Boyfriend not replying?

[Anonymous]

I texted my boyfriend yesterday and chatted a bit. In the night I tried calling him cause I had some trouble going to the toilet (painful) and he called me back but I missed his call since I was occupied trying to settle the situation. I called him when I saw the call but got a busy tone. I went to bed as I got tired and was falling asleep. This morning i texted him the reason I was calling and said i was sorry for calling him quite late but had an emergency but is all good now. He hasn't replied or called me back. I'm a bit concerned as this is out of character he's much more attentive. I know he's working during the day so I let him be because I don't want to disturb him while working. I don't know if I should call him or wait for him to contact me. As an anxious person I make all sorts of scenarios in my head. Those experiencing this understand how it feels. I tried writing down how I feel when i get anxiety. The last couple of days he has been less responsive but would call to check on me at the end of the day. I try to stay calm and remind myself that everything will be alright. Any other intoverts experiencing similar issue? Really wanting to connect or communicate but feeling like you're a burden? Thank you!

[Changiis07]

Yes girl we all go through this. I use to be like this as well and would panic or start making scenarios in my head as to maybe they are no longer interested or something happened, or I'm being too needy but it's very unhealthy and then we push them away because we look needy. It takes time but once you are happy and at peace with yourself you stop worrying about it. I look up youtube videos to help me help myself in these situations. Like calming down and just seeing the whole picture, we make such a big deal and they are probably just sleeping lol it does take time but you can do it. It's good to work on this. I know praying and listening to worship music has helped me so much. I am very happy and at peace that I don't even care if someone I text responds to me or not. It's best to let them initiate contact also. If you reached out and they have not responded then let it go, you did your part. You can't control the situation but you can control what you feel, so stay busy and don't keep looking at your phone and waiting for a text or call. If he cares about you he will reach out even if hours pass

[Asker]

Thanks a lot! Yes I'm doing this. I have the urgency to call or text again that's why I posted here to distract myself until I feel better and in control of the situation. Is my first relationship so a lot of times I panick and think that I did something wrong.

[Changiis07]

Oh yes and as a first relationship if you don't take control of it now it will affect you and the relationship. I had to go through a few relationships and dating and getting out there until I finally feel like I'm not thinking about it or waiting on them. I hope this is your first and last relationship but remember if it's not every relationship helps us to mature and helps us grow. We usually don't do anything wrong we just panic like you say and create stories that have not happened and then we ruin things

[Asker]

Yes that's why I'm taking a breath before doing anything.

[LaNc3L0TT]

You have that urge to text or call since you are overthinking too much and I GET IT. Been there, done that. In last couple years lets say 5, I've lost that urge. I was working on myself to "block" all that bad behaviour and bad thoughts running in my head. And I can say all that have passed...
Basically when I get in that position I start doing something, working out, going out, work, etc, just to take my mind of that "place".
Like I said for past 5 years I feel good regarding that, if we are talking about relationships, basically I don't care (not in bad way) but I respect myself first and I know my value. Had situation when she didn't text or call and I was last one to do that I just left it like that, after 2h hours she call me like "Idiot why don't you call me, bla bla", haha :D
So just work on your self, don't stress about some not that important things in your life, I know its easier said than done, but wok on it.

[Asker]

Yes!!! Well he called and said he was at the training and would call me later. Was thinking if its a good idea to text him to come over for dinner. Don't wanna push it though. And you are absolutely right I am much calmer now. Just wanna do me and be true to my heart :)

[LaNc3L0TT]

I feel ya, just go easy with all, keep in mind that WE (who is/was dealing with this issue) can be sometimes pushy in relationship and ofc, we are not doing that from some bad reason just we overthink much that is issue. Just go slowly with everything and it will be good, GL!

[Asker]

Just realised that he's been going through stuff and I was focused on myself and my own anxiety thinking that it had something to do with me so he drifted apart but told me how he's been losing concentration cause he was thinking much about his life. I've been so selfish to notice and all of my scenarios had to do with him not loving me anymore while he's been craving my support. How can be there for him meaningfully and what words of support can I use? He is dealing with OCD intrusive thoughts.

[LaNc3L0TT]

I think you should talk about it, open up about your problems. As you can see he is also dealing with some anxiety issues which you have in common. Push each other with positive thinking, all life is in front of you!