Possibly letting my childhood best friend go?

[scott04sa22]

It seems that it’s possible that my childhood best friend likes me more now then before but I can’t have her because she’s seeing her ex husband. If that’s the case then there’s been trouble in paradise between them and I’m not the type who steals someone’s girlfriend / ex wife. If I asked her out then she’s going to reject me or not answer it and possibly won’t talk to me for awhile. Also I have lots of experiences of rejections and I had a few really bad ones. I don’t understand why she likes me more when she dating her ex - husband. Some People told me to let her go but we have good friendship going on. I don’t know how to confront her about this.

Updates

+1 y

I’m no longer taking to her

[Anonymous]

I had a similar situation. I'm married and my friend is single. After couple years of reconnecting things began crossing lines for me, emotionally. She was struggling setting boundaries and I realized we both had feelings for each other. It got to a point where I couldn't just step away without hurting someone. I confronted the issue in honesty- I told her I love her and this emotion meant we cannot be friends. I said she needed to move on without me and I needed to focus on my wife and family. The result wasn't pretty- she was devastated. It still hurts to know I let one of my closest friends go. Tell you the truth, being with her was amazing but I didn't want to take advantage of her feelings. You will need to look at it as a selfless act, putting her happiness above your own- even if it hurts. After all, that's what love really is.

[scott04sa22]

I understand. We also talked about lots of things including sex But the thing is we don’t have the same likes about sex but I can’t understand why she likes me more when we don’t have the same Likings on sex. I’m more kinky then she is. She used to talk about sex a lot until recent. I’m just confused about her recent behaviors

[Opinion Owner]

It's not worth it. Because the more you stay involved in her life, the more you'll confuse her and the more it'll drive you insane. She may not want to talk about feelings between you and may actively change the subject to protect the friendship. At least that was the case for me. So I wrote to her. She is the only woman in my life who I let go because I loved her. Losing a friend hurts deep man.

[scott04sa22]

Also she’s in a messy situation too.

[Imcmullan]

The only way you'll know if you gained her fairly is if you gave her space for her and her ex husband to figure things out. Clearly she is in a messy situation and you being around might confuse her.. she might think, the grass is greener on the other side... In order for her to give her husband a fair chance, no other parties need to be involved.

[scott04sa22]

That makes more sense.

[scott04sa22]

I’m also trying to respect her ex-husband to. She is in a messy situation. If I step back It can give her ex-husband The chance he needs with her.

[Imcmullan]

I agree

[awkward_author]

Are you okay with just being friends with her?

[scott04sa22]

It’s possible that She could be more attached to me then her ex husband who she’s dating right now. If I stopped talking to her then she can give her ex husband more of a chance to win her back but she wants to be more than friends with me.

[awkward_author]

That's her decision, though. If you want to continue being friends, why not do that unless she doesn't?

[scott04sa22]

Right now she’s in a messy situation that’s why I’m stepping back. Also I’m trying to respect her ex husband

[awkward_author]

If that's what you want to do, then it is what it is.

[scott04sa22]

Pretty much