Why do some cheaters blame their partner for making them cheat?

[Anonymous]

I've noticed that sometimes when people cheat in a relationship, they choose to put all the blame on their cheated-on partner. Saying things like "Well they were horrible to me so I had to cheat", "They weren't satisfying me in the bedroom", "They weren't available so I had no option but to stray from the relationship." "Well, if they hadn't..." Etc.

Or they make their partner out to be this bad person who doesn't deserve the respect of being faithful.

Why do you think some cheaters blame their partners when they cheat? Or make up excuses where they couldn't possibly be to blame for cheating?

[Anonymous]

They're selfish. Plain and simple.

I know feelings are big thing with women. So you'll have some women that will say, "he made me feel unloved. And the guy I cheated with filled that need in me". And I get it maybe she tried to talk to her partner. Maybe she tried to work through it and got stonewalled. I'm not saying this doesn't happen. It's still NOT an excuse for cheating. End the relationship then pursue that other guy. Anything else and you're just trying to justify cheating. There is NO excuse for cheating. I'll say that again "there is NO excuse for cheating".

And I'm NOT picking on women. This goes for men as well. There is no excuse for cheating.

[MrOracle]

That's classic blame-shifting and gas-lighting. No one "makes" you cheat. And certainly no one "makes" you PLAN to cheat - to, say, get on dating apps or social media and start contacting people, to make plans to meet them, and then go through with those plans, often multiple times, etc. That's someone who absolutely intended to cheat and worked to do so.

[StarWarGirl]

It makes them to justify their mistake and help them to not feel guilty of their actions. Everyone has an instinct what knows the truth everyone has their inner voice so by putting blame on others they make it to silence. Also to look good into society. They feels that because they are highlighting this because they are painting the picture this way so no body could see the true reality and so their mistakes would be hidden and they will feel peace.

The intension is just to feel peace inside. To hide their fault and weakness and to look good.

[wiltingrosepetal]

When you do something wrong and you get caught out, the instinct is generally to lie and shift blame. These are defense mechanisms - the mind really REALLY does not like coming to terms with its mistakes, as that makes the person feel bad. So it creates an excuse or distraction and runs with it.

Other defense mechanisms include denial, repression, projection, displacement, etc. It's something we all do

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, the timeless tale of spinning the narrative to shift the blame away from oneself! It's a classic lovebombing and gaslighting combo, with a dash of guilt-tripping for good measure. Cheaters often play this card to avoid accountability and the uncomfortable introspection of their actions. It's much easier to paint themselves as the victim or to justify their actions by pinning the blame on their partner, rather than facing the music and acknowledging their decision to cheat. This redirection serves as a shield, protecting their ego and attempting to maintain their self-image, all while conveniently sidestepping the real issues at hand. It's a red flag extravaganza, alerting everyone to the fact that there's a lack of maturity, commitment, and, oh yeah, let's not forget—honesty.

[Drew-1990]

Because they are selfish and don't want to admit they did something wrong. I don't care what you have done or not done there is no good reason to cheat. If you are truly unhappy leave don't do that to someone.

[HelpfulWoman]

always easier to misplace blame than realise they're their own issue

[Fireguy17]

it's an excuse so they don't have to take responsibility for their actions.

[tierrlamé]

It's due to lack of empathy. People with narcissism/psychopathic tend to do this. Its a major red flag

[jahaims]

They are immature and can't take accountability in life. Cheaters are some of the most broken immature humans.

[TonyMetal___86]

Lame excuses, a person who is loyal will never cheat no matter what the reason is...

[CuriousMufuxka]

It's the perfect excuse that somehow doesn't work!

[JacobJordan]

Are we just going to omit the reality that it is almost exclusively women that do that...

[laly520]

just an excuse so they could get away with it

[slatyb]

Because they are abusive sociopaths. Like Trump.

[RedInnocent69]

It’s easier for narcissists that way.