Hurt because my boyfriend got super mad at me... am I overreacting?

[LoveLana7]

So it’s super late and my boyfriend left out a bowl of soup for me to microwave and left the spoon in it. Being exhausted, I put the bowl in the microwave without removing the spoon—a really stupid error, yes, I know. The soup was nearly covering the spoon so I didn’t notice it. Obviously there were popping noises when I started the microwave and my boyfriend jumped up in a rage and started really yelling at me. I apologized profusely, telling him that I was tired and made a stupid mistake and I was so sorry. He just glared at me with SUCH a disgusted look on his face and then stormed off to bed. It really hurt me and now I’m in tears. Am I overreacting? Is this kind of anger a red flag?

[btbc92]

That anger is a red flag and he didn't bother to apologize. This is why you don't shack up before marriage and having premarital sex if there is in this relationship. What you did was dangerous and he has the right to be upset. But not to that degree that you're describing. I think it's clear that you two not see each other anymore. If he cannot forgive you and the microwave is broken, see if you can try to help replace it, and please find another place to live if this is not your home. That is abusive. To the point of tears? No way. That is again, abusive. Time to move on. Start making calls, see if you can get a place to go by tomorrow morning or afternoon, and start getting out. It's over.

[LoveLana7]

I agree, he had a right to be upset but I think he could have handled it better. the microwave isn’t broken or anything, really nothing happened because I was right there and stopped it immediately. But you don’t think this is something that can be worked out?

[btbc92]

If he isn't willing to forgive you. No. His anger disturbs me. He sounds like he hates you or thinks of you as a burden than loves. As much as I can get angry and trust me, I do get angry fast. I know when to let go too unless I have a reason to hold on to that anger. But it is not healthy. He needs to forgive you. If you are crying and he doesn't seem to care, you got a guy who doesn't love you and probably is only with you for selfish reasons. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. It sounds very abusive. It's clear that there is a lot more that goes on in that relationship that your not aware of that is abusive.

[LoveLana7]

Well I don’t think he knows I’m crying since he just stormed off. It’s possible he stormed off to cool down. But it scares me he got so angry in the first place. He’s never done that and I’ve known him for 2 years

[btbc92]

My guess is that the real him is finally showing. He probably is aware he just doesn't know how to handle it. Again, if he is not calm and forgives, think about if you want to stay in this kind of relationship. Don't be with somebody who doesn't make you feel safe.

[Prettygurl12]

I seem to be in the minority here but... I don't think he was being too aggressive. You should have known not to put the spoon in the microwave. I understand it was an honest mistake, but I also understand that this man was asleep before he was awakened by his microwave likely being destroyed.

I think his reaction was partly the adrenaline from being startled awake and partly annoyance at now having to repair the microwave.

If this was an isolated incident I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[Laciandmaci]

I agree fully with you, I couldn't say it better!

[Blyat76]

Sounds like either this isn't the first time he's been mad at you or something is happening in his life to stress him. Assuming your not the problem you should try to talk to him and see what the real issue is because a bowl of soup is obviously not a real problem 😂

[kkirk4442]

He over reacted, not you. Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with someone who acts that way over such a relatively minor matter?

[MzAsh]

Fucking glare at him back! You ladies are going to have to toughen up around ragey little assholes like him. Show him he’s NOT going to intimidate you.

[heatherlou]

People argue. That's normal.
People over-react - you both seem to have. Again completely normal.
Him removing himself from a volatile situation is a good thing. Allow yourselves both time to calm down and tomorrow I imagine you'll both be ready to apologise and move on.

[Laciandmaci]

YOU COULD HAVE STARTED A FIRE!!! NEXT TIME CHECK! IDC HOW TIRED YOU ARE CHECK! I WORK SOMETIMES UNTIL 4 AM 8-12 HOUR SHIFTS COME HOME VERY TIRES AND IF SOMEONE LEAVES SOMETHING IN THE MICROWAVE FOR ME, I STILL ALWAYS CHECK, IT ONLY TAKE A FEW SECONDS. I AM ON HIS SIDE YOU COULD HAVE STARTED A FIRE!

[Laciandmaci]

metal in the micro causes a firework reaction and sparks (which COULD lead to fire.) But I understand it was an honest accident, he should apologize for screaming at you though! Good luck be more careful!

[AnggieGirl]

Odd for sure on his part.
Stand tall and proud girl.
Go to him and say "what's your deal with flipping out the way you did about my soup spoon?"

Also, what was he doing at the time before he cw flying out to flip on you? Analyze it all or however you chose to handle it. But being afraid of your spouse isn't ok., Any good man would have taken awareness to your well being, if a spoon was sparking instead of being mad. He should have made sure you're ok.

[Avicenna]

Depends how he handles it now, but, yeah, that was very messed up on his part

[Danny_dan92]

Your boyfriend is a dumbass for leaving a spoon in it given that he apparently left it out with the intent of having you microwave it

[princeofromance]

No, Get super mad at him back.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

I think he was a wee too angry.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Big red flag.