Girlfriend is pissed with me because I fell asleep next to my friend who happens to be gay, now what?

[Anonymous]

So yeah that happened after an awesome time gaming and watching anime. I always struggle with sleep so i tend to doze off here and there anyway. and now she's not speaking to me that much, like it was accidental and it's not like it meant anything. I told another friend and she said its not a big deal your her boyfriend not his!. We're just good friends since high school and just catching up but she says I'm spending too much time with him and now she's all suspicious.

[SteveSmith1985]

This is a bit of an odd situation. Fundamentally there's a "trust issue," that you and your girlfriend need to have an open and honest conversation about.

You guys need to talk about why she doesn't trust you. About what 'rules' or 'boundaries' each of you feels is appropriate when it comes to friends of the opposite sex (or in this case, gay friends of the same sex).

But really, all of that is more applicable "going forward". As for what you should do now?

Well... If you haven't done anything wrong. Then either:

1. She has to believe you're telling her the truth when you say "nothing happened, I just fell asleep. And there's nothing going on between us"

or

2. She can insist that you're a liar and a cheater.

Those really are her two options. Your history with her should be enough for her to believe you. If she refuses to believe you, then there's no way to save the relationship. But if she refuses to believe you, then that indicates that she has such a fundamental lack of trust in you generally... that the relationship was already fucked.

Then once you get past this part (where she believes nothing happened), you have that talk about each other's expectations moving forward.

But to me, this is a little bit silly if you aren't bi. I guess you need to find out if you're expected to treat your gay friend as though he were a girl? (and even then... falling asleep next to a long-time friend after gaming isn't automatically inappropriate.)

Basically, you should essentially give her the "either believe I'm telling you the truth, or believe I'm a liar and a cheater" choice. Hopefully your past behavior has earned you the right to the benefit of the doubt. If there's a history of infidelity in your relationship... then I can sympathize more with your girlfriend. Otherwise... she is being unreasonable in not believing you.

[Anonymous]

I don't care what anybody else here says, FUCK JEALOUSY. If I'm in a relationship with you it's because I want to be with you and you want to be with me. I feel no desire to preemptively attempt to stop cheating where I'm suspicious of it because that would be my own insecurity that I'd be placing on the other person and if they want to be with someone else, that's fine. Go be with someone else, I'm out. I dont want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me and I dont want to be with someone who constantly thinks everyone else is a threat... I dont fuck with insecurity. People will say "noooo, I trust you, I just dont trust everyone else" buuuuullshit. They're insecure and they're trying to control your actions to soothe thier anxiety about their own inadequacy and I dont have the time or patience for that. Not anymore anyway. Those relationships always became SO toxic in my experience. Never an ounce of trust and it's usually based on other people from their pasts actions and not your own.

I have a female lesbian friend who I've known since we were little kids. We grew up across the street from each other. She was super dude-ish and we had sleepovers all the time, even through high school. I dated one girl who prohibited me from seeing her altogether because she swore she was into me and going to make a move some day... yeah... right... she's never once been into a dude in her life, but one day she's gonna wake up and randomly crave the dick of the guy who she calls her brother... sure.. that sounds plausible.. and you must know me so well too to know I've always wanted to fuck a chick in a compression bra with a buzz cut, large biceps, who always wears edd hardy clothes -.- lmao so glad I dont have to deal with that jealousy anymore. My current girlfriend is fucking amazing

[Anonymous]

Maybe you shouldn’t put yourself in situations to cause suspicion. I can’t blame her for thinking it’s a bit sus that you’re with him a lot then fell asleep together. I think of my boyfriend and he’s never do that, I mean as it is he rarely sees his friends and they just text here and there to check in. You might want to adopt something like that as well.

[Anonymous]

Then spend less titimtitime with him, at least until she's cooled down.

[Opinion Owner]

Typo, lol

[In_Trance]

I suspect this isn't the first time and you've probably jerked each other off