My boyfriend has been kind of inconsistent lately when he's even more consistent with his friends! He's more afraid of losing his friends than he is of losing me and I'm happy that I make him feel that safe but it's making me feel neglected and sad. I told him this, and he thanked me for voicing my feelings, but I'm not going to nag and tell him again and again. I want to show him through actions and behaviours how I feel now.
He seems very secure in the relationship, which is good, I am very loyal and I would never cheat... but I want him to realize that if I don't feel like his priority it's going to hurt me and hurt me until I have to leave him and find someone who WILL make me feel like his/her priority.
I'm worried he is becoming complacent and I know that men love the chase so how can I pull back in a way that isn't cruel to give him a bit of adrenaline? So he can realize that putting me on the back burner could end in him losing me but he can also have fun feeling like he's chasing me again.
I want to communicate this in a way that's a bit playful while still being SERIOUS. Because I don't want to fall out of love with him but if he keeps being complacent I will whether I want to or not!
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Wow, I feel bad for him. He was happy when you voiced your opinion and let him know what's wrong, but now you're being passive again and not communicating effectively.
If you're not going to get personal in a relationship then you can't get intimate. You're sitting around waiting from him to do something he's not going to do.
He has active listening skills and appericated it when you told him. But you're staying quite being passive and getting upset because he has friends.
You say you want a guy who make you his priority, and when you told him he did just that. Why isn't he allowed to have friends? You want everything to be about you?
I told him how I felt and nothing changed. I barely ever see him and when I do he's late, I can't keep begging him to care about me. I love his friends but they get respect from him that I don't, he's on time for them, he makes space in his schedule for them, if he wants to be a bachelor he should just let me be free then.
Start pointing out his actions when they happen. After some time, uh if nothing changes leave.
Better spend that energy on finding your next boyfriend.
Just tell him why you left, and how you tried to fix things but it didn't put enough effort so it failed. Maybe he’ll learn something for himself too.
Yeah it sucks because he's a really sweet guy and I like him a lot. He talks a big game about wanting to get a house with me and marry me but he's so flaky it feels like he doesn't respect me.
I want to know if he's just this flaky in general or if it's only with me because I would be more understanding if it's just a general personality flaw and not a show of disrespect to me specifically.
Even last night he flaked because he had planned to take me out for a gym date and to shop for Halloween costumes for HIS friend's party. He was just going to take his mom to Costco and then come get me but he decided to take the grill off his truck and tinker with it instead and couldn't figure out how to get it back on and so it took all day and he never came to see me.
I'm not forcing him to make these promises!! If he didn't make all these fun-sounding plans all the time I wouldn't be frustrated and disappointed when he inevitably broke his promise.
And I know the truck thing was a decent reason, he didn't have access to his two other vehicles, but it feels like he sabotaged himself buy choosing to attempt a vehicle repair he's never done before close to the time he was supposed to come spend time with me.
I'm in love with him and it sucks because I don't feel like he values me in action, mainly just in words and promises he won't keep.
Make him think there's another guy who's interested in you, and that you're seriously considering dating him.