I don't feel like my feelings are as strong as my girlfriend's. What should I do in this situation?

Question

My girl is much more emotionally attached to me than vice versa. This is my first real relationship, and I don't feel like my feelings can be described as "love" or anything like that. Of course, I like her; she is cute and beautiful, but I think I was always more interested in the sexual aspect of our relationship, and reality just hit me when she started telling me, "I love you." Whenever she says this, I always say, "I love you too" or "Me too," but it rubs me the wrong way when I say that, as if I am lying. I feel like experiencing true love is too early for me. What am I supposed to do in this situation? I don't want to break her heart because she is pure and innocent. I think I am just unsure of my feelings for her.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

Okay good! Very good, you’re asking and that you have a conscience! Lol

The BEST option you can do IS honesty and offer some type of alternative or support to let her wean herself off of you, and the idea of an intimate relationship with you.

You can say what you truly feel, and say you care enough about her as a person, to tell her the truth because she as an exceptional individual, who deserves the truth.

*Then add, you’d be willing to be friends or keep in touch with her for a bit, until she finds a nice guy to date.* Finds someone else is what I mean.

So she doesn’t feel totally alone in that, and at a loss. It’s the best anyone could do in this situation.

If it feels too much, while waiting for her, you can say that later, saying: you thought It’d be easy to wait for her or anyone to find someone, but you don’t wish to feel depended on this way. Adults all the time are either hooking up or making passes because that’s how it works in love, courtship, or even one night stands, and you shouldn’t have to be the person that helps her cope emotionally if your answer happens to be no, and if she says no to some guy or a guy says no to her, neither should have to wait for them to find someone else or to cope because we all have a very real goal of finding like-minded (you can say like-minded because you want more sexual things than romantic- which is fine) people in this world of about 7 billion. So obviously there is a time limit, and you can say to her: I may have said no, but now, you shouldn’t waste your time crying for me and instead, try to find your lucky one, one who’d seem like me but even better to you, so that you can live a life with healthy companionship, if companionship is one of the goals that you still have.

Make sure to convey it to her in this way, so that she understands what she needs to. If you just say the honest and hurtful truth, and walk away, she will focus on ALL the wrong things, as we all tend to do.

We internalize and we exaggerate the truths and become these ‘walking downward spirals of hopelessness,’ at times (when we were the most passionate, and received losses, instead of reciprocation).

You will both be fine!

best to you! And try not to make this particular situation a recurring one! ☝️ 😭

🙌🫶

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Well, stop saying "I love you too," and telling this girl lies, because you ARE lying to her.

I'm glad you're finally admitting to yourself that you're uncomfortable with this. But you are going to have to sit down and talk to her and ultimately, you are going to have to break up with her.

You like the sex, she wants a relationship AND sex. You don't want both. And please, stop being so conceited as to think you'll break her heart. Sure, you'll hurt her feelings and she'll be sad, but you will be doing her a favor by leaving her to find someone who WILL love her and is not simply a fuck buddy, because that is what you are: a friend with benefits.

You're cheating her. Do the right thing and tell her your ACTUAL feelings. "Gina, you are a great person and I love being intimate with you, but I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. I like you a lot, but I'm more interested in having sex with you than in a longterm relationship."

And do NOT tell her you can be friends. She does not want this, but will SAY she can accept that. MAKE A CLEAN BREAK. And find someone who wants what you want: a friendship with sex-- not a love relationship. There is plenty of time for both of you to find what you want. You're just not a good match.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’ve been in this situation once before. Some women will argue otherwise but personally I think it’s a better scenario if the woman has higher interest level in the man than vice versa.

Reason being is women are always subconsciously shit testing men and often don’t even realize it. The more they like the guy the less they will do and the easier the tests will be. So the best case scenario is when the woman has a slightly higher interest level in the man than vice versa.

I heavily emphasize slightly. This will keep her mind straight against rejecting him for unfair, fickle or stupid reasons. However if she is way more into him then vice versa then there is a problem. The man will usually stick around longer than a woman would in this scenario. Most men don’t encounter women we find at least semi attractive who are really into us very often. Simply because we generally have fewer options. So men often hesitate and have stronger feelings of guilt.

Anyway are you annoyed by her loving you too much? Is it a big turnoff? Or is it just making you nervous?

RoastedToast · Accepted Answer

As wonderbell said it, don't stress over it. Just let things happen and continue as you are and don't stress over it. Maybe the girl did get attached quickly I don't know the context. Just go at your own pace and don't force anything.

It's different for everyone just keep doing you and if it you think back about it one day and you can say it becomes genuine then good for you dude. It takes time. You don't get a best friend with years worth of memories over night, do you.

Now I've been there myself about a girl liking me more than vice versa and for me personally it just take longer for me to get to that point. I lied as well to not make her feel bad so I can't judge. I just let things happen until I felt the same way and could say it back earnestly.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Just be honest with her if you truly care not to hurt her. Tell her you’re unsure and don’t ever comfort her with a sugarcoated I love you to not hurt her. You’re not just lying to her but yourself. Let her go!

WonderBell99 · Answer

A lot of people commenting on your post do not realize that it takes a while to truly fall in love with someone. Emotional attachment =/= love. For how long have you guys been dating? If you’ve been dating for around 6-8 months and you still don’t feel like you could fall in love with her, well, you really should break up. Relationships needn’t always be 50/50. It’s normal for a person to be more “invested” in the relationship. (Not implying that only one person should be invested or anything).

You should not feel pressurized/obligated to tell “I love you” if you feel like it’s too soon or if you don’t genuinely feel that way about her.

Also, what do you mean by “emotionally attached?” In an unhealthy way or…?

Keyboardkat · Answer

This is what happens when you separate sex from love. Guys can just do it with anyone. All she has to be is female and breathing. But for girls it's not that way at all. Most girls have to get to know you and to trust you and have feelings for you before they'll get sexual with you. And a sexual relationship, especially for a girl, becomes a powerful bond. This is why I, as a guy, do NOT believe in the old double standard. You've already set her up for a broken heart.
If you at least LIKE her, and if you think she MIGHT be a keeper for you, what I could suggest doing is acting in a loving way toward her, because the experience has been that if you treat someone that way, you will start to feel that way toward them.
But if this relationship breaks up, my only advice to you would be, next time, hold off. Don't be in such a hurry to jump into bed, no matter how irresistible you find her. The feelings must come first!

arodriguez664 · Answer

Break up with her. DO NOT drag the poor girl through your journey to figure yourself out. My ex boyfriend was the same he didn't love me as much as I loved him. It was torture. I finally left him when I realized we both weren't happy. We were together for 12 long years. He felt bad he didn't love me as much and I felt horrible knowing he didn't love me as much as I loved him. Being in a relationship where I know my boyfriend loves me as much of not more than I love him is much better. Definitely worth leaving my ex

Luopio27 · Answer

Your relationship just got out of hand. You are lying to yourself when tou say I love you too. Wanting sex is a natural thing and getting into a relationship is rarely as black and white as stories of high school kids dating a girl only to get laid and brag about it to their friends.

You have her now, but when she is gone, you may grow stronger feelings for her. Or not. I dont know. But I do know that telling her what you told us is is right for both of you. Gives both a chance to be honist.

I know its easier said than done but good luck and god speed.

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone does not fall in love at the same time. It takes others longer, especially if they’ve been through some emotional trauma in their life, or a combination of emotional and physical. You don’t have to feel bad about this. Besides this is your first real relationship as you said so you have nothing to compare it to as far as what you’re really supposed to be feeling. My girl is the same, but I don’t reciprocate it all the same way she does. Sometimes I feel like I don’t love her, but over time I’ve realized I do I just show it differently. Mainly by being therefor all things, taking care of us financially, making sure she’s taken care of as far as her needs, being a protector. But you have to understand as well that one person will always love the other person more no matter what. I wouldn’t say I love you unless you really mean it. There’s different kinds of love. How old are you? How long have you two been together?

Anonymous · Answer

Ask yourself what you want in a girl. Don't listen to other girls about this. They are giving you purely emotional advice because they are connecting to their own story. You're not in harmony with this girl so far. That's means either you will have to change or she will if you want to be in harmony. You might find she is what you want after you take a deep dive into thinking about it. And don't list characteristics with no purpose. Everyone does that. What kind of relationship do you want and what type of girl can give you that?

So just figure out that first and then you can make a decision. Don't listen to nobody about your life. You make the decision. It's your life. You have the right to do what you want. Regardless if it is moral or not. You will also have to pay the consequences.

I hope you choose the right choice. I know at that age I wouldn't fucked up. I was so stupid back then.

Purpleronnie · Answer

You really shouldn’t say you love someone until you feel like that’s true and certainly not because the other person says it to you. Your kinda ignorantly playing with her emotions , re-enforcing a relationship that really doesn’t exist as she understands it. It’s time for you to look inside yourself and determine how you actually feel and either commit fully or stop leading her on , doing damage and wasting her time

EricSummer · Answer

It's not the worst place to be in. Best give it some time and allow yourself to get attached to her in your own pace.
Could it be that you are seeing love as more exceptional than it is? You are definitely not too young for love.
You could admit to her that you are not yet comfortable saying that you love her. On the other hand you could "fake it until you make it". It's quite possible that you are almost there already.

WriterDreams · Answer

Stop saying you love her.

If you don't or you are not sure.

Don't say it.

Saying I love you to a girl when you don't will leave scars you cannot erase. Believe me I have been and we'll still are in your girl friends shoes.

Just be honest with her and yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

you have some serious problems. this girl doesn't deserve you only "liking" her. if you don't love her, don't date her... seriously. this will hurt her more if you keep pretending saying i love you and junk. if you're only interested in sex, then you need to be single and go mess around like that. what you are doing is wasting her time and dragging her along. doesn't feel very nice.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Ignore the people attacking you. You're not a bad person. I appreciate this honest question that you are asking. I know you have a good heart.

I would like to talk through these feelings, if it's alright with you.

I'll start with just a couple of questions:

1. What does love mean to you?
2. Have you ever felt love before?
3. What drew you to this girl? What made you attracted to her?
4. What are the core things that you want from a relationship with a woman?

itsaboutthyme · Answer

I was in your shoes. I didn't realize that it was because deep down, I was telling myself that I didn't deserve that love. If it bothers you, it's just that you're not willing to accept others trying to prove your low self value wrong. Regardless, this is a mess for relationships. Don't mess someone else's self value up just because you can't figure your own out.

Anonymous · Answer

Don’t lie about loving someone, why don’t you try to do more fun things together that aren’t sex and see if you can get to know her better if that’s the problem. Some people take longer to feel it and that’s ok but you should never pretend if she says it you can always say something genuine that you appreciate about her back like you’re beautiful I’m so lucky to have you or something.

ZackBan · Answer

Here's what you do

You get down on both knees and thank your lucky stars my guy.

A relationship only thrives if the woman is more in love than the man.
In a reverse situation you'd be a gonner. Women put feelings above all other benefits of being with someone.
Men tend to compartmentalize, talk about the up side and down side.

Just trust me I've seen the other side of this coin. YOU are winning

Adam1978 · Answer

Nothing, unless you guys has been fucking around like rabbits and you still don't feel like it. Men pair bond through sex and physical contact. If that has already been going on, this might actually be the most you will ever feel for her. Then it's up to you to decide if you fine with this state or find someone you can love deeper.

Christoff92 · Answer

Hmmm. For what you said in your situation. Love is blind. Would never disappear. She says she loves you which you're being a great guy to her. Your feelings for her are strong. Am sensing that you have shyness or never had that much love growing up.

Could you gave any grief. Then talk with her about it. You want to really love her so talk to her if you have any situation with growing up. She'll understand really 😀

SphynxUK · Answer

You liked her and started dating. It’s not your fault if you realise it isn’t love. That’s how lots of relationships go.
It isn’t pleasant, but you’ll need to tell her you don’t feel the same. The sooner the better. Tell her she’s lovely and this and that, but although you wish it was, you’re heart isn’t in it.

Anonymous · Answer

1. I don't feel like my feelings can be described as "love"

2. I always say, "I love you too" or "Me too," . . . when I say that, as if I am lying.

AS IF you are lying? Isn't that just a lie?

You have no obligation to fall in love with her but most people expect you to be honest. You are lyin to her because you don't want to break up and that means the sex would come to an end.

bobthe1st · Answer

Feelings change over time, my first girlfriend was the same. I broke up with her at the time wanting space buy looking back she was one of the few girls I've actually loved... I mean this might help... love if love because love inspit true love incompreces all aspects of this... I would spend time thinking of her qualities and be grateful it's not the other way around with you two.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Don't be in a rush, it might just take a while longer. Someday you might just wake up and go you know I really do love her. Then again you might not. Time will tell.

Vegasrunner · Answer

This is very normal for younger guys. You're probably getting your first taste of consistent sex and don't want to give it up. The fact you're unsure about your feelings is probably what's attracting her to you. Women rarely take accountability for their flaws do what you're probably going to have to do is convince her that she's breaking up w/ you.

miadee · Answer

Tell her to you guys should take it slow, you need to process your feelings. If you don't let her know she'll end up hurt more. If you care about her, just gently talk to her and let her know.

Anonymous · Answer

Just stay her and use her for sex. It's much better when the other person cares more than you do in a relationship. You have a lot of the benefits without the risk of getting hurt. Just make sure to treat her with respect. Don't feel too bad. a lot of women use men for free meals or free things 🤷.

8UniquelyBoring8 · Answer

You tell her the truth, and let her go.
Let her find somebody who is willing to love her back, it’s not your fault she isn’t for you and it isn’t hers either.
You have the power here to hurt somebody more than you have to, choose not to.

bedroomeyes · Answer

Don't stay in any situation where you feel like you want to jump out of your skin. It's okay to not be as into her as she is into you. It is shitty of you to lead her on when all you wanted was sex, however. It's better to cut things off ASAP.

dreamer123912 · Answer

There is nothing wrong with you, I believe you are just in the wrong relationship. I think you should discuss it with her or end the relationship. I was in a similar situation and I am glad I ended it.

rogerlewis767 · Answer

I am New members of this porn website. I wanna to share my porn and sex experience with my girlfriend. I really enjoy with her while fucking her.. Her big boobs and ass make me crazy. I took more beautiful lusty girls porn from top paid porn sites by

Anemone978 · Answer

Break up.. just be honest and say what it is.. no need to drag it out when you don't feel the same way.

Cute_potato01 · Answer

She cares for u don't back away bc she's emotional. Besides as a gurl knowing that ur been used for sex is terrible n heart breaking

slatyb · Answer

If she's not it, then you have to end it now. Yes, she will be hurt but she will be hurt more if you string her along for a year.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Girlies have no reserve, well except for giving up the pussy sometimes. They tend to run out their girlfriend batteries pretty fast. Chill for a couple months and you'll have plenty of time to catch up.

Curious_teen07 · Answer

Talk to her about it openly. Spend a while separate and then come back

Lady_Heart · Answer

U knw very well what u feel n want. If u can't reciprocate be honest with her. Dont wait till she falls harder n u hurt her badly.

fonduegirl · Answer

You should communicate this. Out of all the douche bags on GaG, you sound like the most decent one.

xoxooxoxoxo · Answer

Dont get into relationships with unresolved issues u have. go to therapy!

Wild_princess · Answer

Give time some time... and have a talk with her to not expect too much from you

Anonymous · Answer

Tell her your true feelings. Don't use her like most men do.

Rizzlekicked · Answer

I felt this before and I really tried to push myself to match it but it just never happened

Actor3 · Answer

Tell her to give you more reason to love you more. Then she will ask give her a good reason why she should Before she dumps you

__JustJacky__ · Answer

U Can't Just Force Urself To Care Feelings Can't Always Be Controlled Like A Switch There's Either Guna Be A Spark Or A Fuse

Anonymous · Answer

The first ones are the best ones. Once you will leave her you won't find that quality again.

Anonymous · Answer

Tbh bro just continue using her for sex. Keep using her until she doesn’t let you anymore. Have fun while you’re young 🤷‍♂️

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Feel whatever you feel.

SeriouslyFunny00 · Answer

Ouch. Just reading this breaks my heart.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell her that your feeling is not the same as hers

Anonymous · Answer

Im tired of the unmatched effort. I’d leave

BrookeS · Answer

Leave her. Its not fair to either of you

SoJust · Answer

End your relationship

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

U could make a mistake, you might regret'.

Anonymous · Answer

Discuss this with her.

pandaking500 · Answer

Let her know about it and talk it through with her

Anonymous · Answer

Oh shit...

Iron_Man · Answer

Wow dude

In_Trance · Answer

Talk to her about it

I don't feel like my feelings are as strong as my girlfriend's. What should I do in this situation?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I don't feel like my feelings are as strong as my girlfriend's. What should I do in this situation?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.