Have you ever felt afraid of falling in love?

Question

I came across one of my MyTakes from my previous account, I was 20 when I wrote it and It’s a bit childish from this perspective but it’s very honest.

My Struggle Of The Fear of Intimacy (Written by 20 yo LFF)

I do still have fear of love, but not so much.

1.5 year after writing that MyTake , I had a 3.5 year relationship. That was very fulfilling and beautiful for me.

I feel proud of my younger self for overcoming that fear and I hope, I’ll learn how to oppose them these days too.

Sometimes, I think I set too high standards for my future partners, not because I am shallow, but because I subconsciously try my hardest to avoid falling in love again.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't say I'm afraid of falling in love, as that would imply love is something out of my control. Yes, when I was younger, I fell in love very easily, as I hadn't the experience and wounds to know what to look for. Now, with the knowledge of what to look for, I find it much easier to pass on opportunities, before I significantly invest. Yes, my choice does tend to leave me alone, but I've found life to be much more satisfying alone than settling (just to be in a relationship).

The red flags are obvious, and oh so common. My primary red flag would be entitlement. Commonly, women feel entitled to receive more than they bring to the relationship and feel it is their right and duty to mold their partner into their ideal. When I see any signs of women accusing, blaming, criticizing, demanding, rationalizing, yelling or telling others what they should or shouldn't do, I walk the other way. I can't understand how these behaviors are so common, when they never lead to any long-term positive result.

Love is not something to be feared. It is something to be respected. Be observant and see things for what they are rather than for what you believe they should be. It isn't hard to pass on opportunities, when you understand the cost of settling. Clearly share what you expect of a partner and what that partner can expect of you, rather than play the common game of expecting others to read your mind and guess. Though the options are reduced with this clear, concise, open, honest communication, what remains has more value and is more likely to succeed. Make sure you choose based on what will work and have value long-term. We can't guaranty looks and money will remain indefinitely, but the quality of the person is something more likely to be much more enduring.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I’ve been afraid of allowing myself to love again.

Because it’s so easy for people to give their all in a relationship and for it to not be reciprocated.

True love with full trust and full effort is risky when you give it to someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

It’s very easy to be taken advantage of or taken for granted.

Unless one loves with walls up or with their guard up — but that’s just a manifestation of distrust — that will only prevent you from experiencing love at its fullest.

The more you trust your partner, the deeper your love can go.

But, it can be scary to put that much trust in someone.

But, I also have come to understand that if I want to experience love at its fullest, there is no other way.

So, trusting one’s partner completely is the only way to experience true love at its fullest.

So, then it’s a matter of finding one that you can come to trust that deeply — or finding someone with which you can build that level of trust.

And that’s a very difficult challenge itself.

Chevy1_kb · Accepted Answer

yes all the time very scared I get cheated on for the 3rd time iam happy with freedom and single life just now and me and my ex sleeping together and druling over uma thurman but no other women not my thing only her

menina · Accepted Answer

Yes, I'm afraid of falling in love. I have no experience with relationships, I'm afraid of getting hurt. Plus, I'm black and I'm attracted to white men, so I'm not sure how this is going to end... 🤷🏾‍♀️😕🤔

JustMeQ2 · Answer

The fear in “Afraid to fall in love” is not about love itself but about getting hurt.
Loving is not the problem, how it ends might be.

Fear is natural, it keeps us questioning things before we make a choice. The way you push through it is by knowing that you yourself are worth taking the risk for, now it's just finding someone worth the investment.

This worked for me, years ago.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Damn @lafemmefatale_1 . Are you going to stop standing in the way of your own happiness? Stop sabotaging yourself for fear of future abuse? You aren’t your parents or relatives who hurt you. They’re a part of you, but the final say lay with you. If you keep trying to be controlling like this, you’re going to keep having deep seeded trust issues.

Pretty eloquently written pieces.

Gent207-2 · Answer

Married - 4 years, dated for 7 years

My fear of rejection and failure in the realm of emotional and physical intimacy is distressing beyond words. It reaches a point that ropeless bungee jumping off a bridge is far more appealing than date night.

DummyThiccFeraligatr · Answer

Yes, I worry that I'll just get used / preyed upon at worst. Or, not reciprocated at best. I'm very affectionate and a romantic at heart, but it's very difficult to find someone who is the same. Even then, that "romantic" woman might only be in love with how I make her feel vs. in love with *me*.

At this point, I'd be content with someone who is good to me.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Sort of, but not in the way you'd think. My fear is that I do not want to get in a relationship with somebody if I know I am not ready. It's not fair for either of us to be in that type of situation.

djmzes · Answer

Afraid... Everyone is afraid to have a road accident.. so should we stop driving or drive carefully. You know it... and it is called carefully.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

yeah I always do. though I'm not afraid of intimacy though like that mytake you uploaded

Unit1 · Answer

No.

I am however watching my 6, so I won't end up marrying a deceptive gold digger and losing the good stuff like money and assets and turning into a lifeless husk of a male human body. These men look like they are ripe to be inside a coffin. Ugh!

But that's nothing to worry about with a good girl.

Have you ever felt afraid of falling in love?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

It seems most young women these days have a damn near terminal case of FOMO, which drives them to make horrific decisions in dating.

Most of you meet your husband in your early 20's but you curb him as you believe the "man buffet" is just getting started.

AmeerX · Answer

I my crush rejected me I had fear of love and I thought something was wrong with me. It was when I was 21-22 and then I realized later those who want to be with me will remain no matter how much I don't do and those who will not will leave even if I turned gold

sheikalana · Answer

No, never. Love is supposed to be a positive feeling.

Grond21 · Answer

I know what you mean. And yes, it is something that I think about.

Guido · Answer

I have never felt afraid if falling in love. Actually I was always looking for it until I found it. Now I am content and happy.

rainbowww · Answer

I'm afraid to fall in love because I don't want to be sad

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I don't think I've ever been afraid to love before.

exitseven · Answer

I stupidly jumped in with both feet not thinking of the consequences. It mostly ended badly.

Anonymous · Answer

Perhaps yes, 27 never had a girlfriend. Most girls don't like men without relationships or sexual experience so ghosting after a first date is common. I have kinda given up, being a researcher I don't have either money per my age or time.

MJtheCoach · Answer

I’m actually a lot more terrified of falling down the stairs..

BLP11520 · Answer

Twice is enough it won’t happen again I was not afraid just stupid

Christoff92 · Answer

Yes in many times because of harsh family nembers

Have you ever felt afraid of falling in love?

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