I started to have feelings for my friend around two years ago. Our families have always got along and we've always noticed how compatible we are.
In our culture it is normal for a man to see a woman he's attracted to and go straight from strangers to engaged. That is exactly what my friend did, around a year and a half ago.
He is aware of my feelings for him and we've both built necessary boundaries considering the situation. Besides a few comments like "our families get along so well" and "you understand me", he has never expressed any real opinion or feelings towards me, but he has also never closed the door. I've attempted to open the subject of my feelings for him and my need for closure twice in the last year and half but I would be dancing around the topic, terrified of being disrespectful, and so would he.
He's expressed that he realized he is not happy in his engagement and has tried to end it multiple times. The woman's family would guilt him and his family into pushing through and trying to get them married. He's been distant from myself and all his other friends and is not in a very good place. Although he hasn't been very direct, he's confused. He caught feelings for the woman in the last year and a half but has also realized they are incompatible, unhealthy, and that he has to hide a huge part of himself for her to accept him.
I'm usually very expressive with my friends when they ask for relationship advice and opinions (I'm divorced and studying psychology), and it's been literal hell giving generic answers like "it's your life and a big decision so think about what you want and go for it" instead of "you're losing yourself trying to make something work that doesn't"
I barely see him anymore, we only communicate on occasions and quick friendly check ups, but I still haven't been able to get over him. I'm waiting for him to either send me a wedding invite or come tell me he's single and wants me back.
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Opinion
1Opinion
just get urself busy with sth else or start seeing a different person
I tried seeing someone else but broke it off because they were getting more invested while I stayed hung up on my engaged friend..
did u consider therapy?
No but I am considering it now hahahah
See someone else or get something to get involved in
I'm fully incapable of moving on until there's closure. I can't invest in anyone else without stringing them along unfairly. I'm rather busy too in life, its just an obsession that sits in the background of my mind.
Compatible how?
Honestly, my view is biased at the moment but I currently think we're compatible in every way possible except that we have opposite tastes in music.
Can you tell me how u guys are exactly compatible