Ever had any really good friends that you thought might be trying to cause problems in your relationship so they can have a chance with you?

[Aerissa_Jade]

I've often wondered if friends who wish they could date me, but I'm already happy in a relationship have tried to sabotage things, directly or indirectly to lead to a breakup so they can be there to come in and comfort me, and try to make a move later.

It seems like a huge risk or gamble that could backfire, but I think it may have happened a few times, I just don't know.

It is not something I would ever do to anyone, if I had a friend in a happy relationship I would want things to work out for them and for them to be happy.

Anyone has ever done this or had this done to you and you know it for a fact? Caught them doing it?

It could be anything, like letting out a secret that could hurt the relationship (and you know it), or something more direct, like using your trust to cause suspicion to make you think they are cheating or something and thus causing distrust and trust issues in the relationship.

[ohshee]

Yes kinda she would come around to see my ex it was her friend. And they would be talking or doing stuff I would be out in my garage working and she would come out there and the moment that my ex would open the door and come out there she would say something so off-the-wall and I thought I heard what she said but I wasn't for sure I just happen like four or five times that day.
And then one night my ex went to a bachelorette party and that girl is supposed to be there but she decided to come over to my house and she was getting really close since you touched me and I would just look at her and started laughing so what are you doing I said you might as well just stop because I'm not the guy you think I am she offered to give me a blow job right then and there and I told her she is going to have to leave I had to go to bed I had to get up early in the morning she didn't want to leave but she did LOL I told my ex about it. And then she told me that she heard this girl has a crush on me and then she said well I'm not worried about it then she turned around look at me it said or should I be I said no you don't have anything to worry about but I think my ex might have said something to her because she stopped coming around and if it was one of my friends that ever did that they wouldn't be my friend anymore if they were serious text you something that I don't like at all

[ChrisMaster69]

Not me directly, however I HAD a friend that tried to break up my relationship with a girl as he got obsessed with her.

He started spreading all sorts of stuff, from I was sleeping with my ex wife, to I was moving away and would dump my girlfriend etc.

It was my sis that clued me in on it and she also told my then girlfriend.

We then sort of played his game and I moved out for a bit (I was actually sorting out a house I had bought down south to rent out).

He then started sniffing around and tried upping his rumours by telling my girlfriend directly I was seeing someone down south, she played the ‘oh no what should I do part’, he then tried his damnedest to get in her pants, she made sure she rejected him firmly with a witness present and told him not to contact her.

A few mates and I then had a quiet chat with him, explained we all knew what he was up to and he was no longer welcome.

on the back end of this, someone else said he had tried a similar tactic to get his girlfriend.

Not thought about him for years, no doubt he’s still trying his shit some place.

[jennifer_bloom]

When I was 18 a guy liked me and I liked somebody else and he spread lies about me to
the guy I liked and then plotted my kidnapping and rape but I went on a campaign to ruin his reputation and he realized if he hurt me he would be the prime suspect for the police since I did not have other enemies so he left the country before they could investigate him.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Yes. Well, kinda.
I had this “best friend” in my sophomore year of high school… She had actually introduced me to my then boyfriend. She eventually tried to say that she got kicked out of her house and he offered her a place to stay. I was distrusting but what could I do? Then they had sex and apparently they got STDs lol.

[DaveJord]

As a guy, I will say that I never got into girls having guy friends hanging around like a third wheel leeching off our relationship. Its like having a hungry dog staring at you from under the table while you enjoy a T-Bone Steak.

Honestly, if he is just her friend he is either not in his own relationship or he so desperate for female attention. I have never been with a women who is cool with me hanging out or spending time with other women period.

Honestly I do not find it attractive when a women spends time or puts effort toward maintaining relationships with other guys while she is dating me... and I definitely do not want her talking about me to other men about our relationships because I definitely do not trust their motivations. If I am dating a girl it because I think she's hot and sexy, so I assume any other guy in the stratosphere would think the same. So if he "just friends" I start to get suspicious or start thinking what's wrong with this guy?

For the life of me, I will never understand why women can not see this for themselves.

[Not_Average]

I remember a girl I dated had a guy friend. She invited him to a lunch with us unexpectedly. The guy was trying to compete the entire time and made me a bit uncomfortable. It was so obvious. I told him flat out in front of her I’m not playing this game. Told him is see what he’s doing, and I’m not going to pretend I like you, or be accepting of this. He was passive, got tongue-tied, and denied it all the way. Needless to say, I told her respectfully after, I’m not going to date you if you have guys like this feening and waiting. Got enough stress in my life, and this isn’t going to make it to my list. Zero tolerance for that kind of bullshit. I’m on the same boat as you.

[DaveJord]

@Not_Average totally agree... right move my man!

[Aerissa_Jade]

My man is always first, if he is around he gets my attention and no friends are around. Friends do not get any confidential talks either, but I don't expect him nor should he expect me to just give up all my friends because we are in a relationship. Socially isolating your partner is a bad way to try and control them.

I can't actually say if any friends have done this, just kind of wondered if some may have.

[Not_Average]

My wife has girlfriends, and she has male coworkers who she talks to at work. Her having a guy “friend” is a no go for my boundaries in the same way that having a girl “friend” is a no go. It’s just inappropriate when you’re married in my opinion. What business to I have calling another mans wife to go out and talk? None

[Not_Average]

A girl “friend” for me.

[DaveJord]

Yeah agreed... nobody is talking about isolating yourself. It okay to have male "work friends" or acquaintances. But Guy "Friends" in general is a piont of concern for me.. no a fan in the least and more he was hanging around it would become more an issue for me. I don't hang out with sexy single women and fake like I only want to be friends nope not buy it. I know my ex-wife, and ex girls friends and my current girl friend is not going to buy any excuse from that I just like being friends with this hot sexy single women... nope no go.

I am sure as women you are being honest and sincere... but I don't trust guy friends in the least.

[Aerissa_Jade]

@DaveJord Understandable, I've been with guys before that isolate me to control me, so never going to happen again. I prefer they all get along, and he trust me. I will also trust him if he has women friends, and even try to make friends with them.

[DaveJord]

@Aerissa_Jade thanks, I am not saying you are wrong in any thing... just giving my opinion on the question. If your boyfriend is cool with it then great. But no I would not trust guys that just want to be friends as a guy trust me very few would pass up sex if they thought you would, and if they thought they could get sex they would disrupt or comment with the boyfriend for your attentions.

[Neilbud]

From what I've heard it happens a lot. I've even seen it a couple times myself. If you have some good emotional control, and you were honest with your partner. It usully doesn't succeed. I also don't classify people who do stuff like that as friends. They usually are only friendly when they want something and that's not true friendship

[Aerissa_Jade]

I can't say it has ever happened that I ever know of, my best friends and I from college would never back stab each other, we would talk about who liked who and ask guys who they liked, let them get a say in it too. None of us ever would try to ruin something to have an attempt. There was soo many other options out there, no point in doing that.

I've kind of suspected with no evidence that some guy friends may have tried to influence indirectly, but it has no effect on me as I trust my man. What others say, just won't fly with me unless they have some actual hard evidence. Like if they are saying hey he is cheating on you, that's fine but I'm not just going to take your word for it, what else you got?

[Neilbud]

I think it's like most things. Pretty rare but damaging when it does happen. Always best to avoid those kinds of people.

[Aerissa_Jade]

The most I have ever heard from guy friends is, I wish I had known you first, or I will be there if things don't work out.

That is the direct stuff, but it has made me wonder if they have done things on the back end that I will never know about.

Many of these guys I am still friends with as I friend zoned them so being there for me later, didn't mean they actually had a real chance.

[Neilbud]

I would be careful or who throw in the friend zone tho. I know a lot of girls who have great men in their friend zone for shallow reasons. Just an FYI.

[lilyanony1]

Yes... I've had guys do that.
I've had female friends think my choice to date outside my race was wrong and tried to set me up with someone else, he and I the only two singles and other conveniently ended up arguing.
So I told him from the start I was with someone.
He then told me his preference is Asian heritage.
You like what you like unfortunately noone can force you to date what you don't like.
Dating is chemical and physical!

[kyleelyn199723]

That’s why I don’t be friend guy friends anymore because every single guy that “be friended” me all have tried to fuck me or date me. I’m all set. My boyfriend is my guy best friend and I am 1000% okay with that

[Jhonrembo]

Luckily I have good friends no one will do such a thing on purpose. Sometimes it happens that there is friendship and feelings develop between people after a period something that is not controlled but no one will take any step as long as the other is in a marital relationship.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Yeah, a few guys have attempted but failed. Worse are female "frenemies" who tried to seduce & win my then-boyfriend, now-husband from me.

[Alwayreckles93]

Actually I have know girls that wanted to be friends with only because they wanted to date my brother.

[Anonymous]

Not quite the same, but I've had a female friend keep others away from me, in her mind, to "protect me". But she just liked the attention I think because she knew I liked her. She didn't want me, but didn't want anyone else to have me either.

[melanieeeB]

Not really, I had "friends" trying to sabotage other relationships of mine but not to be with me.. i don't even know why but yeah

[RobT312]

No it has never happened to me , but have seen it happen to a buddy of mine. Another girl who was his friend tried to edge out his girlfriend

[exitseven]

No, my friends never would have done that to me. One of my friends actually did the opposite. I was insecure in the relationship and my friend sort of talked me out of it.

[Honestguyopen]

One of my wife's friends did this after we started getting serious. It just pissed me off more at her. They are no longer friends.

[donnny2367764]

Yes, indeed, but it would most likely be to try to get into your pants

[Jintendo18]

On the contrary, significant others have been the ones to try and get between me and my friends.

[BestWoman]

Yes, I had such a friend. I saw that that friend of mine is not my best friend. I cut off my communication with that person.

[Cowboy6666]

Lol Not really, Never had any closer Female friends in my whole life.

[MisterTee]

No thankfully I have not experienced that. At least not that I was aware of. Lol

[Naughtyboy71]

Really no it never happen to me yet
Can't say it want but love to be your cyber friend
Talk sexual conversations cum together

[Agape93]

Nope, they know better than that.

[SweetDisaster]

Yes my mother lol for reals 😃😄

[hi8sm3]

And you are 33. She is jumping at her age

[Marypindea]

Your mom