Do I continue letting my boyfriend express remorse over his cheating?

[Anonymous]

I was 24 (now I'm 27) when we met and a virgin. He cheated on Feb of last year but I found out 6 months ago through a couple texts and an old bill.

It's been a rollercoaster since and he's been contrite since. He's been saying I'm the best girlfriend he ever had, wished he would take it back, giving me access to his accounts, etc. However, I'm fighting my own inner demons. Unfortunately I'm no longer the best girlfriend he ever had. I'm not pure anymore. I don't have the high grounds anymore. It happened in September 20th, on my boyfriend's b-day. I deliberately chose that date because when he cheated it was my b-day too; that's why he showed up late that day. I couldn't take it anymore. It's with someone I had been a friends with benefits for a couple weeks that I'll never see again.

My boyfriend currently still believes he's the only man I've been with but he's not anymore. While part of me feels guilt, other part is for an ''well you deserved it, you did it first on my b-day'' vendetta thing. Do I continue letting him express remorse and everything? Or do I confess?

Updates

1 y

I did on purpose and I wanted to see what it was like lying and going behind my back like him. The thing is part of me feels he deserved it.

Updates

1 y

I still love him but I had rage too.

[Angelo75]

You will have to "choose".
There is no easy way out.

You either choose to stay in the relationship and commit (both of you) to work it out and get over it, or you choose to leave each other and NEVER look back.

If you choose to stay, you'll continue in the rollercoaster, but while telling yourself to forgive him, you'll have to also be honest with him and tell him if you were with any other girl behind his back. Make sure that he is also totally honest with you.
Then the two of you focus and talk about WHY you did it and HOW you feel now.
Then start working on doing nice things with each other and talk about how to avoid being in the mental state that any of you will cheat again. (Either passion or urge or horny-ness...)
The rollercoaster will continue but if you both keep apologizing to each other (that is if you were also with another man behind his back)... it will slowly heal in time. Slowly.
But... you'll still be with each other.

Other option is break up. But also then, you will be in a rollercoaster because, well, you love him. That won't go over very quickly. And you'll wonder "what if you stayed".

So those are the two options.
Just make up your mind which of the options you want. Play it out in your mind and then make a choice.
And stick with it.
If you bounce back and forth, it's just gonna make the whole situation last longer.

[Asker]

I'm finding out I can't get over what he did. These things are making my anger and hurt stay:
- It wasn't a ONS nor drunken event. It was an ongoing affair he had for a couple month
- He didn't confess. I had to find out a year later myself by accident through a couple texts and bill
- The affair ended because his AP dumped him, she dumped him... he didn't
- The fact that one of the days he cheated landed on my damn b-day. That's the day he lied about working extra hours and it was 9:40's pm when he finally visited me with my b-day present. He didn't work those hours. He spent time with his AP.

[Angelo75]

Take notes though that a lot of times it takes 2 persons to make a relationship work, but also to destroy it.
Look, I'm not saying this to guild-trip you. I'm just helping.
Try to find out WHAT it is that you were lacking or doing, which caused your partner to go elsewhere.
Warning: Do NOT do this in order to think it is your fault!!!
Do it while thinking, how can i better myself and learn from this situation?

Then do the changes in your personality so that YOU can grow from it.

Apart from it all, if you can't get over it, and you don't have kids that are going to have to grow up without a dad, well it all makes your decision complicated.
But still I can not tell you what to do.
Nobody can.

Cuz at the end of the day "YOU" have to live with the consequences.
So it wouldn't be fair for someone else to tell you what to decide.

I do feel a lot for you about this whole situation.
Hang in there.
The pain will become less over time.

Slowly... but it will... I promise.
/hugs

[Asker]

DONE. He's been begging lol. I dumped him without telling him about my revenge cheating. I just said it all out, told him he was a lying, cheating POS. I had so much anger.

[Angelo75]

ok.
You've made your choice and executed the choice.
Now the next step.
"Mourning".

Surround yourself with lots of people that truly loves you. (friends... family)
Especially family is handy because with friends, you can develop new feelings and end up having a crush on someone else. Be careful with what is called "the rebound" feeling.
You would "think" you have a new love, but u're just filling up a gap in ur heart with someone else. The problem with that is... once ur heart starts healing and it starts filling that gap from within... there won't be any need for that new love and u end up being in a relationship but not really loving the person.
So... stay away from relationships and heal.
Ask on GaG for healing tips.

[Summeroflove]

Two wrongs don’t make a right. You have scooped to his level. You feel bad for it and he feels bad. So you both need to repent of what you done.

This relationship might be a done deal. You both have cheated and it seems things went downhill from there.

Maybe you should come clean about what you did. Repent. Or break this whole thing off.

At least you feel bad. Meaning you have good in you. Nobody is perfect but you were definitely wrong.

[Asker]

The more I think about the day he cheated on my own b-day, the angrier I'm getting. I've just realized that even after cheating back in revenge, I'm still feeling the hurt and outrage. I can't get over it, esp the ''cheating in my own b-day'' part. It's like he totally disrespected me. Totally.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah. What he did was wrong you should’ve just broke up or made things work. You make yourself low to chest as well.

[Summeroflove]

You should’ve been the better person. Look. I know what you’re trying to do. You want me to tell you that you did nothing wrong to make you feel better about your own shitty actions. Irs not gonna happen.

[Asker]

True I should've been the better person. Never again will I ever waste a single minute of my time with a cheater. It solved absolutely nothing. I just dumped him and said what he is, a lying cheating POS. I didn't tell him about my revenge cheating. No point.

[Summeroflove]

Exactly. Great job. We all make bad choices in life at some point or another. Just pray about it. Repent.

He isn’t worth your time and you’ll find better.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah…. You don’t have to tell him. Just don’t do that again. Especially because you feel bad for it. Means that you have a sense of morals.

He probably doesn’t feel bad when he does wrong anymore. And that is a sad place to be in life. Don’t be like him.

[Asker]

Yeah I ain't doing the revenge cheating ever again. Next time a man cheats on me, I'm dumping him immediately. Too much time for worthless liars, when there are other loyal men out there. I can't believe I've wasted 6 month of my time with that cheater.

[Summeroflove]

AMEN! If he doesn’t change. He will chase all the good women off too. When he cheats on them or uses them for sex or word gets out about how he is. He will get someone he deserves in the end.

As for you, if someone cheats exactly just dump them immediately. But hopefully that won’t happen again.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah that really does suck. Exactly. You don’t want to be on their level. It’s better to move on and as you said. There is loyal men out there.

[SarahS98]

Girl why are you wasting more of your time? All you've done right now is lower your value by scooping to his level and reduced your dating pool for suitable decent men with integrity that don't cheat.

My father revenge cheated on my mother long ago when I was 2 years old and it solved nothing. All it did was make him feel overwhelming guilt, that it solved nothing and he destroyed himself in the process so much that he ended up confessing. Present-day they are still married and stronger than ever but those are rare exceptions.

Personally I wouldn't recommend taking back a cheater because you're still be in that rollercoaster for god know how much longer, you're have feelings of insecurity and distrust and it's a lot of work with counseling sessions and therapy. Are you sure you want all that instead of just leaving? Lastly two wrongs never make a right. You were also wrong to use the other man, whom had nothing to do with your boyfriend hurting you.

[Asker]

I think I'm going to end the relationship. Even after cheating back on him, I've just woken up with more rage over his cheating and him having the nerve to cheat on my own b-day. I'm realizing I can't get over it and I'm seeing him in a disgusting manner.

[Izzy_3991]

Once the trust is gone. It's gone. There's no going back now. It's best to break up with him. The relationship will never be the same.

[Asker]

I still love him though and he was my first. I was innocent in every way when he met me. While it was no better what I did, part of me feels he deserved it. I felt no feelings for the friends with benefits guy (he was cute but I didn't care for him) and just used him to get my revenge.

[Izzy_3991]

I've been in the same boat. My first boyfriend was my first in every sense of the word. He took a lot from me. He left me a damaged and a broken shell of my former self. Some days I don't even know who I am anymore.
But you can do it. It's hard, I doubt deny that, but it can be done. I dated him for two years and stayed “friends” for another 5 years. It got me nowhere in life but I broke free from him, and I am much better for it 😄

[Asker]

Sorry to hear about what your first boyfriend did. Honestly, I'm still feeling the hurt he did. What killed it is he cheated on my damn b-day last Feb of 2021. It was my day and he lied about working extra hours. He came late that day; it was like 9:40ish pm. I was stupid believing him it was his demanding job but nope, he used those hours to screw around his AP. It wasn't a ONS, it was an ongoing whole affair.

[Izzy_3991]

I feel your pain. It’s a very painful experience.
Yeah, what a terrible thing to do on your birthday of all days. That truly was him showing he has no respect for you, your feelings or your relationship with him. He’s just using you for a roof over his head. He got to comfortable and clearly has no self-respect for himself either.
I would truly kick him out. He doesn’t love or respect you. Once you allow this time of behaviour he will keep doing it. He sees you as weak and a doormat. Trust me on that. He will keep going over your boundaries with no regard for your feelings.

[Asker]

Wow the more I think about it how he spent the night in her house and all the things they did (my mind is playing a mind movie) the angrier I'm getting.

[Asker]

yeah I can't get over the ''cheating on my b-day'' part. I think I might have to call it quits. I'm not feeling better. I'm feeling anger all over again.

[Izzy_3991]

Yeah. Once the trust within a relationship is broken, you can never truly get it back. You will never trust him completely again. And he will cheat again because he knows you will take him back. He will keep testing your limits until another woman comes along and he will move on and leave you for dust. It’s best to take control now 😃

[Asker]

I'm single as of now. I've just dumped him. I told him he was a lying, cheating POS and I couldn't get over what he did. I didn't tell him about my revenge cheating because it's pointless. Next time, if a man cheats he's thrown out the door immediately. I wasted 6 months of my time trying to see if it can worked out; nope it can't. You never get over getting cheated on and them deliberately breaking your trust and destroying the image you had of them forever.

[Izzy_3991]

Well done! Super proud of you 😄
You don’t deserve that. He brought out the worst in you. That isn’t healthy.
All the best x
Message me if you need someone to chat to

[Asker]

Thank you. The only thing I did wrong is not being the better person and leave immediately. Next time a man cheats, he'll be thrown out the door in seconds. I just realize cheating is now an absolute deal-breaker to me.

[Izzy_3991]

You are welcome 😄
It’s hard to be the better person when your feelings get badly hurt. Sadly, we act out in hurt and anger. I’ve been there, so you aren’t the only one. Keep your chin up 😃
Cheating is very serious. It’s a dealbreaker in most relationships. Once the trust has gone, it has gone.

[Guy13]

You have set a Tit for Tat precedent. This leads to one up-manship. Whatever you do, I can do better or worse as your case may be. It will be his turn next to one-up this Round.

Maybe he will not act immaturely when he finds out the truth. Birthdays no less…. but you have to tell him ⁉️ 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

yeah only through confession will he know. I wasn't stupid like him to keep all messages without deleting them or leave traces of evidence behind. It's said we're better liars and smarter when cheating. I do feel some guilt but it's like part of me feels he deserved it.

[Guy13]

I have a feeling…and it’s just a guess that one day you’re going to be like wtf happened there 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

Wow, the hurt just doesn't go away. I've revenge cheated and I'm still angry and hurt over what he did.

[aaron210419]

Just my opinion as someone who has been cheated on in almost every relationship, leave him. More than likely there's a reason he continues to drag out his "remorse". It's hard but you have to respect yourself enough to accept your your feelings and logically make a decision to stay or leave. Honestly it's toxic at this point and in the end letting go is probably going to be better in the end. Find someone who will respect you and will not make you feel like you have to get revenge on, relationships are hard enough without carrying around the guilt of cheating. You should be a team and realize that when one of you wins you both do, there's no place in love for revenge.

[Asker]

I've already dumped him 2 days ago. I replied updates to it. I will never ever take back a man that cheats. It was indeed a waste of time. Now I know cheating is an immediate deal-breaker to me.
I didn't tell him about my revenge cheater though. No point. He didn't have the guts to confess it himself so why should I tell him about it. I'm taking a break from dating at this moment. I'm not yet ready to date again.

[aaron210419]

Take your time, get to know yourself again, make rational boundaries, but don't give up on relationships and learn not to hold grudges. Most men are not like this guy, you'll find what you're looking for.

[BigschlongEnergy]

There’s a Myth The Myth is The truth will set you Free but the Reality is much Darker Telling him the truth could be The end of the relationship Forever best to keep the benefits of the relationship rather than be an idiot and lose Everything over the truth.
When i feel Guilt Telling the truth doesn’t make the guilt go away So I ask you Is losing him Worth it?
You could be ignorant and say He isn’t gonna leave me if your so confident That he won’t leave you Try it find out and see what happens if he leaves you then I was right if he stays And Forgives you Then Okay 👍 Choose wisely because your choice can either have consequences or nothing bad will come of it.

[Asker]

Wouldn't it be hypocritical of him to not forgive when I took him back?

[BigschlongEnergy]

Ya see you can judge And Say it would be hypocritical but The reality is you’d be admitting to Having some other dudes dick in your ass sucking some other dudes Cock and I mean Do you really Think your boyfriend Is gonna like it when you tell him you Had some other dudes Dick in your ass because after you tell him you had sex with another man if he Forgives you each time he has sex with you he is gonna know that some other dudes dick was in your ass and pussy and mouth you don’t have to say You sucked or were butt fucked by another man he’s going think it and will never see your holes the same.

[Asker]

and I have to accept that he cheated on my damn b-day last Feb, that while at the time I've been a faithful girl (at least till now), he was out lying, screwing around, god knows how many times it happened, continue replaying the movie of him lying and cheating, replaying the the movie of the text I've read
We get affected too. I didn't want to hug him when I found out he cheated. It took me longer and I still get triggers of that texts I've read and the fact. Plus he had caught feelings for the other girl and only ended his affair because she dumped him, not because he would've ended it.

[Asker]

If he comes up with that BS, well then my reply is:
''Well before you cheated, I thought you were a strong, loyal man with integrity. Instead you're weak. I wanted to hurt you. Now see what's it like to suffer the hurt you've placed upon me. I was a sweet, innocent girl when I met you, free of malice. You've ruined me.''

[YourFavoriteFriend]

Seeing stories like this makes me believe more and more in the saying that: "people attract people with similar values".

I don't even want to talk about how fucked up your story is. You are both terrible and you deserve each other! As a guy, I would be more safe knowing girls like you are not free and I won't risk crossing path and get fooled by your cute smile.

[SarahS98]

Same here. I just don't understand why people cheat. I also don't understand the OP's nor my dad's decision to have a revenge affair. If I got cheated on, I would be happy to leave and move on with my life.
I guess the OP and her boyfriend do deserve each other just like my parents. I love my parents, that won't change but (and I also found out about their past cheating history 3 months ago by reading dad's private journal) I don't agree with taking back a cheater nor cheating back.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

@SarahS98 I would also move if my partner cheated. I do not play games, neither I do forgive something so important.

Also, I read your comment and I love the stance that you keep with your parents and how you said that your parents, while it worked for them, they are the exception and not the rule. I'm very happy when I do see people see logically and not with their feelings! Have a great day!

[Asker]

Wow even after cheating back at him, the hurt and rage isn't going away. I think I'm going to break up and not even tell him about my revenge cheating. Now I'm feeling more rage and disgust towards him, esp the part of him cheating on my b-day.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

> even after cheating back at him, the hurt and rage isn't going away

I don't believe it! SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKING!

[Asker]

Ok guys I dumped him. He doesn't know about my revenge cheating, whatever. I'm not ever going to waste a single minute of my time with a cheater ever again. 6 months was too sweet.

[SarahS98]

Good for you. Don't ever take back a cheater and realize that two wrong don't make a right. You should've been the better person and end it instead of wasting time.

[blushing_boots]

This relationships is way too dysfunctional and immature. He didn't respect you in the first place because he cheated and then withheld than information for ages. And you cheated in retaliation? Showing immense immaturity. This is a relationship by name only and not by the shared qualities of respect, emotional maturity, loyalty and love (because you don't treat someone that way if you care deeply for them). It's up to you but from the outside looking in it seems you bring out the worst in each other and it should end. Any "good behaviour" done in vein to make up for past disloyalty is utterly worthless and you're now behaving in the same deceitful way as him. Do you really need others to tell you that relationship is terrible?

[Asker]

If I break-up with him eventuallly (I'm raging and at the same time still love him), I think I won't tell him about what I did.

[Danny_dan92]

You doing this, is condoning his behavior. And positively reinforcing it to continue to happen.




You know what that means? Time to take his dick out of your soul. Cause let’s be honest. Most women can’t let go of a man cause of the sex.


To which, why would you when he’a dipping that same dick in other vaginas. Have some self worth

[Asker]

If you've seen my updated posts, I dumped him yesterday night. I never told him about my revenge cheating. Pointless. I'm taking a break from dating at this moment.

[Danny_dan92]

I did revenge cheating myself. It’s not worth it, good on you for doing what’s best for yourself in this situation

[bamesjond0069]

You just ruined the relationship. Basically all men cheat eventually if they are presented with opportunities. I'm not saying he wasn't wrong but you basically threw away your relationship over something that everyone does. Reason is women generally don't cheat, especially being a virgin. That was very special and now it's not anymore. You're really stupid for being 27.

[Asker]

And why on earth should we still be expected to be a faithful and devoted girl to a cheater? Before the cheating, I really thought he was a brave, loyal man of integrity. He destroyed that image to me. Now all I see is a weak man like the others, the common man that you find everywhere, nothing special in him.
Even after cheating back, I'm still angry and hurt. I'm still raging over the fact that one of the days he chose to cheat was on my damn b-day. To be that's total disrespectful, as if he doesn't care one bit about me. Now I'm so angry at this moment. I don't feel like hugging him nor getting intmate with him.

[Asker]

I didn't ruin the relationship, he did. I feel that ever since I find out he cheated, it's like I didn't have a relationship anymore.

[bamesjond0069]

"like the others" surprise... your man... is a man. Women seem to have very unrealistic expectations these days.

[Asker]

What a load of garbage. Being loyal in a relationship is the bare minimum. How much lower can someone be if cheating is accepted?
By saying he's a man, that's like excusing yourself. That means you're literally saying the male gender is like an animal without any self-control at all. Technically, the female human is an animal too. We're all animals and way before marriage was even invented, way back to the caveman times, we all reproduce.

[bamesjond0069]

Loyal as a man and woman is different. If men were so loyal in the past, how were they loyal to multiple wives? Which was common practice by the way.

[Asker]

There are 5 places where a woman has more than one husband aka polyandry:
guardian.ng/.../

[bamesjond0069]

Let's dive into your source.

1. Right from the jump they agree it is not nearly as heard of happening: "It is not unheard of for men to have more than one wife with many cultural practices and religions of the world even supporting the habit. However, it comes across as unusual to hear of a woman with multiple husbands."

2. Nigeria... well nevermind. "Although largely uncommon in Nigeria..." next.

3. India? "a minority of the people justify and practice Polyandry" oh nevermind

4. Kenya? Once... "In August 2013, Kenyan witness polyandry when two men decided to be husbands to a woman they both love." And maybe other reports but no facts.

5. China... they have weird social issues due to one child policy and overabundance of men. I wouldn't take that as an example of normal human behavior just as I wouldn't take a child raised with wolves in the wild as normal human behavior either. Also states it's only in very specific parts where it's accepted and only encouraged among poor. I don't think people aspire to behave as poor people in Nepal.

6. S America. Past tense "existed" and "may have" believed in concepts that supported it.

Take all this into account and it's a very minority behavior of women. The fact it happened once in awhile here and there doesn't mean it's the norm. For men it's very normal and has existed in one way or another in almost all societies because it is a normal desire of men to take multiple women if they are presented with the opportunity.

[Asker]

Yes there are fewer society with women sharing more than one husband but it does exist. I don't care at this moment.
DONE. He's been begging lol. I dumped him without telling him about my revenge cheating. I just said it all out, told him he was a lying, cheating POS. I had so much anger.

[Asker]

I will not tolerate another cheater in my life ever again.

[bamesjond0069]

You will be single then or find the most wimpy man, one with no balls might as well be a woman. Those men might be faithful and have less options to cheat. So that's what you're going to be stuck with.

[Asker]

If I'm single then good. If the only option is tolerating men cheating because that's what all men do then I'd rather be single and happy.
All I know is there are faithful men out there. My parents are faithful to each other. No lying, worthless cheater deserves special meals nor a cleaned housed. I'm not giving my all to a liar.

[LazerBean]

Congratulations, you lowered your value to his level now. Which would be zero. Maybe in a few years once youve consistently stopped making retarded decisions, you will have some value again.

[Asker]

That's why I'm fighing my own inner demons now. I didn't even care about the friends with benefits guy (yeah he was cute but whatever, I felt no feelings for him) too much; I only did it for revenge.
I don't have the moral grounds anymore. Yet the fact that my boyfriend continue expressing remorse, giving me access to all his accounts, working to earn my trust that I don't know if I should keep his farcade of letting him think he's the only one in the wrong continue or just confess.

[FilmGuy93]

Oof... honestly, this relationship is so toxic and unhealthy that I think both of you would be fools to want to stick around. Whether you confess to the revenge cheating or not, y'all have some major personal healing to do.

[Asker]

I'm fighting my own battle of whether continue letting him think he's the only one in the wrong or set the score straight and confess. Then again, once I confess... I guess that means I no longer get to rub his cheating in his face too much and he'll have the ''you're no better now'' to reply back with.

[FilmGuy93]

I don't even understand how this is a personal battle for you at this point. That thought is like you pouring acid on your own hand so you can throw it on him, while debating whether you should tell him you've been pouring acid on your own hand.

[Asker]

Now I'm thinking this revenge cheating didn't do anything much. The angry and hurt of what he did is still there. I can't get over it.

[FilmGuy93]

The revenge cheating absolutely did not do anything. It’s just prolonging and spreading the pain.

[Asker]

yes now I'm feeling that I should leave soon. I woke up with all that outrage all over again. The part that angers me the most is he cheated on my own b-day, my way. I can't get over that. Now I don't ever want to hug him nor get intimate with him. I'm soooooo furious.

[Anonymous]

Wow both of yous are assholes you're a bigger one then him because you did it out of spite and revenge which is wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right. What he did was wrong but what you did was far worse. And no I'm not excusing his actions. He's a piece of shit for what he did, but you're an even bigger one for why you did what you did

[Opinion Owner]

I been cheated on but never stooped to that level nor would i ever

[Asker]

I guess I should be the one breaking up without ever telling him about it. I do feel some guilt but part of me feels he deserved it. He did on my b-day so I did it on his b-day too.

[Opinion Owner]

What's worse is you used another get your friends with benefits to extract revenge. Wow you really are a despicable human being. You're using people for your own petty purposes wow that's just wrong on so many levels

[Asker]

Ever heard that everyone is born a clean slate? People react differently towards getting cheated on. It's devastating to the innocent mind.
I was an innocent, sweet girl when he met me. I was free of malice, didn't have it in me to use people. He ruined me.

[Asker]

He corrupted my innocent mind with his disgusting cheating, he contaminated my soul, my personality, etc. I've changed because of him.

[Opinion Owner]

You're trying to over justify your despicable actions now. You used another guy your friends with benefits to extract your revenge. Using and manipulating now 1 but 2 people. Granted one did you wrong but what you did was far worse. You know what you may have gotten your revenge but at what cost? Karma will always come back at you. Just think of the outcry if the situation had been reversed how many people would be attacking him. Whatever reasons you have are bullshit. I been in your shoes and i still never stooped to your level. I been cheated on but never acted or behaved as reprehensible as you did

[Asker]

I think I'm going to break up without telling him about my revenge cheating. My anger is overwhelming and this revenge cheating did nothing to make me feel better. I'm still feeling the hurt and rage from his cheating.

[Opinion Owner]

you wanna know a little secret.. time doesn't heal wounds it just leaves nasty scars

[Opinion Owner]

think of this as a learning experience

[Asker]

I just dumped him and called him every bad word in the dictionary I could think of, a lying cheating POS. I had too much anger. The only thing though I didn't tell him about my revenge cheating. No point.

[Twalli]

Did you cheat after you found out? If so, then you may be able to justify it more. If you did after you found out, explain why you felt like you needed to do it. If you feel guilty for it, as he does, you may be able to work through it

[Asker]

Actually I'm back to single now. I've already dumped him. I didn't tell him about the revenge cheating. No point. He didn't confess himself so whatever I ain't telling either.

[Mia-Wallace]

[Utopia1]

Don’t confess let him squirm. Keep having fun with your FWBs thing and have fun with it. He’ll never find out. Don’t leave any trails and you’ll be fine and happy

[Asker]

I think I'm going to break up. I'm so outrage right now thinking about the day he cheated on my own b-day and creating possible movie scenes of him spending the night in her house and getting intimate. I can't get over it at all.

[Dreamclouds]

Just confess and move on. You will feel much better. Indeed the purity and beauty of your relationship, love and connection between souls is gone and will never come back.

[Asker]

He ruined me, ruined my mind, my pure soul. I never had malice to hurt back someone before.

[Dreamclouds]

It is sad and pitty, through your malice was a mistake because it only tainted you but I do get it.

[Asker]

And now I'm realizing my anger and hurt hasn't gone away. I cheated back and I'm afraid it didn't work. Yes I love him but I'm raging too. I think what is more infuriating to me is the fact that he had the nerve to cheat on my own b-day last Feb of 2021.

[Dreamclouds]

I know it will sound idealistic but it is easier to feel love for everybody anger only hurts yourself or hate or anything in that range. He was a real shitty person forgive but don't forget and move on... you have to. Maybe next love will be more pure and beautiful with a connection between souls accordingly.

[Asker]

I just ended. I've realized I can't never get over getting cheated and have my trust broken. I've wasted 6 months of my time. I'll never take back a cheater ever again.

[Dreamclouds]

I think you took the right choice, I am sure it was hard... but life should be a pleasant and beautiful journey not one that taints your soul and mind with unpleasant things, there are a lot of other problems anyway at least the person next to us should really love us not make things more difficult

[LadiesFavoriteToy]

Once a cheater always a cheater. He will expose your cheap woman sympathetic nature and cheat on. you again.

[Asker]

What about him? I only did it because he hurt me first.

[Anonymous]

I feel you are not telling the whole story and as if you have compelled him to cheat on you but you're not saying it.

[Asker]

Are you saying I deserved to get cheated on and should accept it?
If so then his cheating (esp on my damn b-day) and the devastating news of finding that out contributed to my revenge cheating. He cheated and he compelled me to revenge cheat.

[Opinion Owner]

That's what i mean. You were hiding something from the story.
Since you both cheated on each other you both deserve each other. Keep on cheating and getting cheated on. You're both the perfect match. I see no issues here.

[Asker]

I just dumped him, told him everything I needed to say about him except my revenge cheating. He doesn't know I cheated back.

[Opinion Owner]

That of course works too. It's the more sensible thing to do. Well then. Good luck with the next one.

[spartan55]

Wow, you both deserve each other.

[Asker]

I'm dumping him soon though. This revenge cheating didn't make me feel better. I still feel the hurt and outrage of when he cheated and one of the days was my b-day.

[spartan55]

You've mentioned the fact that he cheated on your birthday about 100 times in this post...😂

[spartan55]

Dumping him 'soon'? Wtf is the holdup?

[Asker]

I want to dump today in person when he gets done with work.

[spartan55]

Always the best way.

[Asker]

DONE. He's been begging lol. I dumped him without telling him about my revenge cheating. I just said it all out, told him he was a lying, cheating POS. I had so much anger.

[spartan55]

Good for you. When you end moving on to another guy remember this advice: people will show you who they are very early in a relationship. Believe them.

[Asker]

Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. I'm going to now take a break from the dating world. I'm not ready to date at this moment. It's too soon.

[spartan55]

I think that is a good decision.

[OddBeMe]

Yeah he cheated other times. Prob will again.

[Asker]

I've already dumped him. I blocked him too.

[OddBeMe]

Good. Don’t lose sleep over this guy. Dodged a bullet.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Delusional.

[Asker]

I'm actually going to break up and won't tell him anything about the revenge cheating. I feel disgust towards him at this point.