Ladies are you cool with your significant other having female friends?

[Elocin614]

There is no black and white answer as it depends on the people, and Really it comes down to trust, and confidence. Both are equally important, and in a relationship both are a two way street with caveats. I was in a relationship where I was extremely uncomfortable with my guy having female friends. Mind you, he would lie to me a lot, tell me one thing and paint a whole different picture to the other female. He left his Facebook open on his lap top once before he went to work, and started messaging me about my arrangements of my business trip out of town, while simultaneously making plans with a female "friend". After talking to this female friend after my relationship with this guy was over I learned that they really were just friends, but he was lying to her trying to get something more going, and lying to me. I will fully admit I have struggled with jealousy, but would NEVER show it unless I had proof (I hate looking stupid more). This is important because in my interactions in this relationship was it my lack of confidence causing me to be uncool, or was it the type of trust that was being built? In this relationship it was his gaslighting, and trust damaging behavior that made me uncool with him and female friends because he kept crossing the boundaries of friendship, and lying about it. However, flip side. I am married now, and I have had jealousy issues with my husband having female friends, and when I sat down and looked at the bigger picture that all came down to my own confidence issues with past relationships. My Husband, even from the point of dating has made mistakes, but has always made it a point in building a trust with me, and I him. So much so that I was able to identify that me being uncool early on have nothing to do with my trust in him, and everything to do with my confidence. Where as in the other relationship it had everything to do with the trust in him which in turn damaged my confidence.

So... long and short, it is a balance and based on a persons content of character. Sometimes you can be cool with them having female friends because they have given you every reason to be, and sometimes its ok to not be cool because they have given you every reason to be. I suppose the greater issue is the balance in being honest with yourself and knowing when to point the finger at you vs point the finger at someone else.

[glamz091506]

My hubs and I have friends of the opposite gender, and majority of them are platonic. Though there are a handful of those whom are single and we don't personally know - but those friends are generally more so "acquaintances."

Would you want to meet them and get to know them as well? - If they're ones who spend quite a good amount of time with my hubs due to work - yeah, I'd like to know her a bit (especially if she's single)

Would you allow them to hangout without you (but others are there so its a group but without you) - I trust my hubs enough to believe that he knows our boundaries and that our marriage is sacred to where he wouldn't wish to eff things up.

Would you allow her to call him for advice etc? Ehhhhh... If it's constantly, nah. If it's a one time thing sure. And it better not be sex related.

How far can they go before you feel uncomfortable and need to talk to him about it? If I feel that he is acting suspicious, if the body language, texts and calls get flirty for my liking - I'd sit him down.

[HeyMikeyLikesIt]

I have several good girlfriends who are platonic, and they are good looking and cool to hang out with but none of that matters to me, if I’m with someone I trust them, if I don’t trust them, I won’t be with them, period. I’m not worried about her having guy friends, even though I know what most of them are there for. Not all guys are pieces of shit, and not all women are home wreckers.

[jennifer_bloom]

I was jealous of my ex boyfriend’s best friend because she was prettier and smarter and better at conversation than me and I felt like I was his second choice but I allowed them be that close cause he had very few friends and I did not want to rob him of somebody who had helped him in so many ways.

[DestinyElizabeth04]

Would you want to meet them and get to know them as well?
Yes, absolutely. The only time I have a problem with my boyfriend having female friends is when those females are shady and won't met me for whatever reason. When my boyfriend and I first got together he was friends with these two girls, Jordan and Lauren. Both of them refused to meet me and before knowing a thing about me they already held an opinion. I found out later on that Jordan was in love with my boyfriend and hated me because I was with him. Where Lauren was her best friend, she hated me too. It was pathetic and childish.

Would you allow them to hangout without you (but others are there so its a group but without you)?
Again, if they were willing to meet me, than yes. I wouldn't have a problem with hil hanging out with them without me present.

Would you allow her to call him for advice etc? This is a tough one. I want to say I wouldn't have a problem with it but it also depends on other variables. What exactly was he asking her advice about? If it had to do with problems he was having with me, I would probably be offended UNLESS he spoke to me about it first and tried working through it without the added input of another woman.

How far can they go before you feel uncomfortable and need to talk to him about it?
If they are literally texting and calling eachother everyday, all day, I will definitely have a problem with it and would feel obligated to bring it up as soon as it became a problem. That's just a line you do not cross, in my eyes. There is no need for you to be speaking to another women throughout all your awake hours when you have a partner whom you are basically setting aside to do so. It boils down to respect.

[MissRomantic]

Nope, but at most I think he could be friends with a girl who is already in a relationship or someone he already met before dating me but it can’t be close friends or if they were childhood friends and I’m confident my partner won’t be romantically attracted to them, then yes. Like I would feel uncomfortable with my partner texting or hanging with another girl on a regular basis as often as with me or more. It would make me really insecure if my partner’s female friend was as attractive as me or more. It’s better for guys and girls to stick to being close with friends of the same sex and be happy with the person their with as their only lover and best friend of the opposite sex.

[DizzyDesii]

—Cool with it? Only if they were friends before we met... and i do mean only friends... no exes/excrushes/friends with benefits
—Meet them? Yes
—Allow him to hang? Well i can't really “allow” him to do anything but hopefully he's not dumb enough to want to hang with them alone... if im not around, hopefully they have other friends hanging with them
—Call him for advice? Sure but hopefully its in the daytime and not late at night
—how far? If it looks flirty in person or over text, i’ll call them out on it

[Elsa143]

If she's not attractive then I'm okay with it.
But still I won't tolerate it if they hug, touch often or flirt once in a while.
He shouldn't have more than 2 female friends. Maximum allowed is 5.
If they're behaving like friends then I have no problem.
But sadly It's impossible to trust anyone nowadays.

[katiebaby44_]

Hell no, unless they already knew each other for a significant amount of time before I met my boyfriend. I would love to get to know them. I wouldn’t like him hanging out with her, even in a group, but I likely wouldn’t say anything about it. Advice would depend on the situation. Relationship problems? No way. Job recommendations, buying a new car, opinion on a new product she bought he’s interested in getting for himself? Sure.
My boyfriend has this friend group that he went to hang out with one night. He thought it was going to be more people, but it ended up just being one other guy and this girl. They all got drunk together and when to her house until like 2am. It made me angry bc wtf you doing at another girl’s house that late? To this day he doesn’t give a shit that it upset me but it still makes me mad to this day. He also went alone to help her move A BED into her new place. Yeah, like that’s not sketchy. UGH.

[Screenwriter]

If you trust your partner, a woman friend is just as trustworthy as a male friend.
She does NOT have to be in a relationship. All she has to be is respectful of YOUR relationship.
Women who are friends with men are usually friends with men they are not sexually attracted to. They're like brother/sister. To suspect more than that is a waste of your time and energy.
It's pointless to be jealous. Be friends with his friends unless they're OBNOXIOUS, no matter WHAT SEX. Variety is the spice of life. Women friends are a boon for a man. They give him an insight into his own relationship he cannot get from men friends.

[menina]

I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend had female friends. I would like to meet them and get to know them, he could go out with them as long as he tells me. They could also call him to ask for advice.
If he was hanging out without telling me or if he was going to their place late at night, it would make me uncomfortable and I would talk to him.

[123lucy]

I am definitely cool with it, I would also want to meet them too. I am bisexual so the idea of not allowing opposite sex friends doesn't make sense to me because by that kind of logic I should have basically no friends as I'm not only attracted to the opposite sex.

[KeiaYamada]

Yeah, why wouldn't I? Makes no difference whatever gender their friends are. If you worry about their behaviour just because they're around someone of the opposite sex, then you clearly don't trust them.

[Alpha09]

Depends on the nature of the friendship. If they have known each other for a time and have a good platonic relationship I think that's healthy, as well as attractive because that could be a sign women are comfortable around him. However if it's some random acquaintance that is constantly texting him and trying to hangout alone without meeting me then that's a red flag. It really just depends on our relationship and thiers.

[HollyF]

Of course. It's not my business who my partner spends free time with provided they don't do anything inappropriate. If you don't trust the person you're with then why are you even with them?

[sk2020]

Most of the guys I dated didn't have female friends, they were almost all kinda socially awkward towards girls and admired them from afar kind of teenage boys (I'm 19, so fresh outta HS not even two years ago)

[Alyssa11]

If my partner has female friends then they are not his friends, they are OUR friends. We hang out and talk with me. Listen to this:


https://youtu.be/b5Q4KG1ZtVg

[heatherlou]

Go for it, please.
They'll probably help you understand me.

[iseekpinetrees]

Yup I'm fine with it. I find it funny more than anything.

[Anonymous]

It’s unavoidable but I always am wary of his female friends because the last ones of my ex were snakes (I mean so was my ex but still)

so far as long as they know about boundaries

[psychoticanimaIIover]

Of course. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where gender matters in the slightest.

[Siren777]

Yeah why not especially since i have 1 female friend and the rest are males so I think it's only fair. Besides if you can't trust him, why are you with him?

[ct1243]

It depends on who these friends are ; hopefully not exes. I see no issues.

[SamtheDnDgirl]

Of course, they're his friends and I should also get to know them.

[charmuseee]

I would BUT I also wanna meet his female friends too ofc and as long as the his female friends doesn’t flirt with my man

[Anonymous]

Nope. I am lucky he doesn’t want any but I’m not a hypocrite because I don’t have boy’s numbers or meet with boys either.

[collie22]

sure that's really a good thing... chill with them call them

[Minahh]

Not really but like if he has some really good ones for a long time then I wouldn't mind I guess.

[lovedejj_xo]

My boyfriend struggles with boundaries so I’m not a fan.

[Talea]

Yes.

I trust him. His best friend is single female and they hang out sometimes, never bothered me.

[MariaAveMariaaaaa]

yes as long as their not flirting and he introduces those girls to me. i mean as long as he's not hiding those girls from me

[Kas19]

Absolutey. My friends are his, and his friends are mine. It doesn't bother me one bit. Most like me! Some of them don't.

[Jayla2000]

He does, and I'm fine with it.

[IveGotNoName]

Yea, that's his business

[Alexa703]

Sure If I didn’t trust her I wouldn’t be with her.

[sheikalana]

I’m okay with it.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Cool but wary

[Sia_nee]

It's cool.

[Kelly6]

Fine with it

[Agape93]

Yeah it’s no issue

[Iron_Man]

I wouldn’t like it