Do you prioritize your partner or your friends?

[Sawyerblu]

Personally, my partner has been around longer than my friends that I’ve met since moving back to my hometown. I believe that he should come first as this relationship is more likely to outlast any friendship (apart from my best friend that I’ve known since we were young children.) I will not hesitate to choose him over temporary friends that I’ve made in my twenties.

My friend thinks that this is insane and that I should choose my friends over him. I would get this if he was a newer love interest but we’ve been in each other’s lives for almost 5 years. I believe that friends will come and go forever, but a relationship with your one person could last a lifetime, at least that is usually the goal.

My question to you is, if it came down to choosing between the two, who would you pick?

Partner or similar long term relationship

Friends

Other thoughts (explain below) or just want to see the results

[Finchie40]

You should prioritize your partner over friends and vice versa , Most people don’t grasp this concept because they are selfish and only thinking of themselves, For love to grow you both have to make each other your priority whether you disagree with them or angry at them , you have to wear their shoes like you expect them to wear yours , realize you won’t always be right , when things get bad you fix it not walk away to someone else. You didn’t commit to be single if you wanted to live a single life you wouldn’t of got committed , set boundaries for each other and realize those boundaries are set for you as well. Friends can cause conflict in relationships , There are 2 types of friends , true friends and toxic friends , A true friend will support your relationship with your partner and not try to take you away from them , they will include your partner out of respect for your relationship , Toxic friends will pull you away from your partner and exclude them They will cause conflict in your relationship, and fill your head with drama that your partner is not good for you and try to make you see things their way , Toxic friends are the true pieces of shit , if your partner tells you they don’t want you being friends with someone then you are best to end that friendship , Again most people don’t grasp this concept , If your partner doesn’t want you having any friends then that’s a whole different issue, But your partner should always be your priority , Realize it’s not control it’s respect for each other. your partner should be your best friend , remove selfishness for each other , that’s where love grows. Whatever you tell your partner not to do , realize that goes for you as well. It won’t always be perfect and you will butt heads from time to time but you fix it before doing something stupid

[Sawyerblu]

I couldn’t agree more! Definitely think my hometown friends are toxic. They’ve already gotten between us once, I’m not about to let that happen again.

I’m just thinking long term, listening to them is not healthy for me, both mentally and physically. I think something that made it change was that I realized that I would never want to have the type of relationship that I see them in, so why would I take their advice?

[Finchie40]

Yea those type of friends you just got to move on from , you don’t have to hate them but distance yourself from them if they are trying to cause conflict in your relationship , the funny thing with those kind of friends is the second they finally meet someone you become non existent to them and they stop calling you to hang out

[NathanDavis]

my partner is always my priority... and all my friends know this, and they understand it as well because they do the same

and I have always made sure to find the right time for both so is not really an issue

now, to choose? to choose between plans with either partners or friends? that would depend on what kind of plans or occasion it is, and their importance how often it happens and all that... some plans are more special than others

but if you mean that I had to choose to stay forever and only with either partners or friends, I would never do that at all... I don't have to choose and I've always been able to keep both very present in my life

and if either my friends or my partners tried to made me choose and decide between them... who ever tries to force me to do that, would be out of my life right away, lol

[Sawyerblu]

My friends want me to go out every single weekend, if I choose my partner one of those weekends, they get mad. I simply do not understand why. This is why I believe that they are temporary friends. My best friends would never get angry with me for choosing to spend time with my man.

Now of course if it’s a friends birthday, a celebration, or girls night, I will always be there. But there are some weekends (most) that I would rather go on a date, play volleyball or do something spontaneous with my man. All my friends do is drink. I try to get us together for something different and sober and they say that they’d love to, but it almost never happens, and when it does, they find a way to incorporate alcohol.

I genuinely do not enjoy drinking unless it’s with dinner anymore. Maybe I’m just getting older but it is not as alluring as it once was.

[NathanDavis]

yeah, I agree with you... those are not the best friends one could ask for, and they might be temporary friends as well

getting drunk everyone single weekend and wanting to do only that is a sign of immaturity as well, lol

you're not getting older, you're just maturing and finding balance as well as better things in life, other than getting wasted "for fun"

[alice55]

I don't have friends but I would put my family as top priority and only after my partner since I know my family since I'm born.

I find it annoying how people put their partner first while they only know them for 1 months and then completely don't give a shit about their family and friends they only comeback running when someone go wrong in their relationship quite toxic behavior and they sound like profiteers. They're friends when they don't have anybody but then when they get a guy you don't exist anymore, you only exist for them to complain when something goes wrong...

[KostasKouvalis]

That's actually kind of true. That's what happened to me. My best friend was my best friend, until he got a girlfriend. Then he forgot about all of us, until they broke up.

And my other friend was complaining about it, then did the same thing. He stood me up to go hang out with his online girl friend, who he talked to literally everyday.

My dad says this is normal behavior, but it's not like you have to spend every minute with her. I honestly don't know how I would act in that situation, though at this point it doesn't matter, because I only have one person in real life I would consider a friend, and she happens to be a girl.
And actually, you can build quite a bond within a month, but that doesn't mean you should abandon your friends. And my friend's first girlfriend was very rude to us and none of us liked her. We ended up all going hiking one time, and the two of them were pretty much doing their own thing. We finally all got annoyed and left them on the mountain.

[alice55]

@KostasKouvalis Men do this more often than women, apparently it's cause men never really real friends just some people they consider "friend" but are more acquaintance than anything. If you didn't notice it's always single men complaining about it, no men with girlfriend will complain his friends don't hang out with him anymore never.
With women it's not the same, women literally would have a jealous break down / huge fight with their best friend if this best friend ignored her for talking to someone or didn't send her a message everyday, there's tons of jealousy / possessivity in women friendship (it's actually a joke in France, that best friends are more jealous than boyfriend XD)

It's not normal, it's common but not healthy since then men rely 100 % of their girlfriend and suffocate her.
Since she become the only person they're near to and who they care about not healthy at all, bring codependency, possesivity, etc... and when break up come those men are toxic as hell literally threatening of suicide (one even tried to kidnap his ex in front of the high school and the teacher didn't face a shit).
Crazy people.
There's also in France an extremely high rate of domestic violence and spouse / ex girlfriend /girlfriend etc.. killing.

Good riddance of them, that was a great things to do XD
Those kind of people are annoying they shouldn't have come if it was to do that.
Those who abandon their friends are assholes, and you shouldn't even talk back to them when they break up, they have no consideration for others other than themselves, they're egoist.

[KostasKouvalis]

This might actually be true. I honestly only make friends with women now. You will never have the same kind of emotional connection with a man, that you will with a woman, and it seems that in this stage, an emotional connection is what I need.
Though a lot of women are fake and nasty too, but I still prefer to be around women.
Yeah, I agree. Just having one close female friend, would make me not care about anyone else anymore. That's why I don't understand those people who are in a relationship, but still try to make friends.

That might actually be true. Well, I get jealous/mad if my girl friends don't give me attention, but with guys I honestly stopped caring. I don't need men in my life anymore. Men aren't gonna make me happy.

That's actually kind of true, and I might be guilty of some of this behavior. I thought you like it when a man is clingy/possessive of you.

Yeah they're selfish.

And I wouldn't say I need her attention constantly, but if she doesn't respond or message me, it makes me think I've upset her/scared her off. I'm really paranoid about being betrayed/losing friends. But I should understand I can't have her pay attention to me 24/7, especially since I find that annoying myself.
But really I get most concerned/jealous that she's giving someone else better treatment then she is me. Like I want her to like ME the most, and I don't want her doing stuff with other guys that she wouldn't do with me. And I want her to only have a strong connection with ME.

[Guy13]

Always the girl I’m hating. My friends can join in later if there are pieces to pick-up. Most people, who have friends, knows how this Process works.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think you're right. Your understanding of the concept is the correct one.

Like you said, if it was a newer love interest, then it would be different. But I'd say 5 years is pretty much "established."

[Reaper1985]

I mean if someone truly loves their partner then putting them higher on the list is a good choice. but it also depends on who they've known longer and how deep their connection is to them.

[Waldoe]

My "Partner" is my "Best "Friend

[TallAnon]

Other, I'm single as fuck

[worldscolide]

My wife comes first.

[Anonymous]

Of course

[Opinion Owner]

Read this as "do you prioritize your partner over your friends?"

Yes. Always.

[Crazygurl2o3o]

I omt have either

[Juan4574]

None.

[EaterPeter]

What friends?