Wouldn't this also be a good argument for ''marriage is just a piece of paper''?

[sunshinexoxo9]

A relationship base on just a verbal agreement is that, just words. Words can easily be blown away by the wind. You can break up at any moment for whatever reason. You can leave even the day after you've just professed your love for them. And what were all those vain words for? For nothing. If they cheat, you can easily break-up and the cheater can even lie saying it never happened, that you're lying and you got no proof other than just your words against theirs.

Do words alone bring you security and financial stability? If your partner were to suffer an accident, they can't speak at that moment and someone had to make medical decisions for him/her, would ''but we love each other'' and words be enough for doctors to give any rights for their health? Would ''but we love each other'' be enough for you to be included on their health insurance through their employer?

Updates

3 mo

Imagine if banks were to rely on just words whenever you requested a loan and your words that you'll pay them bank, just words alone without any proof, documents, nothing... just words because ''hey, a document is just a piece of paper, I already said I'll pay them back''.

[BoopBoopBeep]

My ex girlfriend holds my medical power of attorney. Whether we were married or not is inconsequential to the legal document outlining her ability to make medical decisions if I'm in capacitated again.

Many insurance companies offer domestic partner insurance for couples. So yes, you can put your non-married partner on your health insurance and life insurance.

So it depends on what you're looking for. If you want cheaper taxes, yes to file married you'll need that piece of paper. You don't get that piece of paper if you're married in a religious ceremony that isn't recognized by the state anyway.

You want a bank to give you a "married account" somewhere? Is that a thing? I've never had a bank ask me the relation to other people I put on there and not taken my answer of "partner" at face value.

You want me to say this means we'll always be together? Don't be naive. I have paperwork that says I have a half dozen names from a half dozen countries and I'll leave you just as easily with 6, 1, or none of them at any time I determine the relationship is not worth sustaining, just as you will to me. A marriage document does not confer indentured servitude.

[lightbulb27]

What a few generations has done to trash the fragile ethics that were built up. In some circles, a handshake is a man's word, he'd rather die than leave it. Maybe that ended with Tom Cruise movie?

It's a piece of paper yes, what is more important is the place you return to when it gets challenging and want to leave. That places is in values, character, ethics... maybe a ring, photo, or what have you... like God. Your word comes from somewhere right? If it comes from sinking sand, then yea, don't count on what they say.

That is called integrity which you seek. When it exists, then ya don't need the words and all the stuff.

Words alone don't bring security... no. they reinforce and support. actions do better.

[Flatmanlewis]

I do not think that is a good argument. Marriage is far more than just a piece of paper. Several legal rights are opened to married couples that are not so, for other relationships. This is of particular significance if you travel because many countries don’t honor or legally accept the power of attorney that may exist on paper back in the US, but marriage is still regarded as a special and significant relationship around much of the world.


I think this “piece of paper” argument is the byproduct of a generation which has cheapened bonds people share and lost its way.

[Phoenix98]

Well for me personally marriage has meaning to me both personal and religious what it means to me extends far beyond a scrap of paper.

[Zestyassmf1997]

I mean, the words actually aren’t gonna help you as far as benefits and power of attorney go, no. However the marriage contract will. I don’t really understand what you’re asking about here.

[sunshinexoxo9]

That's my argument against those saying ''marriage is just a piece of paper''. No it's not. It won't help you for medical decisions.

[Zestyassmf1997]

I think they mean in an ethical sense, though. But from a practical standpoint, yeah, that piece of paper makes a huge difference.

[sunshinexoxo9]

They still don't make sense though. If I wanted commitment from a partner, I want everything included and for me to be there for them on the hospital should something happen, same thing vice-versa.
Those people focus too much on just the ''falling in love'' feelings and the romantic aspect of the relationship but not its responsibilities.

[Zestyassmf1997]

Well feelings of love are what mark a relationship, not legal situations. A person who loves you will want to be there for you, and would want to help you, with or without a paper. The paper just exists to create a sort of third party record of those feelings.

[sunshinexoxo9]

It's the mark but it's not everything. Just love alone isn't the only part.

[Zestyassmf1997]

It’s the most important part, I think.

[sunshinexoxo9]

You can have great feelings of love but if they don't share your similar goals and you're just too different, then it's not enough.

[Zestyassmf1997]

I’m not so sure about that.

[sunshinexoxo9]

I had to break up with a past ex boyfriend because he confessed to getting a vasectomy done, 2 years into our relationship. I wanted kids, he never did but he knew I did and lied about wanting the same.. keeping that a secret.
No amount of feelings of love would've fixed that nor compensate for being on total different page, plus getting lied for 2 years. So in that case, just loving him wouldn't have been enough.

[Zestyassmf1997]

But the love was false because you were deliberately mislead by him.

[sunshinexoxo9]

Yet he would say he was in love with me but knew that if he had told me the truth from the start, I would've ditched him and he wanted to continue keeping me. Yes I would've ditched him immediately.
So it isn't just love but mutual respect and having similar goals too.

[Zestyassmf1997]

Love encompasses respect.

[rigmarole]

All laws are written in words. All contracts are written in worlds... Women have no logic.

[sunshinexoxo9]

You said it, written. Just words alone (not written) can be easily forgottten and blown by the wind.

[rigmarole]

They're still just words. Oh and by the way, all words can be blow away by the wind. Paper flies pretty easily. Not happy with paper, even in stone they are subject to wind erosion from abrasive materials carried by the wind... Anyone can leave at any time even with contracts. Contracts are just used to hold someone legally accountable in the jurisdiction where the laws were written. Someone can move to a different jurisdiction to avoid laws from one country or the other or even fall off the map completely and live a nomadic lifestyle like homeless people. There is nothing you can do to stop someone from leaving you except to be a good partner to them.