Is it okay to make a relationship pros and cons list for boyfriend?

[okama]

These days I dont know what I feel about my boyfriend and whether I am happy in this relationship or not.. My friend suggested me to make a pros and cons list about my relationship but I find it kinda stupid.. What do you think?

[Screenwriter]

"These days I don't know what I feel about my boyfriend and whether I am happy in this relationship or not.."

The fact that you made that statement means you're NOT happy and you are questioning many aspects of your relationship. I don't believe you need a pros and cons list of any kind. You KNOW what bothers you about this man and what you like about him.

The bottom line is are the things that bother you more annoying that what you love about this man? Is there anything direly wrong with him? Or, are there a host of little things that add up to one big annoyance?

If you can't decipher your feelings well enough, enlist the aid of a therapist to talk through what sounds like a troubled relationship. I you can't decide whether you're happy, it's more than likely you aren't. Good luck getting some objective help.

[Superreader]

Yes, it’s a useful tool for all kinds of decision-making. Benjamin Franklin created/popularized the pros-and-cons list, and then he weighed the specific variable. Mathematical balance.

[MrDaveAPSI]

It might be that you are into someone else right now, too. And that, you just don't know if it's worth staying with your current girlfriend.

Remember ross made a pros and cons list about rachel and his current girlfriend at the time. He wound up going with rachel, because we always knew it was going to be her in the end. They just fit

Unfortunately, rachel found the list, and couldn't get over it for the longest time (if ever)

[NewgodOmega]

Why nit create a ai boyfriend
Won't that be better
Everything you want
Nothing you don't
Just perfect
Modern women do wants robots these days and since men are humans they are always and I mean always bad

[lemonette]

Absolutely, jotting down the good and not-so-good aspects of your relationship with your boyfriend can be pretty enlightening. It's like taking a step back to see the full picture, which can sometimes get lost in the daily shuffle.

This is not a report card to hand over to your boyfriend or a scoreboard. It's more about self-reflection and understanding your own needs and where you're at emotionally. Being brutally honest with yourself is crucial here; glossing over the bits you don't like or inflating the good stuff won't give you the clear view you're looking for.

It's also worth remembering that no relationship is perfect—every couple has their own quirks and challenges. So, while making your list, try to see the big picture. Sometimes, the reasons we fall for someone aren't the things that would make it onto a typical pros and cons list. And sometimes, what seems like a deal-breaker on paper can be something you're willing to work through because of all the awesome stuff that wouldn't fit on the list.

If your list helps you pinpoint some things you'd like to change or improve, it might be the nudge you need to start a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. Instead of coming at it with a "Here's what's wrong" vibe, it can be more about "Here's what I've been thinking about, and I'd love to work on it together."

Just keep in mind, a list is just a starting point—a way to get to know your own heart a little better. It's not the end-all-be-all of your relationship's worth. Life and love are way too messy and beautiful to be boiled down to a simple pros and cons list. But if making one helps you get a bit more clarity, then it's definitely a worthwhile exercise.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

If you’re not sure whether or not you’re happy, the answer is…you’re not.

[Yoursweetgirl]

I would absolutely advise doing so. Sometimes you get so used to a person who is in your everyday life that you start noticing their imperfections and overlook their good qualities.
Personally, those lists helped me several times to come back to earth and appreciate my then boyfriend and now husband more.

[Flatmanlewis]

Relationships should come from a place of authenticity and feeling. Not a place of balances and checklists. Sure do it, but I think if you have to the answer is apparent already.

[BCRanger10]

Yes! This applies more to singles, but people absolutely should have detailed lists of what they want and need in a partner.

[Delle123]

If you’re even thinking of making a pros and cons list you definitely should not be with him

[ProbablyClueless]

Writing a list out could actually be a really good idea. It would help you clarify your thinking. That could be tremendously useful.

[JacobJordan]

It is stupid and so is your friend. Who undoubtedly also wants you to be single.

[JacobJordan]

A pros and cons list is the fastest way to fulfill the adage "if you are looking to be mad you will always find something to be mad about" only shitty partners recommend a pros/cons list for a romantic relationship

[genericname85]

no. i think that's actually a very good idea. that's how you can know for sure that this relationship is either still worth it or not.

[genericname85]

i think in that list, you should give each point a score of how important it is to you.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I do so for imaginary girlfriends of pros and cons of things I'd like or want from a girlfriend in my mind lol 😹😆

[laly520]

u can give it a try to see which more pros or cons

[Wiredone]

It's ok to do a comparison but most of the time " you just know " if the person is right for you or not.

[DextroShade]

Have you ever considered that you are just incapable of being happy?

[Knightwatch27]

If you have to make a list like that then obviously it's not a happy relationship.

[jahaims]

If you can't figure those things out you shouldn't even be in a relationship

[TommyMountainFigure]

I think your friend gave you good advice!

[Anonymous]

YES please do. i think it can help you.

[pickles77]

Why wouldn’t you be happy?

[jjj101010]

Would u be happy if he did it for u

[spartan55]

Why is it stupid?