My best guy friend is suddenly being super distant after I suggested we maybe try dating, how can I fix this?

[SomeoneUUsedtoKnow]

We get on great, see each other or talk almost every day, regularly are referred to as each other's SO by people who see us together all the time. Three different people that day made "your old lady" or "your old man" comments leading up to this moment. And I was just like, why don't we give it a shot? Obviously we get along, we spend more time with each other than anyone else, we've been taking about him moving in with me for like 6 months. We even fooled around a little once, not sex but we've been naked. Slept in the same bed together several times. He said he didn't think that it was a good idea and specifically mentioned my ex, who he knows and who was in a similar life situation when we were together which ultimately led to the breakup. I told him alright, I see your point. It was just a thought. Two weeks now and I barely see him, barely hear from him, he seems to be actively avoiding me where he used to seek me out. I just want my friend back. 😞

[Anonymous]

Was this a risk you considered before telling him how you feel? I’d be surprised if you didn’t but yeah, there’s always potential for this to be the outcome and you can’t undo what you’ve already said.
This could be him trying to set some boundaries, because while you miss his friendship, you also miss what came with it, and he won’t give you that (sleeping together naked, flirting, etc) when he knows it means more for you.
Even if you lied and said it won’t mean anything anymore, it’s just too late to convince him of that. So ultimately I say just give him space. If things go back to “normal” then great, but it has to happen naturally. If it doesn’t then don’t cry over spilled milk. At this juncture he was hardly a platonic friend and verging on boyfriend, which is too messy anyway.

[Kiss_Me]

The whole, "When Harry Met Sally" comes to mind. Friendships of the opposite sex generally exist because one friend is attracted to the other. In this case, you are attracted to him. He may not feel the same.

However, on a more positive note... The two of you ARE dating. Everyone sees it even if the two of you don't want to actually acknowledge it. I suggest having a conversation with your friend and letting him know you are cool with things. Then, ever so gently, you can slide in increasing displays of affection. Eventually, he MAY come to realize the reality of the situation. If not, you remain friends, and may even have some fun. (cough cough)

[MementoMori777]

Yep seems like you fucked it up for yourself, you made things awkward and now he's just fighting that awkwardness by avoiding you in general.

[Blueeyes81]

It will never be the same. I'be been there but it was me who suggested something more. 12 years on and we are still friends but it has never been close to the same. You get use to it.

[justabuddy]

I would let time do all the healing and not worry to much. You probably shocked him and now he doesn't know what to think, or do.

[Wise4myage]

Take it as a no, and never mention it again.