Help a clueless man. Is my girlfriend depressed?

[Anonymous]

This has been going on for about six weeks. She slowly became increasingly distant. She's dealing with her mom having cancer - her change in behavior pretty much started exactly when she got this news - she's super close to her mom, and she also lost her father back in 2022. We're both in our 20s, been together for about a year. No problems before - relationship amazing, honeymoon phase we were enamored with eachother.

I thought some fresh perspectives on this would be good, so I''ve jotted down some of the things she has told me / confided in me the last time we spoke on the phone so you can guage whether you think she's depressed.

• She said she is struggling to focus and has been talked to by her boss regarding her drop in productivity/performance.
• Random/uncontrolled spells of crying during the day, and that she feels a pain in her chest
• Said that she's been feeling like a robot who is just going through the motions everyday, not really feeling anything
• Is finding it hard to do social things or get out of the house
• Has stopped exercising, something she used to do regularly
• She was taking an online skills course related to something she is interested in pursuing, and said that she's no longer attending her classes and has pretty much given up on it
• Said that she is forgetting things, like wishing her niece a happy birthday on her birthday
• Overall saying she is finding it hard to function, and when I brought up that her change started when she received the news about her mom, she agreed with me. As I mentioned, she has a very, very close relationship with her mom.
• Has admitted in the past that she struggles with anxiety and has been thiknking of seeing a therapist for almost one year.

Despite this when i asked her she denied that she's depressed.

Then she finally told me she needs some space (I did open this door to her previously, that if she needs some time she can let me know). Haven't spoken in 2 weeks and am getting worried.

[dynamicyandere]

She sounds depressed.


It would be good to encourage her to seek a therapist and be emotionally supportive however you can.


I’ve been through depression before, and like her, I denied it. I just said I was stressed. Or said I had a lot on my plate.


It wasn’t until later that I realized that I was depressed. During that time, everything was a haze and I couldn’t think clearly.


When people are going through a heavy depression, sometimes it’s so bad that they can’t even detect it. They’ve lost awareness of what’s happening. They’re just swallowed up in darkness and chaos in their mind and outside they can go into a sort of auto-pilot.


It’s almost like asking a drunk person, “Are you drunk?” And they say no they’re not. But, they’re not clear-headed enough to truly tell.


So yeah, she doesn’t say she’s depressed, but her symptoms seem to say otherwise.


It’s best to get professional help (and a professional opinion as well).


Hopefully she’ll be cooperative with you.

[KrakenAttackin]

Women don't handle stress very well, and her response is classic. You can offer to be there for her but if she flat out refuses, that's on her. She is obviously depressed but she has to acknowledge this and be willing to accept help.

[StarWarGirl]

Giving space when asked is ok. But not this time. In this situation no matter someone wants to get away from everyone but still you need to keep them around and need to make them feel you are here and you are staying here. And if you feel necessary you need to stay there with her no matter she is pushing you away so badly.

Leaving the person alone in this situation isn't good.

And yes she is going through depression and she needs help to overcome with it, no matter by some family members, friends, or you. Someone is needed to be by her side. And maybe psychiatric help too some tabs and medicine if necessary.

[Roudyrebel8]

Sounds depressed to me and it's understandable

[Akam93]

Yes very depressed. Either leave her or stay.

[bbnnnnvbbj]

My sister is pregnant from my friend

[dynamicyandere]

Leaving her would drive her into an even deeper depression.

If he loves her, I think he should say and be a supportive partner and help her through it.

Only if she refuses to be helped (we can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves) THEN the possibility of leaving may be something to think about.

But leaving without trying to get her help would feel like a premature move and would come off as very cold.

[Asker]

I know want to stay. I love her. And I thought she loved me. I know she was happy with me. But right now I can't even get a hold of her. She's unresponsive, unreachable. What do I do? Keep on her until if and when she comes around?

[dynamicyandere]

That’s a difficult situation to be in. I’d personally try to continue to communicate with her and try to get her to open up to me. I’d try a little longer. I wouldn’t give up unless things truly seemed to be hopeless. But… Even then, it depends on how sincere she is. It’s very case by case. But, if you still love her, I’d say it would be good to keep trying. At least for quite some time.

[Jkgordon]

Talk to her and see what’s going on