It's the first question we ask - how did it happen/what is the reason - yet so often it is not told.
And this happens not just in the news but with individuals who tell of a loved one's death (such as announcing it on Facebook.)
Is the cause of death not mentioned to protect the person who died of something that some others deem to be embarrassing? Is this the only reason?
If someone committed suicide, why can that not be mentioned? If the person is found hung alone in a room (such as Anthony Bourdain or Robin Williams), why is this not immediately reported and mentioned publicly at the announcement of their death?
Some might say, "Well an investigation needs to happen, an autopsy to confirm..." and yes, that is prudent, but in the meantime, why don't they announce what it appears to be (such as a self-inflicted hanging) when they announce the person's death? To me and many others, they should either wait to announce until the facts are confirmed, or they could provide what information they have at the time, otherwise don't announce it publicly yet. What are your thoughts?
Yes, I think it is odd not to specify the cause of death.
No, it makes sense to me that the cause of death is not mentioned.
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Do you think it's odd when a death is announced, but the cause is not mentioned?
I think that’s usually it, to “save face” for the deceased. I think a good amount of people in some circumstances view suicide as weak and/or selfish, so there’s some stigma with that, and maybe even some negative thoughts toward the surviving family, like they didn’t do enough to help, or whatever people’s minds come up with. I see it a lot around my way, we have some pretty bad problems with opioids, heroin, shit laced with fentanyl, etc, and people are dying young and suddenly. You’ll always have those people who are like “if you use drugs, you’re less of a human than others who don’t”, or again, “where was their family when they needed them?” I don’t think these are true reasons, but the reasons a lot of idiots give for untimely death. I think it’s also maybe trying to not pile on additional sorrow to an already sorrowful situation. Someone gets in an accident or succumbs to an illness, it’s just viewed as a tragedy. Someone ODs or kills themselves, then it’s more like “whoa…. what kind of weird shit was going on behind the scenes?” So I think it just intends to save face for the dead, I guess.
Well said. Thank you, you explained that well. Yes you're right about all that. But I just want to make it clear that the omission of cause of death does not just happen with things like this - suicide, drugs, etc. Even with things that seem to be void of judgment, the cause is often omitted. But what this topic has shown to me is that even 'car accident', 'cancer', 'sudden death', can apparently be distorted to be judged. Car accidents have two drivers involved. Cancer can involve a refusal of treatment. A guy falls into a deep pit in sudden death. Still, it doesn't change any of my feelings on it. And I didn't expect it to be such a divisive issue. But at least I understand it more now. I am always concerned about saying 'the wrong thing' or something that might upset someone regarding a death. But I am not offended. And if someone was callous deliberately, well then it speaks more to the other person. It becomes information about them. But no one is a saint in all the years of their life. And people don't do everything 'right.' This idea of no blame, no mistakes, no judgment, it's a sort of delusion. People are fallible, and that's ok. I think, ultimately, it does a disservice to the living, to hide the most basic of information. We cannot control others' opinions. But facts should be separate from opinions. When someone dies in a situation that some others may deem preventable (which it may or may not be), it is also a reminder, and maybe a teaching moment, of what we need to watch out for, and improve, in society. Ultimately this is about protecting of the dead, and the family's reputation, but I and many others don't relate to this, prioritize this. To us, our failings can also be someone else's knowledge.
Yeah, definitely weird when others without supposedly “shameful” manners of dying have their causes of death withheld. I mean, obviously your first response is going to be “oh my god, what happened to them?” Then you don’t have to be awkwardly asking questions, etc.
Because people talk - and in a very bad way - especially when it comes to suicide - I've had someone very close to me who ended up killing themselves - That was about 7 years ago - People kept talking and asking what happened instead of trying to actually comfort anyone close to the person and that alone was crap from them - things that were said ranged from ohhh the person was always wack, to what a bitch they left their family, to the person actually died of drug overdose, to the person ended their own life because of how much debt they had.. Then put that pity smile in front of the people that actually care about the person - I've actually seen it happen from when I was 9 but never mentioned it because I wasn't sure of my judgement - 15 was when I was 100% sure that's how people are
Usually those that are close to the deceased will know what the cause was and everyone else can just give their condolences. Suicide is usually kept quiet because (I'm just giving the given reason here, it's not my own) some people will copy. They see the mourning of the deceased and want the same attention and might actually be inspired to kill themselves.
It's sad to not know a loved one's cause of death. I experienced that with my best friend from childhood. I was very close to her and her family. Long story short, her parents passed and she and I lost contact for a few years. I read her obituary in the paper that simply said she died of, "natural causes." She was 40. That could mean everything from cancer or heart failure to a drug overdose. I'll probably never know what happened.
You're right, I forgot about that. I think I have heard that once on the news, the 'copycat' concept. Although, again, I don't think this is reason enough to avoid giving the basic information. I'm sorry about your friend. 🕊
Sometimes a cause of death is not listed to protect those who are grieving. Suicides, drug overdoses, etc are often not listed because people don't want the grieving people to have to listen to rude comments from the community on top of their emotional pain. Or sometimes a sickness is not listed because the sick person chose to not seek treatment and people don't want the community to blame the family for "letting them die". That happens a lot with people with cancer in my area
Ahhhh I think you've hit on it here with the cancer example. These are things I would never do or say or think, so it's bizarre to me to be so judgmental, but I think you're probably right. I do strongly disagree with the philosophy of it though. It should be treated as just information, fact.
I see where you're coming from, but a newspaper is not a scientific journal, and sometimes facts are glossed over to protect people. I'm sure that a cause of death is listed somewhere, just not in newspapers.
The examples I've experienced are: When a public figure dies and they announce it on the news. When a Facebook friend's family member dies and they post it on their wall. When a friend texts you and says someone they know has died. No one else sees this message. And the answers turned out to be: Suicide. We don't know yet, but since he was not very old, wonder if it's covid. Chronic heart condition with multiple surgeries over years. I think if the news announces something (because they are literally in the business of giving breaking, topical, information) then it's their responsibility to report what they do know at that time. And if they don't know yet, just say, "Cause of death to be determined with autopsy." That situation is not about sensitivity to the family. The family is always notified privately before this information is made public. Although realistically, not all family members can be found, I assume.
Why does it matter? The mportant thing is that they are dead, gone, no longer with us. HOW that happened doesn't affect the bottom line: they're gone and they ain't coming back.
I had a church friend who was found dead on Christmas Eve. She was in her mid-70's but healthy and active and did not have any serious, life threatening illnesses. It doesn't matter whether she had a myocardial infarct, a drug overdose, a stroke, or blew her brains out. She's gone!
I disagree, people want to know. Death is not a small thing and now just how, but when, matters. If it didn't matter, then no one would immediately ask, "Oh no. What happened?"
I don't think its odd at all when a death is announced in general, whether the cause wasn't specified or not, and in most cases an autopsy hasn't been performed when the death was announced so it can take a few days considering the circumstances like when Trevor Moore died (my favorite comedian), people were speculating and creating theories of how he died for weeks after and the autopsy came back inconclusive and that they needed to investigate into his death more. He fell off of his balcony at his home and died of blunt force head trauma. At the time of his death, Moore’s blood-alcohol level was significantly over the legal limit, His death was labeled as an accident by the coroner's office.
When it comes to those, we are connected to like celebrities I think a lot of people care about that person as if they were your friend, so their peak of curiosity comes out, wanting to figure out how they died or annoyed by it not being mentioned.
I had a friend in 2014 that passed away and for years I had no idea what had happened because their family didn't tell anyone what the cause was for privacy reasons, i later found out that he took his own life, He was bipolar (which I had no idea about). But for years it did bother me, it bothered me not knowing what happened to one of my best friends from my younger childhood.
The cause of death may not be known yet. Sometimes the cause of death may not be determined until after the funeral is had. People should know that a person is no longer living at least. The cause can be announced later. Some things take weeks or months to determine. When my paternal grandpa passed last year, we assumed he died because of COVID. But it turns out after the report came back weeks later, he had a lung issue. COVID only made his immune system weaker, but it didn't take him out. So what was I supposed to do? Wait 6 weeks to find out that my grandpa died? "Huh? I wonder why he's not answering his phone!" That's silly! Lol
Right, there are definitely situations like this where it does take time to know. I was referring to the known causes more. But thanks for your comment. 🤗
It’s up to the surviving family if they want to mention cause of death in general terms (example: “died at (location) after a brief illness…”) in the obituary. If it’s due to violence or accident, reference to manner (but not exact cause) is often mentioned in local newspapers. Specifics don’t really matter in most death cases.
HIPPA (medical privacy) is also a consideration. A lot of people are unaware that since funeral homes initiate death certificate processing, we may collect and retain medical information from death certifiers as to cause of death, but we’re required to protect it for 50 years. Same for cemeteries and crematories.
Yes— I usually assume that it was suicide or drug related. It does seem odd when they don’t announce the cause, especially when someone is very young. I get that some people might want privacy regarding their loved ones— but people don’t belong to just one person— they share their lives with friends and family and strangers passing by. They’re part of our story. I think it’s a natural curiosity to need to know how they passed. The unknown can drive crazy those who have been left behind.
Of course knowing is more intellectually satisfying since it gives you emotional closure over the event but a family has a right to protect their reputation and the reputation and feelings of others by not disclosing the cause of death. For example, a parent might now want other people to know their child died in a horrific car accident or Homicide or horrendous health situation, because they want to protect the feelings of those who love him. When my 2nd uncle died before his mother did, we all lied to her about his death cause I’ve heard of parents dying from a broken heart when they find out their children died.
In the case of one of my childhood friends, there can be very good reasons for keeping details private permanently, as hard as that is for the living loves ones. It’s not always suicide, just left field and really sensitive. I’m better for knowing, some people wouldn’t be.
Not really. I'm young, and I know other young people who have died, and it's never been from a terminal illness. One former room mate of mine was texting, drunk, and speeding, and slammed into a rig, one other friend of a friend overdosed on heroin, a girl from my college committed suicide, etc.
But then again, my grandma died at 98 by falling down the stairs. No one is going to put that in an obituary.
Its utterly ludicrous ! Cause of death is always required , and if someone died at their own hand , dont glorify it , just announce it. Cause of death is ALWAYS required , and its not a notion of privacy.
Its not your business. One of my half brothers got into a car accident on Christmas Eve and died ….. the amount of people that were asking me how he died actually upset me even more. Some people that I didn’t even know! That’s absolutely none of your business.
It's the most basic piece of information. It's why everyone asks. If it's no one else's business, then don't involve anyone else, just keep it to yourself.
People are also part of communities, and communities come together to support one another. There's nothing nosy or rude about it whatsoever.
Yes, because they're just giving you half of the news. Also they're trying to hide that they died of AIDS because it's not a "cool" thing to die of. Or they committed suicide.
Did you know any death can be classified as heart failure?
Well there's lots of things people die from (like the car accident listed by one pink here) which is not 'embarrassing' or anything, but still some don't think the information should be relayed.
I understand the possible reasons for privacy, but I think a general statement might be appropriate. For example, after long illness, or of natural causes, or under suspicious circumstances.
It's not odd at all. The cause of death may not be known, or the family may wish to keep it to themselves. What's important is that a person has died, less important is the reason why... remember that we all die at some point.
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maybe odd is not the word I would call it. There are people that die of drug ODs and other ways that might be embarrassing and he family would just not ant to disclose it.
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