So about 6 months ago me and my girlfriend had a fight about something she posted on Instagram. It all started by her asking me what was wrong as she noticed my demeanor wasn’t normal, I at first didn’t want to say because I had not had time to think about how I felt and didn’t know if I was in the right or not, but she pried it out of me and I told her that her post made me a little uncomfortable because of how revealing it was, however I did specify that I was not asking her to take the post down, I wasn’t saying she couldn’t post more pictures like that, I even said she didn’t have to agree with me, I just wanted her to respect how I felt about it since she asked. She then got super upset, and started calling me names like a misogynist. Things started to calm down and then she asked her friends about it and her friends rehyped her up and she started telling me that I was just insecure because of how beautiful she was. Anyway the fight would escalate and deescalate which eventually ended in me apologizing for being uncomfortable with the picture and some things I said and then a week later she apologized for getting so mad and explained that this was just a hot topic for girls. Fast forwarding 6 months to today and I still get randomly upset about it cause the post is up which I initially didn’t care about but now it just reminds me of this big fight we had over something that didn’t need to escalate that much. To clarify I want the post taken down because it reminds me of this big fight we had where she got way to upset and I just don’t wanna remember it or be reminded of it as it’s in the past. The problem is I don't know if I should bring it up to her due to her reaction last time I had a negative comment about what she posted, if she wanted to make similar revealing post in the future that’s perfectly fine, I just don’t want this one up as it reminds me of a more negative part in our relationship.
Instagram post issue, what do you think I should do?
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Dude, that's a tough one. I can see why both that post and the memory of the fight still bother you. But bringing it up again also risks another fight.
My advice would be to talk to her calmly when you're both in good moods. Explain again how you feel, without blame. Say the post just brings back the bad feelings from that time, and you'd rather not dwell on negatives from your past together.
Rather than demanding she take it down, ask if she'll do it as a favor to help you both move on fully. Compromise by saying she's free to post what she wants going forward.
Acknowledge her feelings too - how important expressing herself is. But also how important resolving issues as a team is. With patience and understanding on both sides, I hope she'll see taking it down could be a small gesture of goodwill.
Just go in with an open, non-judgmental attitude. Make it about healing old wounds together, not controlling her. With calm communication, maybe you can both find closure on this issue. You got this bro!
Thanks for the advice
You’re welcome
yeah don't bring it up. thats YOUR issue, she doesn't have to alter her account for you. You had a dumb fight. you both got "over it". stop letting a photo impact your relationship more than it has done.
Thank you for the advice