female; a female group is a lot harder for me to find a place for myself in than a group of males. I just feel more at home around boys. I can be who I want to be, and they just let me.
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