Is revenge cheating still cheating? Should it be justified if the other partner cheated first?

[Anonymous]

Revenge cheating is basically when a person cheats on their partner or spouse as a comeback for them cheating first. I’ve done this twice in my life because both of these guys were very toxic and I gave my all to them and when I found out they were cheating, I cheated back before saying goodbye because my heart was in pieces. I feel like people take advantage of loyalty. I would never ever cheat for the heck of it or intentionally, I’m very loyal to my boyfriend and I don’t even get involved with guys, but I don’t see revenge cheating as a horrible thing because the cheater shouldn’t of been an asshole and hurt that good person in the first place period!

[MrOracle]

Two wrongs don't make a right, and both casual sex and increasing your body count hurt YOU in the long run.

What you don't realize is that YOU are choosing the cheaters. Cheaters overwhelmingly have traits in common - they tend to be the guys that most women find the most desirable - often they are very handsome, but sometimes they just have lots of charisma and confidence. But they are also self-contained and selfish, and feel entitled to sleep around. That's part of the package, so if you are going after the most desirable guys, that's nearly always going to come with cheating.

If you want guys who don't cheat, you're going to have to vet guys before you commit to them, and your primary criteria will need to be their morals, values, and life goals - not their looks, popularity, or status - meaning: not just based on your feelings. Your feelings have no morals or standards - they will happily steer you to bad men just because they are exciting for a week or two.

It's your life and you can live it how you like, but your choices will always have consequences down the road, and it will be you who suffers from your bad choices, and you who reaps the rewards of good choices. Either way, the credit or blame will be your own. If you choose a cheater and get cheated on, that's on you.

[OlderAndWiser]

He had a "justification" for cheating and now you have a "justification" for cheating, and that means the two of you are just like everyone else who cheats.

I had a very simple distinction that I made when I was dating: there are women who have previously cheated, and there are women who have not. And most people believe that if you've done it before, you'll do it again, so. . . you can decide which group you want to be in: those who have never cheated, or those who have cheated.

It's about YOUR moral character and not what your partner did, because if you justify and modify your conduct based on what your partner has done, that means you have no standards for yourself. You'll go just as low as your partner.

[yucychan]

It is still cheating. Also, like some of the commenters had mentioned, two wrongs don't make a right. Guys who cheated on you means they do not even love you or care about you at all, so do you think you really hurt them when you revenge cheat on them? No, they don't. They don't even care.

The only person you managed to hurt would still be yourself. Your heart will still be in pieces, revenge cheating will not mend it. You are not doing yourself any favours at all.

Don't go about thinking what you did is right and justified, that you are a good person for revenge cheating. No, you are not.

The right thing to do is end the relationship, block the cheating bastard and move on.

[Anonymous]

Cheating is never justified.

If you stay with a cheater and forgave them then forgive fully or leave. Because that relationship is bound to fail if you stay and always remember it and throw it at them in every argument

If you catch them cheating, they don’t admit to it and they still stay with you and you stay with them, then if you cheat although it’s not justified, they should take it too!!
In this case an eye for an eye since they stayed, you stayed, you caught them and it’s true you both know it but they refuse to admit, then take some of your own medicine.

[Finchie40]

Cheating makes you just as bad as the cheater is , because you are basically allowing yourself to stoop down to their level, making yourself just as wrong as they were. No relationship is perfect , just because things aren’t going your way in a relationship and you and your partner are having issues and butting heads and having disagreements and you feel that your partner treats you like shit , it’s always best to put yourself in your partners shoes and figure out why they are treating you like shit , instead of running to someone else thinking that other person will save you , By you running to someone else makes you a selfish person as well , Cheating is a selfish act period , so by you seeking revenge shows that you only care about yourself , so the fact that your partner cheated on you first , that should of been your answer right then and there to dump his ass and move on , instead of seeking revenge by going out screwing someone else , Most relationships fail because most people do not know how to remove selfishness within themselves , peope that are selfish only think about what is best for them , they are always right and never wrong , when someone has that mindset , they will never experience true love because the relationship turns one sided because things only can go your way. We can’t force someone to love us , all we can do is treat someone the same way we want to be treated in return , Your partner should always be your number 1 priority over everyone , because you both chose to be in the relationship together so your partner should always be your top priority over everyone else period , It should be you and your partner VS the world , not you and your partner against each other , Learn dignity within yourself , understand it’s ok to be wrong at times , You mr boyfriend probably cheated on you because you were probably only making things about yourself , you weren’t wearing his shoes the same way you expected him to wear yours , if he cheated on you for the hell of it , I highly doubt that he did , but if he did cheat on you for no valid reason then he is a selfish POS, then that should of been your answer to dump him right then and there, not string him along so you can get revenge on him , sorry but that makes you just as bad and selfish as he was. So until you learn what dignity is and how to remove selfishness with yourself , you are best to not get into a relationship with anyone until you understand you can’t always be right

[aficionado]

Anyone with even an ounce of self respect and dignity will just break up with a cheating partner, rather than cheat on them as revenge. Yes, it is still cheating, and makes you no better than your partner. You could have chosen to be the bigger person here and just broken up, but you didn't.

And no, I am not advocating for 'forgiving' a cheating partner. Cheats shouldn't be forgiven unless in very specific circumstances (for example, if the couple have a kid and a breakup or divorce will adversely affect the kid's mental health).

[ta-ra]

It is still cheating because you chose to stay in the relationship, chose to pretend to forgive just to get even and be petty.
The best revenge would be to leave peacefully, find you an upgrade and live happy and drama free. That will kill the original cheater more than you doing it back because then they will justify why and what they did in the first place. It's a never ending cycle.

[Flatmanlewis]

I think it just validates their behavior in their mind and destroys any realistic ability to claim what they did was wrong. They are a cheater (and rationalized their decision to do so) and now you are a cheater who just needed a higher threshold of justification.


Somebody cheats on me - we’re done. That simple. I don’t need revenge, I need to get away.

[Fireguy17]

Cheating is Cheating plain and simple.

Doesn't matter who did it first, but once you cross that line you are no better than the other cheater, so now you compounded 1 problem with another, so you both need to just move on with your lives.

[Little_Bumblebee]

It's still cheating.

I cannot imagine wanting to bring myself down to their shitty behavior.

Leaving is always the better option.

You now have the label of a cheater on you x2

[ProbablyClueless]

Revenge cheating is absolutely still cheating. If the person who stepped out is trying to make things work, the revenge cheater is betraying their trust by allowing them to think intimacy is being built when it's not actually.

[Berethor]

A girl that does revenge cheating is still a ho, so it better to not get so low to get a revenge.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, you're ignoring the third party, and the fact that there is no such thing as "revenge cheating" because if they cheated on you, the relationship is over, and they don't care who you are with anymore.

[Danny_dan92]

It’s toxic.




That’s what it is. Why tf would you stay with a person that cheated on you to begin with?




And you think two wrongs make a right? Grow up

[RainbowMarinade]

A cheater is a cheater, no matter how you try to justify it.

[HelpfulWoman]

No. Being an asshole isn't justified because someone else is. Just leave and don't be trash.

[djmzes]

The wrong of someone, does not make your wrong right.

[inhua]

here's the thing about cheating

once a cheater, always a cheater

[OfDeath]

Cheating can happen for many reasons but "revenge cheating" is done purely for the sake of cheating. So it is not only still cheating, it is probably the worst kind.

[Anonymous]

Cheating is cheating it will never not be cheating and cheating on someone who cheated on you for revenge only proves that your just as pathetic as they are.

I know it sucks! But rise above it.

[JesseP1nk]

So your partner was an asshole so you wanted to be asshole too - great. You two assholes deserves each other 🤣

[Anonymous]

Cheating is cheating, End of story, end of discussion, No matter who does it. It makes you worse than him because you know just how bad it hurts. Breaking up is better than cheating.

[Nikki1989]

That makes you just as bad as the original cheater.

[scooogy]

Reminds me of my little siblings negotiating like "you hit me hard once, now I may hit you light twice" 🙄