Men, how do you know your girlfriend or wife isn't in it for the financial benefits of yours?

Question

Or do you not care about being used for your resources? Or do you like being used for your resources?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

When she doesn’t respect you and doesn’t make you a priority , when your sex life dies down with her when you only go to her begging for intimacy and affection and she doesn’t come to you and her priorities are everyone else but you , she is using you , she easily excludes you from things , and shows signs of being selfish , you are just being used , if she truly loved and valued you she would be a team partner and work with you and planning your future together , affection and intimacy would just be natural between you both , , without that you are being used , she is stringing you along until she can find her replacement or already has her replacement testing the waters before she makes her final move , best thing for you to do is talk with her and tell her
Your feelings and how you are feeling. and if things don’t change after that then you need to focus on yourself and prepare yourself for heart break , start being selfish like she is , Go hang out with friends and play the same game she is playing with you , when she notices you are having a good time without her she will either have a wake up call and come crawling back to you or she will end up with the new guy , pretty much doing you a favor cuz she truly didn’t love and respect you if she is screwing someone else , she used you , so find someone that loves you for you not someone that just likes the convenience of you , Love and relationships are a team commitment, they are not one sided , if it becomes one sided then realize you deserve better than that , don’t settle for someone that just likes the convenience of you , it hurts like hell when we give our heart to someone that shits on it but it’s a learning experience , it prepares you for not falling for that shit again , We can’t force someone to love us and to be faithful to us but we can fight for them to stand by us by treating them the same way you want to be treated , if they choose to walk away, let them go and value your self worth and realize you deserve better than that

De_La_BakedBeans · Accepted Answer

Well, because she works and makes her own money... Simple as that.

Prezzi3 · Accepted Answer

You know by what she is asking you for. Also, as a grown person you know when it feels like your being taken advantage of. One way my ex could tell that I wasn’t in it for money unlike his other exes was, I only asked that he gave me his time and effort. I always made sure to be there for him when he was feeling stressed or sad. He said all his other exes didn’t really care about that, they just wanted to receive gifts or get money for their nails and hair but it wasn’t reciprocated.

lovedejj_xo · Accepted Answer

Easy date someone that has their shit together. I I’ve always told men I can afford my lifestyle and I buy myself nice things, travel etc. …. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to receive nice things. But I don’t need your money to get what I want, I’ll always have my own.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

You will immediately know by what her behavior is like.
If she exhibits behavior that seems to be materialistic, always wanting to do something that requires lots of money (lots of vacations, expensive dinners, etc), or always wanting expensive gifts… Then you’ve got yourself someone who is in it for the money.
If you find someone who actually wants to spend quality time with you, doesn’t want you to spend lots of money on them, always offers to pay for things, and doesn’t care if you don’t wear Gucci or drive a Mercedes lol, then they aren’t in it for the money.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

I have a pretty good vetting process. Usually I come up with creative date ideas that are also somewhat challenging. Like an early morning hike, or a late night kayak on the ocean. Not only does it keep money out of the equation, it finds women who have an adventurous and bold spirit who are excited about the adventure of life similar to the way I am.

Another thing is I don't really enjoy restaurant dates. I'm fine with grab a smoothie or cafe or something, but the whole rigamarole of dining out I only do once a month or so, and not with someone I just met.

A museum is another good date, or an amusement park. If there is a fee, I will just see if they want to go/can pay for themselves. I usually don't ask someone to do something that I'm not already doing. That is, I wouldn't create an amusement park date, I would already be going, and I would invite the girl I am interested in to come along. It would be as part of our group, and it would be clear if she's coming, she's paying for her own portion. I might even say something like "you can meet us there if you want, or you could ride with my friend, he's asking for $5 for gas from each of us.".

I know this is a turn off or dealbreaker for some women, and that's perfect. Because if her focus is on my finances, and seeing me as a source of her financial stability, then her focus is in a different place than mine. I care more about our interactions, who she is, and her values. I do care about finances and proper money management, but I don't see my loved ones as sources for income or resources, I prefer to be independent, and the people I am intimate with are similar to me in this regard.

HighValue · Answer

She offers to sign a prenuptial agreement where you keep everything you have earned. If she won't do that, she is using you for financial gain and will mess over you when it is to her advantage.

Don't rely on her having a decent job. That doesn't mean she isn't after your stuff. A friend of mine had a girlfriend that had a well paying job. Once they were married and had their first kid she quit work, moved in her relatives, and ran his finances into the ground with plenty of debt. Don't trust the scam of "I work and make more money than you." They can quit and leave you responsible for all of the bills.

humanearth · Answer

I fell for that trap once. The woman destroyed me financially, emotionally, and sometimes physically.

Once I was broke, she left me. I thought it was love, but it was greed.

After me over the next 24 years she did the same thing to 3 other guys.

The only reason I know this, Because our son lives with me and he stays in contact with her.

She is a very greedy, disturbing, selfishly person. Once she don't have a use for you, she is done with you.

Kinda sounds like the government right

Wanghe20512 · Answer

Only if she is richer than you. Otherwise your financial statements would be one of partner selecting factors as well as your outlook and personality. Just a pretty girl would never know the man true love the person she is or just her face, without her beauty will he still love her? It's human nature for women choose rich, strong ability and kind men, and men choose sexy smart and kind lady. Since youve been chosen, what are you scared of? If she leaves you one day because U turn poor, then be a man, just free her, let her find her happiness , don't count on a woman to help you out or stuck with U to suffer life. If she stays great she is your true love, if not at least U guys enjoyed happy life before, everyone is selfish, U can't count on Ur partner too much. One day if U rich again, get another sexy woman to keep enjoying ur life.

TDDMS · Answer

I've had the misfortune of encountering a few gold diggers when I began dating, the one was direct and wanted to know how much I made, the other wanted to know how much I filed for my prior year's taxes. With that said, gold diggers are generally obvious in the beginning and they aren't slick enough to hide their motivations. Another sign that I've noticed is that when women perk up or come alive when you talk about money or expensive items, it's a good sign she's a gold digger. And lastly, if every time you thrust into her and her pussy makes a cash register sound, there's a 99% probability you're fucking a gold digger.

Jersey2 · Answer

I accept that part of my desirability is that I can provide for a wife and family. It’s part of my attractiveness as a mate and gives my offspring a better chance to survive and women intuitively/instinctively know this. Some women still want strong men for this purpose but it will be intelligence that takes the day in the future as they move beyond that due to Darwinism. This doesn’t mean that I want a strict gold digger as that doesn’t help me raise quality offspring. I got what I wanted… big tits, blonde hair, blue eyes and good motherly instincts. She got what she wanted as well which was to be a stay home mom and focus on the kids.

LimboOfTheDink · Answer

How does she know you aren't in it for her body? Trust both ways, I assume.

Maybe she will leave if you lose money, maybe he will leave if you gain weight, but hopefully (at least assuming you care about your financial/physical health and aren't just being lazy about it) they wouldn't leave just because of a change or a drop in that area.

Anonymous · Answer

How should i know that men won't leave her when she becomes 35 or how should she know she does not get used for her body?
How many of you would date not young women? At least you can get women with money at any age but old women can't get any hot man with money. Leaving your husband for stupid reasons when you are 40 years old does not make sense to me. Young women can afford this since majority of men still want them due their youth/beauty. A much older woman can't do that.

I was told that you are worthless for men and his family when you do not expect any cent from him but when you use some of his money, he can't easily leave you for stupid reasons since he and his family already spend much money on his wife. This is why families in my culture expect from the potential husband to buy a lot of gold in order to marry her daughter. But i am from a middleeastern a culture in which everyone waits till marriage.

Ellie-V · Answer

Thoroughly asses your standards of reciprocity. Detail what makes you feel most appreciated and rejuvenated. I’d your lady measures to that criteria without you asking then that is how you know.
However… men are meant to be used for their resources. It’s not your ONLY purpose but it’s an inevitable piece of your masculine journey.

PhoenixAl · Answer

But guys, really? You ain't that stupid if you have money. Get yiurself a woman who has her life together and won't need your money. You all hang around with women who live life by getting a rich man and make that a lifestyle. If she get's money from you, if she asks for it, if she doesn't make any efforts for you and expects everything from you only, then it's a red flag. Rich people living a tough life.

Anonymous · Answer

"One of the most robust findings in evolutionary psychology is the observation that men and women differ in the characteristics they prefer in potential mates. In study after study, in country after country, psychologists consistently find that men strongly prefer looks over resources, whereas women value resources over looks."

Every woman is "in it" for your financial resources. It is female human nature. We know that... it has been very well studied and documented and it should come as no surprise to anyone.

But that's not a bad thing unless it's taken to the extreme. It's no different than men being "in it" for looks, sexual appeal, the nurturing female nature, etc. Men and women want different things from each other, and that's okay.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

You know when she helps you build your wealth. If she just shows up at the finish line after you're ballin dont marry her officially. Just call her your wife that way you don't have to risk everything on her. Most women behave like children, so emotional

nitsuj86 · Answer

Where does she spend her money?

A woman that really likes you will have no problem putting up her own money FOR YOU, without expecting anything in return.

Most ladies out here want the man to fund their lifestyles, but won't spend their own money on you. If you are taking her out all the time, and she never does anything for you, cut her loose.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I've refused work because anytime I come up on money she starts acting greedy... almost 20 years married at this point. Maybe it's because I've dealt with her for so long but I'm starting to get the opinion that women just think differently about money. For them extra money seems to mean stupid things like pointless trips or vacations.

DCooper · Answer

You don't. You just roll the dice, do the best you can, and hope for the best. If you're wary about it, that will poison things; and if you're not, the damage will be worse if it goes south. Or you can simply choose not to gamble on high stakes, and never take a relationship beyond the casual dating zone.

Moose304 · Answer

Basically, you don't. Short of a Vulcan mind-meld, you can't know every intimate thought. Actions and demeanor can go so far, but in the end, you can't really tell. Understand I am talking about both sexes. Men can be some of the worse golddiggers there are.

shaysh87 · Answer

you know when you date women who aren't broke and are on a similar financial status as you. Dumb men only like to date poor women and then complain when they find gold diggers. what do you expect?

ChiTown33 · Answer

You never really know for sure. All you can do is take a LONG TIME vetting her. Women like to hide undesirable things about them. The longer you take vetting her the longer she has to keep up the charade if she's hiding something and she might slip up and reveal something that's a deal breaker.

chulo1992 · Answer

My last girlfriend had saw me as a potential meal ticket and that's why I had to bail. Her whole thing was, she basically wanted to stay home, collect her little check (and mean little) and have us live together and ME pay the rent and who knows what else. When I found out what she wanted, I QUICKLY SHUT IT DOWN and left the relationship.

Zenit93 · Answer

Because we earned a good chunk of our wealth together. On top of that, it’s understood in my household that I’m the breadwinner. I don’t want my wife to ever make a decision between work and our children when we have kids. She inputs in other ways that I can’t. I’m better at making our money make more money. I don’t hoard wealth… I personally like to share it. That includes my wife.

CaptainLegal · Answer

You just know. Currently my girlfriend is in university and I help her financially because I love her it's only natural to help your partner. She doesn't ask for expensive stuff but in generally she barely ask me for me to buy her stuff. She also cooks when I'm working and she's at home which is amazing

VanillaSalt · Answer

If I’m dating her and she’s benefiting financially I’m benefitting in some way be it sexually or through support. If she’s not okay with that then I don’t have time for her. If it all goes under then worst case I paid for a prostitute.

Guy13 · Answer

🛑 lying to yourself or to others…All people desire what Money brings them.

If you can’t accept that then you can’t enjoy life then you guard Money over Wife and Then the Wife says🖕 and the Lawyer says, “💰 thanks, dumb🚼 💵 “

Bratsondanielle · Answer

Well my future husband does pay for everything but I put in all my time and energy running our off grid property and cook and clean so I think he doesn't complain

TsAubreyKate · Answer

Easy never let her know what I do for a living or how much I make if she ask either of these questions and we just met RED FLAG 🚩

if possible try to date her for 2 years at least without her knowing dating shouldn’t feel like an interview I promise it’s not that important

Heartache0405 · Answer

You can’t know. You gotta have trust left and these days trust is too difficult to put into anyone. Especially women.

Anonymous · Answer

We never pay for each other except for small things because we know if we break up then it's a loss we never get back. She's pretty smart so she saves coupons well even though both our parents are rich. When single I used to hide wealth and act poor so I they could see me instead of my paycheck.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

You don't have any gold to dig for. Boy stop Cap'n 🧢

RawIronhide · Answer

Um easy, I don't chase women, they'd have to really like me to get that far cuz I don't play that shit homie.

Exterminatore · Answer

I’m sure security in the many forms it comes in is part of the package for women. I’m not defending gold digging whores by any means, however I also want to be with someone whose financially stable.

20yearsolder · Answer

Because when we got together, I didn't have a pot to piss in and we've been together for 33 years

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Simple. I never make anything thing of the money I have at the beginning of a relationship.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

After you've been with her for a while, tell her you're flat broke and see how long she sticks around.

Grond21 · Answer

Because you build a relationship where you trust someone. And you verify that they are worthy of that trust.

genericname85 · Answer

i got a really simple trick for that: just be broke xD if you have no money, you know she's not in it for the money xD

jamesgoldman · Answer

Well I was the poor one when I was dating and frankly whilst single at this point (probably forever to be honest) I still am poor in real terms

Anonymous · Answer

Assume that it's true because it likely is. Women will care about your resources, that's just the fucked up way of life. But at least you can have other things they like about you, at least it's bearable when it's not purely about resources.

Balbal · Answer

Unfortunately, I actually love that fact. Loving me for a reason and that is money. If I can buy loyalty and love without any doubt then I am okay with it.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Easy. I just don't give her shit. If she was in it for money, she would have left a long time ago.

Iron_Man · Answer

Tell her that you’re bankrupt and see how long she sticks around

exitseven · Answer

I was almost flat broke when I got married. I know she did not marry me for money.

Caunsos · Answer

The sexy lamp test. If the way they interact with you could be replaced with sexy lamp with a wallet than she a gold digger.

anton_dee · Answer

If she expects you to pay for every fucking thing, if u buy her a gift and she unhappy coz she wanted something costlier.

Anonymous · Answer

women look for resources thats it  most have no CHRIST and will be entering the snake of outer darkness

Djaay · Answer

But we ALL know they are.. You must regulate every dollar given and invest every dollar given out. The returns have to be greater than given out.

Mangospacho · Answer

If you don’t make a lot of money and she stays with you, that’s one way.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Dont just give them things like a retard? Seems obvious.

jasco · Answer

Honestly you can't. Gold diggers are great liars and trying to catch one is very difficult

Paul09 · Answer

Well for you pay for all the dates? There's your answer.

noohair · Answer

The is the question that all men ponder. I don't have the answer.

InferiorElegy · Answer

You won't ever know until you're broke. Unless she's open about it.

Anonymous · Answer

Its easy, she signs a prenup and pays for her own stuff. If not she's in it for the lifestyle. If she brags about having a job then thats even more of a reason to pay her own way.

Hanrej · Answer

Assume that any woman wanting to rush marriage want your money.

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

Because she makes more than me and she had opportunity to be with a man who does much more.

Anonymous · Answer

Move into a cardboard box, if she moves with you, she's with you for you, if she leaves then she was with you for your money.

Mediterraneansoul · Answer

Treat her to something if she doesn't return the favour and/or become dependant on you. You know

michael1469 · Answer

Of course they are. Anytime divorce comes up... you end up paying.

Anonymous · Answer

She was told early on that finances will be separate, there will be a pre nup and as we don’t want kids, she also has to work.

Anonymous · Answer

If it was born with female chromosomes, there is a financial draw to their interest in you.

Men, how do you know your girlfriend or wife isn't in it for the financial benefits of yours?

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