If a relationship starts off rocky, even with change, is it best to still let go, move on and start over with someone new/fresh?

[Anonymous]

By this I mean, if the relationship was built off abuse, disrespect, gaslighting, manipulation, being used for sex or money etc Will it matter if any of that changes? Considering the effects those things have already had on you and the relationship. It’s like no matter how much things change, those things will always haunt you guys and the relationship. It would seem to me the best solution would be to break up mutually and when or if either of you are ever ready to date again, it would be better to start dating new people. To give yourselves fresh, new and better starts. I feel like a relationship that starts off rough in the way I described, even with change, there still will never truly be peace and happiness.

[Anonymous]

I would say that if a relationship starts off with abuse, disrespect, gaslighting, manipulation, or being used for sex or money, it can be very difficult to build a healthy and trusting relationship with that person. Even if one or both partners work to change their behavior and attitudes, the effects of past trauma and mistreatment can linger and make it difficult to fully trust or feel safe with that person.

In situations like this, it may be best to consider ending the relationship and focusing on healing and personal growth. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to surround yourself with people who treat you with respect and dignity. Starting fresh with a new partner can be a way to build a relationship based on mutual trust, respect, and understanding, and to leave behind the negative experiences of the past.

However, it's important to remember that every situation is unique, and it's ultimately up to each individual to determine what they feel is best for themselves and their relationships. It may be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor as you navigate these decisions and work towards healing and growth.

[LazerBean]

If things are already at the beginning, when most people tend to be putting their best foot forward, then it is extremely likely that is only going to get worse from there.

[Asker]

That’s how i see it. If they’re are showing the worse in themselves during a time when most people show their best sides, even if it’s fake or pretend, then I would say there’s no good future in that relationship even if they do decide to do better or change things around. Then it’ll be too late, things will be too ruined. Like if a person starts off abusive and the other continues to forgive and go back but during the times when they leave, before forgiving and returning, they run and cry and vent to family and friends about it just to return anyway. So even if or when the abuse stops in the future, the reason, well one of the reasons I say the relationship will still be ruined, is because family and friends will never accept them or forgive them the way you have. You can always say “Well it’s not about them or what they want. It’s about us.” But realistically if those you love and care about and have cared about and loved long before he/she entered your life, don’t like or accept them, you guys new and transformed loved for each other will never be enough.

[Wise4myage]

Yes, theirs too many things to overcome in such a relationship.