Would you stay with a boyfriend that doesn't take accountability for his actions?

[Anonymous]

So I just got awarded my 100% va disability. He invalidated my emotions and was being inconsiderate on a disagreement we had. So we hadn't talked for days and I feel if he doesn't say anything to me or apologize he'll miss out on the benefits I receive. Lol I hadn't told him about it yet either. So it's on him.

[Marushka]

Staying together shouldn't have anything to do with any benefits you receive. Can you elaborate a bit more about the argument? A partner shouldn't make you feel like he's invalidating your emotions but it's really hard to say anything here without more details.

[Asker]

He devalued my military experience and said his job is 10x harder. Doesn't think we're equal because he has more money saved. I agree but I got the benefits to also help the both of us.

[Marushka]

Out of curiosity what is his job? I hope for him it's something he risks life and limb in otherwise I have no idea how you didn't break his nose for saying that

Regardless of that he sounds like an asshole. Alone for devaluing you based on your financial situation is not alright.

You deserve love, respect and compression from your partner. He doesn't sound like he gives you any of these. He sounds immature and self absorbed.

Was it the first time he acted like this?

[Marushka]

Also no matter what his job is, saying this is not alright under any circumstances in this situation. It just shows how little understanding he has for you or your occupation. I don't know what you went through in the military but assuming you might have risked your life and potentially lost friends and seen horrific things I don't get how he could talk down on something like that

[Asker]

Yup first time saying that. He's a firefighter and was comparing training. Yes it came off very condescending and insensitive. He felt as if I was just trying to milk the system and get a handout. I was so confused like where the hell is all this coming from. So yeah pretty immature and hitting below the belt.

[Marushka]

Since it was the first time I'd tell him you want to have a serious talk and talk about what happened, how it was very hurtful and inappropriate and see how he reacts. If he still acts inconsiderate and treats you as less he's not worth your time

[Asker]

Yup we hadn't talked for days, I told him I needed a break after that. That was just too disrespectful for me.

[spartan55]

What are talking about? What do your benefits have to do with him?

[Asker]

Welp it'd be beneficial for not only myself but the both of us.

[spartan55]

Why? You aren't married, why would he a part of these benefits?
You aren't making sense.

[Asker]

We're engaged so being married would be beneficial.

[spartan55]

What do you mean by 'accountable for his actions'?

[Asker]

Be accountable for making me feel like shit and being disrespectful to my military experience

[possumpi26]

Hell no and you shouldn't either.