Do you believe “nice guys” actually exist?

Question

I think we all have our nice and not so nice sides.

As humans, we are sort of the top predators of the world. Even though we sometimes overestimate or underestimate our powers, the truth is we are ruthless destructive predators to many other living beings. Even the nicest of us.

The biggest friend and an enemy for us - is another human.

It is in our genes not to be nice generally. It has served a purpose for people to survive.

Niceness serves a purpose as well. But is anybody really nice deep down?

Aren’t we all fighting our own demons?

Nice people are just people who choose to display that side of theirs to the outside world. But even the nicest of men have their own demons, don’t they?

How do you decide, who’s “nice” and who’s not “nice”?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

I think there are lots of nice guys out there, but women look past them... or you have to get to them before they are worn down by all the bullshit that women put them through.

Like I am nice guy, but I have learned my lessons... but more I date and more hassles I am put through, with bull shit excuses, and all the tap dancing... I am like a nice guy with no patience for it. Like I have no patience for that the bull shit any more.

If you are good person, you will see me for who I am and not abuse it... but too often that is not the case... and yeah you get more and more callus about it. Like women waste a lot of a man's time with their bullshit... I got to be honest. And you want to be nice and you want to be understanding, but after enough times through the ringer, it not like they stop being nice. They are still nice guys, but they have no patience for your bull shit, because they have see it before and lived it before... like you think you are this person and you do not do this shit... but you do trust me.

You either appreciate me for who I am, and you cash in and double down, you are wasting my time and taking advantage of my good nature.

Sonorous · Accepted Answer

Reminds me of this question I've asked before

Do you agree that we're only as good as our behavior is in the worst of circumstances we face?

Since it's so tricky to determine if someone is nice or mean or good or bad at their default, I like to view people mostly as balls of potential. Entities capable of both extremes under the right circumstances for them. So yeah I believe nice guys do exist. And yeah they still have a shadow. How bad the shadow is depends on the person though.

Take me for instance, most people who meet me will see how calm & nice I am. I put great effort into being agreeable for the most part. But if someone were to try & physically harm me or anyone that I love, they'd meet the version of me that I keep hidden for a reason. I'm a very nice individual. Not a pushover but yk nice. However my shadow is very not. 👹

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Actually being "nice" has evolutionary benefits, too. Humans can be cutthroat, but we are also a social species, and cooperation is advantageous.

So, I'd classify it as us vacillating between the two, depending on our moods and circumstances/needs.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

There are a lot of good guys out there, and I’m not talking about the self proclaimed ‘nice guys’ lol. Not one person is completely good or evil per say, however you can still nurture the good qualities about yourself and not the bad ones.

coachTanthony · Answer

I am the nicest guy on GAG. That should count for something.

AviatorTom · Answer

Do I believe in myself? Yes I do!

Anonymous · Answer

Well I was abused my entire life from birth to around 26 when I finally left the military.

I was shit on and bullied and verbally and physically attacked by strange men. My family was shit. I grew up piss poor starving my entire childhood. Homeless sometimes. Often times not having electricity at home. Blah blah blah blah I could. go all day.

Thats why I am kind and respectful to everyone. I know what it's like to fuckingnsuffer so why would I want to treat people in a way I wouldn't want to be treated?

It makes no sense.

I think the real definition of a nice guy is simply a man who struggles to date.

He doesn't understand why women don't like him. He feels like he is a decent and good person.

He thinks women fear men. That's why he is nice. He loves and respects women and only wants to be a positive human being.

But he doesn't realize that the truth of female nature is deep down their greatest desire is a viscuous brutal rape.

That's why nice guys become assholes because they find out the truth.

They find out that being nice to women makes him unattractive to women. That women prefer men who are dark. Who have rage issues. Who have the potential to satisfy her sick desires for violence and degradation.

This in my opinion is the root of all male insecurity when it comes to women.

We all want to be good men. Decent men who love our families and provide for them.

But that is not what women want. Sure they want a provider. She wants a Jesus in the streets.

But she wants lord lucifer himself in the bedroom to take her to hell and back, with orgasms going the whole way.

This is the reality of the red pill that the red pill community doesn't understand

Why women desire so badly for abuse and degradation. Men are struggling to be "the real man" that every woman wants.

Every woman wants Jesus in the streets and lucifer in the sheets.

MrOracle · Answer

I want to set this definition apart from when we are talking about a "nice guy" in dating, which is a different context. Here I'm making a more general definition.

A nice guy is someone who, by default, is polite and is generally aware of other people's feelings and makes it a practice to not hurt other people intentionally, and to help when he reasonably can.

This is opposed to a guy who is more selfish and self centered, and prioritizes his own desire and doesn't expend a lot of energy on how others might feel.

The nice guy may still hurt others from time to time, but it's usually unintentionally and often because he didn't know or understand something that led to the harm - it's rarely that he simply didn't care.

The self-centered guy simply doesn't care about other people's feelings except in certain circumstances - and not always then - he doesn't understand why he should even have to, because it's not his problem.

I know plenty of both types of guys. And the ones who are the most successful in nearly all aspects of life are, sadly, the self centered guys, not the nice guys. For all the blather about people wanting a nice guy, that's almost never what they pick, be it business or a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guy? They are becoming less and less for good reason. Women don’t want neither do most of them deserve a nice guy. Most women will string a nice guy along instead of being genuine and saying it will never happen. Nice guys will spend the resources on a girl they want to get with, while that isn’t particularly a woman’s fault. She should still never accept something from someone they don’t intend on being in a relationship with. But that’s too much to ask for a lot of women as they like to be spoiled.

All in all, men need to figure out how to live without a woman. If they did that even the women that rejected them will come flooding back to them because women need more far more than men need women.. I mean we do things like take out the trash, open jammed jar tops, lift heavy things on shelves, reach the thing on the very top shelf, know how to protect ourselves in an attack, can fix a multitude of things in the house, can change a tire, and have self respect to have a respectable job… so at the end of the day I think the nice guy should stop being as nice and you would see an influx of women running back to men.

Robzei · Answer

I'd like to think I'm generally a decent person but that's not always been the case. I've had to go through lots of situations with people and relationships to realize my worth and my ability to make a situation better by being a decent human being. Sure I've been an asshole sometimes and I regret breaking hearts but I learn from it and try to better myself each time. Being nice to me is understanding the other persons point of view and doing your best to show that you care, even if you don't 🤷

I'm not sure what that makes me but I'm trying to be better 💪

DaySpring · Answer

@lafemmefatale_1 Hey Lafemme. Do nice people/guys exist? Well I think humans are just an expression of the thoughts they choose to entertain and ofc their current conditioning. If you entertain certain things then you get angry. That's how our mind works. So I don't think anyone is nice or bad. We are more of a blank space and our minds just work a certain way. We can choose to discipline our thinking and character though. After a while it become pretty natural due to conditioning shifting.

I truly think who people want to be is more important than who they are.
Because what it does tell me is that if they truly learned how to control and change themselves they'd be that instead of what they are.

But yeah nobody is nice or bad. It's all just an expression of current conditioning. We aren't our condition, thoughts, actions, feelings

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

I'm kind, but reserved. I'll admit, I've had plenty of demons to battle. Some trolls tend to make me angry enough to have serial killer fantasies. Keeping my own anger in check is difficult. There are some who just want to bully a dragon. They belong on suicide watch.

I'm always watchful for Katies and Karens. They take one look at me, and lust for my destruction. Gotta stay one step ahead. I seek a diamond in the rough, and rough is all I find.

It's not my desire to have to go John Wick on anyone. But everyone has limits.

justkoala · Answer

Mmmm It's a topic that often arises in conversations about dating and relationships. In my experience, yes, genuinely kind and considerate individuals do exist. It's important to distinguish between authentic kindness and manipulative behavior. Truly kind people are respectful, caring, and empathetic without expecting anything in return, while those who use niceness as a strategy may not be as genuine in their intentions. So, yes, "nice guys" exist, but their authenticity can vary.

Anonymous · Answer

You know the problem is this that i find often with a lot of girls and women these days. I am not saying there are nice guys who act fake to want something. But there are girls who are emotionally immature and want to test the guys nerves and if he gets pissed off to say, SEE you're NOT A NICE GUY you're FAKE! To any girl or woman who reads this understand in those situations you’re acting like a child and manipulating the guy by acting like he’s a POS and you’re perfect. Everyone has their limits. I’ve seen great teachers lose their cool because some kid was testing the teacher’s patience with some bullshit. I think a lot of girls assume every dude just wants her for sex, and if he acts out, he got mad, his “nice” guy persona is dead to her, then she goes on assumptions. But do women like to do be assumed? No. So there is a text book case of hypocrisy on a females end and a lot of women dont want to take accountability for their actions.

Still-alive · Answer

I'm nice unless the other person proves themselves untrustworthy or is an otherwise shitty person and especially if they've crossed me or harassed anyone i care for im definitely not nice to those types lol... I'm a nice person with a spine basically, at least that's what i like to think of myself as.

To answer your actual question though yeah genuinely nice guys (and girls too) exist sure. just examine actions over words always. their actions should show you that they truly are nice or not.

Other things you can look for is how they treat other people, like waiters at a restaurant or kids and elderly folks. also see how they treat pets.

Lots of things you can look for to tell really.

SakuraBlossoms87 · Answer

Course they do. But as the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. Or the other old saying misery loves company.

In short

When someone is not a nice person - fickle, shallow, harassing of others, attitude or personality problems, etc. - they attract others like them & nice people avoid them.

aceleon · Answer

İ do believe they exist and i am deeply saddened by that, no seriously one of the worst thing i guy can do to himself too much downsides and no real benefits i think the last time someone called me nice was my grandma and even that was like 5 years ago nowadays even she is aware that my niceness is Just a pleasentary gesture i pull to gain favor or charm People to get close to them (for nothing bad though i Just like being liked so as long as it doesn't put me at situations i don't want to deal with i am content playing "nice") but sadly nowadays i became to impatient to keep the charade for long.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

There is a difference between a guy being nice and a guy being a kiss ass, sneaky doormat that eventually violates the boundaries of others.

I can be a “nice guy” by stating my true intentions all the while setting and defending my own boundaries.

If that other person doesn’t respect those boundaries, then to some extent l can be an asshole.

Evananswersquestions · Answer

No I can safely say I'm nice if I could have it my way everyone would be happy and I generally go out trying to brighten other people's days with the hope they'll do the same. It isn't a ploy to swoon anyone or manipulate them into liking me I just really enjoy the fact that they feel happy for a moment because that's something people rarely feel these days. Go up to someone today and hold the door for them then compliment their shoes or their cool shirt. Tell me how that feels for you :)

Harness · Answer

Whether nice guys do exist is not what I can say. What I can say is being nice is, and should be, deliberate... people who are needlessly nice usually have some underlying issues with them -low self-esteem, pain, illness etc. A healthy human being is not always nice; even animals are not always nice, there are times when one must protect oneself or one's pride -it's just natural that way.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Haha. Tyler Durden was an anarchist. He wanted no law and no rights for anyone.

It’s a combination of exogenous and endogenous factors. How we handle them determines which side others sees. We have to have demons, the world is inherently dangerous. It’s a common theme across many cultures. Humans are supposed to be violent with everything outside of humans and caring with humans, not always the case.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes, genuine nice guys (as opposed to the manipulative fake ones) do exist. You can tell them by their actions. They help the pretty girl. And the little old lady, little old man, the guy whose car stalled, the people struggling to get their sofa up the stairs, etc. He'll bring a blanket and a sandwich to the homeless guy who is cold and hungry, and then after all this walk away, asking for nothing.

Likes2drive · Answer

By their actions when they are in their own environment you can tell that, if they are still the same after knowing them awhile then they are not faking it or trying to be on their best behavior. I’m considered a nice guy and easy going, probably why people try to take advantage of that

di3storted · Answer

I think there actual nice guys but being nice doesn’t make someone perfect in any way. I personally think it’s a red flag if a guy have to emphasize or repeatedly mention that they’re a good guy. I think it depends how you look at it because even with the best personality or great characteristics everyone has skeletons in the closet. Some less bad than others.

Do you believe “nice guys” actually exist?

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