My boyfriend makes fun of my weight and I'm trying to lose weight?

Question

I have lost 10 pounds so far but my boyfriend makes fun of me and I feel like he thinks its motivating but it really hurts my feelings. I tried a bathing suit I bought for myself in front of him and he pulls at my tummy and says don't you think you should lose this first. I know I don't have a perfect body but I'm working on it and I'm trying. when we were deciding where to go out I told him I wanted to stay in and cook but he kept saying he wanted to go to chilis so we did and when I ordered the margarita chicken he was like do you really need that? I'm 5'1 and weigh 128 and he says I should aim for 110. help?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Your boyfriend is an ass.

It's one thing to helpfully, supportively encourage your partner through a struggle, or even to be their "will power" when they are weak, but he's being a complete jerk about it.

Relationships should be looked at as a TEAM, and the priority is what's best for the TEAM, and not what's best for the individuals. In this case, by not being sensitive to your feelings, he is harming the team.

If I was dating you, and you expressed a desire to lose weight, I would encourage you, but always in a positive way. And if you didn't lose the weight, I wouldn't complain or nag and certainly not make fun of you. IMO, that's grounds for an immediate break-up. You don't hurt the person you claim to love, and especially not over some shallow BS like a few extra pounds.

katylaura · Accepted Answer

he's being such a jerk about this, particularly as he must be aware that weight is a sensitive issue. revenge? ban all sexual contact until you reach the weight he told you you should aim for - tell him that if he doesn't think you'd look good in a swimsuit, you can't look good enough for sex. he'll soon backtrack on what he said.

Stacyzee · Accepted Answer

Losing 10lbs for your height is very accurate. He doesn't have to add wounds to the injury. Be open and honest with him and tell him that this hurts your feelings. If you keep your emotions in, he will continue to do this because he doesn't know how you feel. If he has any respect for you he will stop this immediately. All he is doing is making you feel more insecure about yourself.

Every girl wants their boyfriend to find them attractive. Its a heart breaker when you learn the one you care for is unsatisfied with you. If you express your views to him and he continues this, then he isn't worth it and you are deserving of someone else.

"Our flaws are what makes us perfect."

At least you are well aware of yours and are trying to make improvements.

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

Wow, your boyfriend is being a real jerk. You have lost 10lbs! Congratulations on that! It's not easy to lose weight and I think your boyfriend is being stupid by making those comments.

He should be supportive instead of bringing you down. What is his problem :S

I would definitely have a talk with him and make it clear that those comments are not motivating you to lose weight. Besides, you should be losing weight because you want to, not because he wants you to.

I'm sure you look amazing in that bathing suit already! He is just too blind to see what amazing girl he has in front of him! If I was you, I would flaunt my stuff on the beach just so other guys can eye me up. Play up the attention too!

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

wow he sounds like a great guy. does he have any friends you can hook me up with? I need that in my life~

Seriously. this is completely unacceptable for him to be talking to you like that. he's hurting your feelings and that is not OK. trust me he is not stupid, when people say sh*t like that to you THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. don't think for a minute that he's just motivating u. no honey he's just an ass. you can do better

naturaldisaster · Accepted Answer

Honey that's not a boyfriend, that's an a**hole that needs to be booted to another country. End the relationship with him, he doesn't seem to be taking you seriously about you losing weight, he will just verbally abuse you like that if you let him, I had a boyfriend like that and felt neglected and then soon we ended things.

martyfellow · Answer

Yes, his attempt to motivatte you isn't the best technique. I bet he's not ADonis either, so tell him to shut up about yourI weight, you're doing what you can for it.

Going out is the worst idea when you're trying to gain weight, also. I'd sign up with Weight Watchers and folllow their advice.

Anonymous · Answer

He's being a huge ass. There are betters ways to support your weight loss goals. He's just degrading you. That's not what boyfriends do. Once you've allowed him to cross the line he won't stop unless you let him know exactly how you feel about it. Stop being so timid.

6Paul11 · Answer

That's pretty thoughtless of him to be saying that kind of stuff. He obviously liked you before you dropped those ten pounds. Why the hassle now? Tell him that he needs to stop being a jerk.

Anonymous · Answer

Dump his ass. Your boyfriend should support you, in this endeavor.  And unless he has a perfectly chiseled body, I'm sure he could stand to lose some weight as well.

foolycooly1001 · Answer

Tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable. If he doesn't stop, then dump him.

almost23 · Answer

According to your BMI, you're normal...you probably just don't look toned to him. Lots of men are into the "toned" look

Anonymous · Answer

if I were you I'd step on his toes every time he mentioned it.

This_is_a_complement · Answer

Why are you with him?

sephora · Answer

what an a**hole.

My boyfriend makes fun of my weight and I'm trying to lose weight?

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