I am a closeted bi-sexual guy. The only person that I have told is with my girlfriend of 6 years who is one of the best friends I have ever had (she has known for 4+ years and doesn’t care).
I consider our sex life as decent but I would really like to explore my sexuality more but not at the expense of hurting our relationship, which we both would like to be long-term.
Although she has many of society’s so-called ‘traditional values’, she loves me and is open-minded and supportive to our relationship and I actually think she might be ok with something outside our relationship as long as it was not with another girl.
I am comfortable communicating how I feel but I want to know ‘how’ to do it in a way that won’t be threatening to our relationship and highly concerned that she may lose long-term interest.
Can you help with your opinion about one (or more) of my questions:
1. Would you let your boyfriend explore his bi-sexuality within a ltr?
2. If so, would it be a one time thing or would it be ok if it was periodically ongoing (2-3 times a year) if it was safe and well-communicated?
3. Will my desires change how you would see our relationship over the long-term?
Thanks for helping!
What Girls Said
It is a difficult answer to give for a person that is neither into sex nor is bisexual, gay or anything different.
My main concern is that she is letting you on the long leash in order not to jeopardize the relationship but probably is not very enthusiastic about it and that for several reasons.
1. She is probably anxious that you bring home STD/STI or anything else that might be contagious when fornicating.
2. She is also afraid to lose your unconditional love because you seem to want someone else's attention besides hers.
3. She may feel cheated on by someone that is supposed to love her. She may consent that you copulate with a guy because the cheating is less difficult to accept.
Depending on the situation develops, it is very likely that things will change between you.
As a straight gal, I wouldn't date a bisexual at all in general.
All you can do is broach the topic and see what she says. Then simply respect the choice.
You have to talk it out, but sadly it will test how strong your relationship is. It is pity people can be so insecure over such things.