Too busy for a relationship?

Question

This guy I’ve been talking to for a month has blown me off cause he thinks I’ll be too busy for a relationship. That’s not entirely true. I am working 2 jobs during the day and will be off during the night, so yes I do have time for a relationship.
He, on the other hand says he really likes me but can’t date me because of my schedule.
Yes I’ve told him I have time.
Is this just a BS excuse for not being in a relationship with me?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I've never been successful in romantic relationships yet (I am in my late 20's) and yes some consider me as an involuntary celibate but I've been very successful in my career and I was financially well off and I thought maybe I can't buy happiness with money but it will definitely save me from misery to some extent.

I was passing time with the money I was making and all my joys are momentary and my live lacked any purpose and over the past 7 years that had a huge psychological toll on me and started having health issues that are common for someone is mid 30's or above. So I've eventually quit my job and started working on my health, and looking for love again.

NO, I don't think people can function properly with out rewards (not money, rewards like love, sex and other pleasurable activities with loved ones).

If someone says they are too busy for relationships they is lying or they just want to keep their relationships secretive for some reason (like stigma or legal reasons etc.,.) if they truly believe they are that busy then they are lying to themselves in the first place.

A person can say that if he or she has kids and the kids are more important than their personal romantic relationships (even still they have already been in at least 1 romantic relationship once and are in another non romantic relationship with their kids).

BullShark · Accepted Answer

To put it simply, yes, you can be too busy for a relationship and most people who don't wanna bother with juggling a job or their studies with their love life, frequently make this excuse, so as to not make the other person feel bad. But again, in the end, it all comes down to preferences and what your priorities are. If the other person's important enough for you, you still indeed make time for them some how.

Lynnfriend · Accepted Answer

Well maybe he is the type of guy that require a lot of time. Then there is the type that if you have sex with them 4 or 5 times a week, feed them everyday, do there laundry and keep the house up they don't care if your around, or the type that just wants sex doesn't care about the house can fix something to eat themselves and doesn't care if your around or not. I quess what I am getting at is there are a lot of different types of relationships you just need to talk with him and fund out what he needs out of a relationship and if it works with you or not if it doesn't then you need to let him go or you will both b unhappy. If you truly love him you don't want that. I Been thinking about this a lot lately. You both have to have the same ideas about how you want your life together or it doesn't work you will do nothing but fight all the time. Have resentments that later Wil change love to hate. Unless there is more to it than that. Maybe he is not done playing around yet and doesn't want to limit himself to one women. Hts what you need to find out.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

Yes and no, it depends on how much and how often he wants to get together, what he considers a relationship.

If he wants to get together daily for hours, every single day... doesn't sound like you'd have the time for that, or if you do, you'll be too tired to do stuff.

If he is good with once or twice a week, that seems totally doable.

Then again, there is his schedule and maybe his free time isn't the same as your free time.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Sounds like one to me. I don’t know why people make up excuses not to be with someone when telling the truth is not only more respectful, it’s more effective..

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Sounds lke a convenient excuse and utter nonsense.

ohsheeT · Answer

When you're in any type of relationship if you understand and respect the person that you're in that relationship with you understand what they're doing what they're going through what it takes and you back there play and you make it work if there's always a person saying well what about me what about me what about me and no matter what you do it's not good enough you said you have two jobs that means you have bills that you need to pay in order to live survive and be happy and if they want to take that time away from you then what now you're broke can't pay your bills and you lose everything it's very hard to keep doing what you do to live the way that you want to live or at least get ahead but when you have somebody that wants your time that's all good that's all fine but in the moment you can only give what you can give it doesn't mean it's going to last forever it means you need to get ahead and people need to respect that or he needs to respect that

big_ben_007 · Answer

Absolutely. I've been getting stood up on dates since I was 14. Some girls spend a LOT of time with their family, then they have work, then they socialize with other girls a LOT. They won't admit they're too busy but they are.

Same with guys. Guys tend to spend a lot of time on their hobbies like making music, gaming, going out with the guys and drinking with the guys. Those guys let nothing interfere with their hobbies

Flower7 · Answer

This sounds like nothing but an excuse on his part. He has no right to make decisions for you by making assumptions about what you do or don’t have time for. To me, it seems like he’s simply not interested in being in a relationship with you and is looking for a reason to not get involved.

NathanDavis · Answer

yes, definitely...

which is why I was single during the pandemia

I do like relationships to be mostly, about quality time and also closeness

texting on the phone an our a day, and meeting every two weeks to go out will never do it for me...

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

You’re asking two different questions here.
A person can definitely be too busy to be in a relationship.
It’s not an excuse for him to not be in a relationship. Clearly he wants a relationship, likely even with you. But he believes he’s worth more time than you’re prepared to offer. He’s probably right. You should at least consider adjusting your availability to find out if you agree with his self assessment. You might be about to let a keeper get away.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

Wow this is exactly my exact scenario right now. I feel the same as he does, she’s a nurse and her schedule is crazy. I do feel you can be to busy only if you’re not willing to try and make it work. The key is are you trying and is it working, or do you constantly have to blow off future plans you already agreed on?

AdithyaR · Answer

I think the more important question is why you keep pursuing him.
Irrespective of whether he actually thinks the busy reason or whether he's not interested, why did you want to pursue someone who's saying no.
Wouldn't you be better off with someone who actually wants to be with you?

lightbulb27 · Answer

yes it is possible as what one is doing takes their energy and a relationship takes more energy. But more likely, he isn't emotionally good (from the last one) or just not interested enough or interested enough right now.

sphinx23 · Answer

No matter how busy he is, if he really likes you, he'll make time. He will be willing to sacrifice his time. Why? Because you're that important for him.

SeriouslyFunny00 · Answer

It's an excuse. Guys who genuinely likes you are pragmatic and will always find solution to make it work. 🙂

Taylor_C · Answer

Certainly. If both parties aren't willing to invest time into each other there won't be much of a relationship.

Redhead1981 · Answer

If you want to be with someone you will make time to be with them. I believe it's just an excuse if he really wanted to be with you, he would take whatever time you had to share.

CA4444 · Answer

Well what he’s really saying I guess is that you’re not devoting enough time for him so you’d have to find a way to change that?

lifeamystery · Answer

Your life is too busy. Two job and only night time is available. What happens if he wants to have breakfast or lunch? The thing is you will be at work and you will be too busy for him.

hismave · Answer

He's obviously not ready for a relationship. You can't be too busy for a relationship. He's not ready to commit to you. That's what I understand by that behaviour. How can u love something but not have time for it.

Mikeysoda · Answer

Absolutely, if its not ones priority. What ever is important, that individual will make it happen.

Purpul · Answer

[No, he sized-you-up to his liking/preference/and submissive-woman-type. He’s being honest. Move-on.]

PinkMichae · Answer

Maybe he knows that he is more needy so wants someone who has more time than you can give.

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