I joke around with him all the time and call him dumb, old, nerdy etc and he calls me names back but all in good fun. Then one day I call him a little brat and he says "can you take it back" and I thought he was kidding but he kept asking me to take it back so I did. Then today it slipped out and I called him a brat again and he said "can you take it back" so I said in I guess a condescending baby voice "ok I'll take it back" but I was still joking around thinking he was, and he gets really sensitive and pissy... like wtf. I don't understand why that pisses him off so much, and I asked if that's what someone else used to call him and he said no so I don't understand.
My boyfriend when I call him that:me:I mean obviously I'm definitely not gonna call him a brat anymore.
Did you mean army brat, like brat word play like that? If so, make sure he knows that. If not, every one responds differently. Being called a brat, as a spoiled brat, really needs to be, treated very carefully. Some people could playfully enjoy that but others might have a bad history with that and it could be more offensive to them to be called that
I think he has some issues about the term, and I'd advise to avoid calling him that. It seems to be something of an open nerve for him. I feel similar with the nickname ''big boy'' because I'm actually very small, and both my fiancée and cooperative girl kept calling me that, driving me mad.
I agree. The name calling is inappropriate. However, your partner in life should be the one person who can openly tell you if your behaviour is uncalled for. Again, there is a big difference between calling your behaviour bratty, and calling you a brat. 🤔
@Poppykate The name calling might be something inappropriate in your personal relationship, but it has never been for us. He calls me names on a regular and we joke about it, it's only this name specifically that bothers him which is why I asked this question, because he wasn't giving me a reason why this one bothered him.
I think has some sort of trauma. He doesn't get offended when you call him other names, but this word affects him deeply. I guess he doesn't want to tell you what really happened.
It probably does relate to something from his past that he is not ready to discuss with you. I would make a note to not call him that again but, otherwise, just let it go.
I have no idea why and it really doesn't matter as long as you can try to avoid it. I understand that you are just playing around and that word might not bother anyone else but it does bother him for some reason.
I have experienced that too. I will joke around without thinking about it and say something innocuous but it has a different impact on her so I have to try to remember not to say it. I am not always perfect about remembering though
That word hasn't the same meaning in your generation and his. Now a brat is often considered part of a kink, while in his time, it was considered as an insult toward a kid, or at least a pejorative way to call a kid.
You'd be pissed if I called you a whore or an idiot, not because you are, but because it's an insult to you. He will understand, in time and thanks to you, that all those things haven't the same meaning today. It's just a generational misunderstanding.
I definitely think it is because of something back in his childhood, maybe his parents, or other siblings; or maybe he said it to someone and they got real aggressive.
Something in the back of his mind is feeling great pain over it.
Like I said, we both call each other names in good fun, we're never angry. He calls me spoiled and dumb, and I call him a brat and dumb. But for some reason I can call him anything except brat and i didn't know that until i figured it out on my own. Do you even read asswipe?
Probably because you told me to do something I already said I was going to do. Which means you didn't read my full post before sharing your very unhelpful opinion.
@lanadelrey25 I was just playing with you i thought we was cool enough for me to do that i guess i was wrong. It wasn't that serious but its whatever at least now i know
@lanadelrey25 I was just playing with you i thought we was cool enough for me to do that i guess i was wrong. It wasn't that serious but its whatever at least now i know @Coulis Thanks i really appreciate that
@Coulis No one asked you. This is something that's bothering me and I specifically typed "I mean obviously I'm definitely not gonna call him a brat anymore. " You wanna know what's really not wise? Repeating what someone said they would already do. I asked for advice, not a repeat of my words out of sarcasm.
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