Do you think men should be financially responsible for their girlfriends/wives?

Question

I think a real man’s role in a relationship is to provide and protect. So yes, I think they should be financially responsible. But I also think it’s the women’s choice if she wants to work or not or how she wants to invest her money.

Having said that, I think the woman plays another complimentary role to take care of the man other ways.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Most men would be fine with that, AS LONG AS women likewise upheld traditional roles and standards too. And there are couples who do exactly that.

But most women today have been trained by Feminism to believe that the traditional rules and standards (for women) are unbearably oppressive and would make her a slave or prisoner, as if she were chained to the kitchen sink by her neck. Instead, they have been trained to be wage slaves themselves, and submit to their boss instead of their husbands. It's ridiculous.

Regardless, most women today want men to maintain traditional roles and provide traditional benefits, no matter the cost to him, while she is free to do whatever she likes, and provides her man with few if any benefits that traditional men could always expect in return for their sacrifices.

Men have caught on to this - it certainly took some time, because such massive changes go against everything men have always known, but men did catch on. And that's why marriages are down, children are down, and even serious commitments are down. Of course they aren't completely gone or anything, but there has been a nearly 40% decrease in the number of annual marriages compared to 30 years ago, despite a considerably larger population in the US (and this is true in most western countries).

And because so many men no longer see themselves with a wife and family, a lot of them no longer see the need to spend 12 hours a day working, as they would have before. Wives and families have ALWAYS been most men's motivation to work hard and get ahead, but having been stripped of that motivation, too many are working just hard enough to eat, sleep, play video games, and hang out with their guy friends. I don't agree with that position, but I can understand it.

The idea that you can take a complex system like gender roles in society, and make a massive change in one area (completely absolving women of their traditional standards and responsibilities) and sending them into the career world to compete with men, and expecting everything else to stay the same (so that women could enjoy the benefits of both) is at best naive and at worst foolishly ignorant.

ProbablyClueless · Accepted Answer

I mean... within reason, right? I think most men (who aren't sociopaths, at least) enjoy financially doting on the significant women in their lives, but it's too easy for situations like that to become abusive. It's sad that jerks and genuinely nice people can do things that look so similar for totally different reasons.

The man might view his financial gestures as a way to control the woman. The woman might view her sex/love/affection as a way to earn her paycheck from him. That would be a horrible approach to the relationship from either person's perspective.

I would hate to be in situation where I was financing a woman's lifestyle and the only reason she was sticking around was because she felt like she had to to keep living in her nice downtown condo.

Apple1996 · Answer

Yes If they want a traditional woman they need to be able to provide/protect her and the kids.

My hubby enjoys being able to provide for our family. I can't even imagine being with a man that expected me to work like that's just not a woman's role in life. I'm to busy breastfeeding babies, homeschooling kids, taking care of the house to work. The things I do for our family are worth more then any amount of money I could make working. If a man can't see how it is more beneficial to have a traditional woman then he isn't worth wasting time on. There are always other men out there that are happy to provide and allow a woman to be in their natural feminine role.

Avicenna · Answer

Men aren't going to go for that. For most couples, both have to work and contribute to the household and its finances. In the event that a woman is a stay-at-home mom, she needs to be willing to completely fulfill that traditional role is she expects her husband to provide everything the family needs.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I don't think a boyfriend should be financially responsible for his girlfriend, but I always pay for everything on dates. I think married couples should be financially responsible for each other.

Ali4Sy · Answer

Actually I agree with you the man is totally responsible.. BUT I think the woman has to work not only for the financial situation but because she needs to work to have that part... It's important to her to be independent and that's give her more strength and provide her with logical thinking... I totally believe that there's no one should stay at home while he/she can work...

I don't say that to assign another duties to women actually I say that to support her freedom and I think each woman has to see the outside world and how is it developing and changing... She has to be in the society and cooperates to build it and change it...

dolemite58 · Answer

i find it odd that you want the man to provide everything but the wife has “her money” to invest, isn’t it our money?

i think it all depends on the arraignment of what you guys want together, if you guys wanna have a big family then he should provide entirely while she stays home with the kids, at least while they’re little. Things are so expensive now a days i don’t think that’s always feasible for a lot of people. A lot of couples have like 1-2 kids, the dad still works full time and the wife works part time, or full time once the kids are more grown/independent.

for me, i don’t want kids so i want a girl to make her own money and i’ll make mine.

Drooogie4 · Answer

IF he expects a "traditional" type of partnership, yes. If not, then no.

I just see too many guys that essentially want a full service housewife and caretaker that they also want to go 50/50 on bills with and that is crazy to me.

A traditional wife comes with a $$.

Anonymous · Answer

I think both should be responsible for eachother. It's called a "partnership" for a reason. I would NEVER date a woman who felt it was just my job to take care of her. I mean I don't need anyone to take care of me. But it's more symbolic than anything. We may not be married. But this is why wedding vows are what they are. "For better, for worse". "In sickness and in health". If she's telling me from start point go that I'm only there to cater to her, how is that love?

No thank you!

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Marriages and relationships need to be as close to 50/50 as possible. Including time needed to do everything child raising brings with it.

If you are in a long term relationship and intend on marrying, or are already engaged, then both need to contribute nearly equal.

If a married couple intend on building a life together, it is much more difficult to do so when the other is unwilling to invest the time, money and sharing of responsibilities.

Now, if there is an understanding between the two, that is different. But don’t go into a marriage without working that out first. There is nothing worse than after a few months of marriage you discover the two of you have separate priorities.

If something bad occurs, then once that event has passed, then the two of you can return to working together again.

With the cost of living so high, it takes two and almost more than two incomes to make those dreams come true.

Anonymous · Answer

You can think whatever you want, but there is no "should" in this question as long as you embrace the good and the bad in whichever type of relationship you choose.

You clearly prefer a man to take the traditional role, which is fine as long as you are also willing to embrace and take responsibility for everything that goes with being a traditional woman. That is my preference, too, by the way. It comes with risks and potential problems for both men and women, but on average it is a better model for marriage and family, if that's what you want. Not everyone does, and that's fine.

But many women today want it both ways. They reject traditional female gender roles but want a man who accepts the responsibilities of the traditional male role. There is a lot of hypocrisy among modern women when it comes to gender roles.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

So if I'm providing 24/7 wealth and security, then 24/7 I shouldn't have to do anything around the house, and if I ask nicely for a sandwich at 2am are you going to make it with a smile on your face?

Blueeyes81 · Answer

I grew up in a traditional family, until I was 8. I have no positive memories of my dad before that age. I hardly saw him and when I did he just wanted to be left alone and decompress. I don't blame him. He worked 60 hours a week. Nights one week. Days the next week. He was not happy and it showed. When I was 8 my dad changed professions to a job he was much happier in (payed less) and he worked normal hours. My mom got a job making just over minimum wage. Overall I was happier when both worked so I got to see and spend time with both parents instead of just one.

Samantha36 · Answer

I can't imagine being in a relationship like that. I have 2 kids. 13 and 9 and I work hard so I can provide for them. My partner works and earns good money. We split everything 50 50. All the bills, food, treats, the lot. He wants to contribute more and to look after us but why should he! Whoever is home 1st does the cooking, we both clean etc. No way do I want to be a housewife!

Straitforward38 · Answer

I'm a modern man... I have an equal split relationship. I think the view that husband provides and wife is a housewife is very outdated. Certainly here in the UK. If someone asks a woman what do you do for work and they reply with im a houswife... they will get looked down upon.

I earn enough to keep my family but my partner works nearly as much as I do. We have 2 children in school, we both share all the household chores, take turns paying in restaurants etc and support each other and pick each other up if we're struggling. There's little arguments, we have a great sex life, it's all good.

richardcory · Answer

I think what matters is that the two people have compatible ideas of what they want the relationship to be like. That can be equal responsibilities, or different but fairly distributed responsibilities.

My wife is quite capable of taking care of herself, and so am I. We share our money but neither of us is "resonsible" for the other

MysticMC · Answer

No lol... Provide and protecting sure but doesn't mean they need to be buying everything for their GFs and I'd even then depending how long they've been in a relationship for, I'd hope they'd have some sort of shared account for bills and shit where they both put money into it

LazerBean · Answer

Absolutely not for girlfriends. For wives, it just depends on what sort of relationship dynamic they have.

Drewtate · Answer

It largely depends. If you want an old school husband that going to financial support you, protect and provide fof you then you gotta be an old school wife to him you know honor and obey, sickness and in health. If she wants to work fine but the husband is also responsible for her earnings and her investments. In other words its not a case of the husband's money is also his wife's money but her money is her's alone.

Anonymous · Answer

Only if the woman is worthy of it.
I take care of my wife,

In the past I kicked women to the curb when this came into question

Im not gunna take care of someone that constantly disrespects me, and undermines me.
while I suffer so they don’t have to.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I agree with you but if a woman wants to work than she must pay 50/50, she can't ask her man to provide everything for her while she's working and wants to invest her money the way she wants it...

SawerBrown · Answer

I agree with him being a provider and caregiver to his wife but not necessarily for a girlfriend.

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