Why do your family or your parents treat you differently when they don’t like who you’re in a relationship with?

[Anonymous]

My parents aren’t too fond of my boyfriend. They’re on the outside looking in and I spend a lot of time with him and it’s almost like I moved out. I go to work from his house, we do everything together, we have fun and enjoy each other’s company. He cooks for me, takes me out etc but he has a really bad temper, though he’s never hit me, his temper is what they don’t like and because I still choose to be with him despite his temper, everything I say or do they’re always suspicious of it. I was out of work for a few months due to Covid, my hours got cut and eventually I was laid off but I received unemployment up until a few weeks ago, my unemployment ran out. My boyfriend works and he helped (helps) me out as well but I asked my parents for money there and there too, to get essential things until I started back working again. When I was working and even when I stopped and was only receiving unemployment I was still giving my parents money toward rent and like I said I wasn’t and still am never there anymore. So recently, my job called me back to return to work and I told my parents the good news. The process for me to start took longer than usual (two weeks) and so when I finally started, on my first day, my dad texted me saying and I quote “Me and your mom know you’re lying about working again. Don’t ask us for anymore money and bring your keys home.” When I sent him a picture of me at work and told him how that hurt my feelings and how me asking for money wasn’t me using them but as my parents I thought it would be okay as long as I paid them back he never even responded, apologized or anything.

Updates

+1 y

Also, the little money I did ask for, also on my first day of work, my mom texted me asking “When do you start work? You know I’ve been adding it up. You owe me (this amount of money) not, how’s your first day or work? How have you been? I know you haven’t been at home?

[wise5]

Parents act the way they do to protect their children, are we the best judge of character? No. You said it yourself they are on the outside looking in. They don't see everything. That money bit is going a step to far in my book. A parent should always help out their children if able and you have the right idea of paying them back what you borrowed as you can.

You should open up and let your parents see the real person your with. A family outting if you would. Maybe a barbecue let your dad and your boyfriend work the grill and drink some beers or some other kind of family bonding event. Without stuff like this, letting them get to really know him and not his temper, all they see is that their child is with an abusive person. I know that last bit sounds harsh but you have to look at it as a parent, because it sounds like you've got a good guy with a bit of a flaw (but honestly who doesn't have some flaws i know i do).

[Asker]

Yea, when my dad texted me and said “Don’t ask for another dime.” That hurt. What parent doesn’t want to help their child? And my mom didn’t even want to send me any money for when I went on break at work to get something to eat. My boyfriend ended up sending me the money, but my moms response when I asked if she could cash app me a few dollars to eat something while on my 30 minute break was “Absolutely not. We are not a cash machine whose gonna keep giving you money.” Like if I didn’t ask my boyfriend or if my boyfriend wasn’t a good boyfriend like he is, I would have just went hungry on my break and she didn’t care

[Iron_Man]

Because they are a good judge of character and they want what’s best for you