Should I be worried, yes, no? overthinking?

[Anonymous]

So a little back story, my boyfriend of almost a year has a girl best friend who he dated for 3 years previously, they’ve been broken up for a couple years now and he states they’re only friends which i believe because nothing has happened to make me think otherwise. But what I’m wondering is if I should be worried about this or not, so my boyfriends back hurts a lot of the time from work and so basically I guess he told his girl best friend about his back pain and I guess her friend offered to give him a back massage (she does that for work) for much cheeper then it usually costs where they work, and i know i probably shouldn’t worry but I’ve never met the girl best friend and I have no idea who this friend is and as far as I know he’s never met this “friend” either so it seems weird to me that she’s offering to give him a service for way more then half the normal cost of it. I don't know if I’m just overthinking or being insecure, I need advice/opinions. Thanks

[Anonymous]

It's natural to feel concerned when faced with a situation like this, but it's important to communicate openly with your boyfriend about your feelings. Express your concerns calmly and ask him to clarify the situation. It's possible that his friend is simply offering a discounted service out of kindness, but it's also understandable that you might feel uneasy given the circumstances. Trust and communication are key in any relationship, so discussing your worries with your boyfriend is the best way to address them and alleviate any concerns you may have.

[Asker]

I find every time I try to communicate with him, he feels like I’m attacking him, I try to talk calmly but it seems like “I’m always starting shit”

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds like there may be some underlying tension or miscommunication in your relationship that is making it difficult for you both to have open and constructive conversations. It's important to approach discussions with empathy and understanding, acknowledging each other's perspectives without resorting to blame or defensiveness. Consider seeking couples counseling or therapy to help facilitate better communication and address any issues that may be causing friction in your relationship. A neutral third party can provide guidance and support in navigating difficult conversations and finding solutions that work for both of you.

[Asker]

I think you’re correct, it’s just difficult because I tell him I’m just trying to talk and that im not mad but he shuts down so then I feel like shit for even bringing anything up, it’s really frustrating to be honest

[Iron_Man]

The ex girlfriend remaining friends with your new boyfriend is always a red flag for the new girl

[Asker]

Yeah it was really hard to get past him being “best friends” with his ex girlfriend for a long time, but after many talks and hearing how he refers to her I’ve gotten over myself, but the thought is always in the back of my head

[Iron_Man]

Keep an eye out

[Asker]

What do you think should be the signs I’m looking out for?

[Iron_Man]

Going out too much together alone. Her being flirtatious. Him on his cell phone and acting weird when you come around while he’s on the phone,. He’s calling her all the time

[butterly248]

It's okay, I over think a lot also! Just take a deep breath 🫂

[Asker]

It’s so hard not to overthink, with this being my first “healthy” relationship after all my past relationships with me being cheated on and lied to constantly it’s hard to get out of the cycle of overthinking :,(

[butterly248]

You may need to take a break from dating for a while and focus on you 💓

[Asker]

I was single for almost 3 years before I got in this relationship, so i thought I was ready. Maybe I would benefit going back into therapy for my issues. I don't know thank you for responding though:)

[butterly248]

Therapy and self love. Don't worry you'll get there eventually again ❤️

[Asker]

Thank you so much, you’ve helped more then you can imagine <3

[Anonymous]

Yes, WAY too much overthinking.