She isn't over her ex, I'm in love with her and want to wait, I don't quite understand her though...

So, I met this girl about six months ago at work. We would always talk and flirt and we had wonderful, meaningful, deep conversations. We had great chemistry and we just simply got a long great. I asked her out to dinner after talking for a few weeks and we had a great time. We went out a couple of times more and she wound up bringing up the fact that we get a long wonderfully but she can't do anything right at the moment because she is working through issues with her past. I understood and told her I wanted to continue to be friends. A few more months went on and we continued to hang out. I got the feeling she was pushing me away so I spoke to her about it and she told me that she just wasn't ready for anything. She told me she was still in love with her ex but didn't plan to get back with him and didn't want to lose me because I was a special person and a wonderful friend. She said things like "I wish I would've met you before" and "this is just bad timing," and "I'm going... Show More

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should wait for her and stop pressuring her. While it is obvious she has feelings for you and you might have a future together, she will feel smothered if you keep asking. Getting over someone can be hard and its good that she's waiting before dating you, because otherwise her feelings would be mixed up and she couldn't fully commit.

    That being said, you can't wait forever. If you wait for a few more months and she still isn't coming around, then you should try to move on. You can't wait for someone who is never coming around. While I think it is doubtful she wil "never get over her ex" if she doesn't realize what she could have with you soon, you might need to try to look for someone who really values you.

    I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it's true.

    Now, as far as being a freind, just be there for her! Don't continue asking her if she's ready or make romantic advances, because they obviously make her uncomfortable at the place she's in right now. You can still hang out with her, and keep talking to her! Definitely keep talking to her, but keep it light. She obviously doesn't want to talk about her ex or relationship with you because she feels bad and can't commit right now. When you talk to her, don't talk about how you miss her or want to be with her, just TALK! She will get upset if you continue to talk about this. Just act like you would with any other friend.

    I know this is hard, and I've been in a similar situation. Sometimes feelings are hard to explain, but she obviously can see dating you in the future, she's just not in the right place right now.

    In the mean time, it's not wrong to look for other people. You never know who's out there. Just because you're waiting for her doesn't mean she has to be the only person in your life. Not saying you should move on yet, but you sound like a good guy, and she can't keep you waiting forever!

    Hope I helped!

    • Hey the same thing happened to me with this guy's story but only that now she's back with her ex and dont get me wrong i still feel for her and care for but ever since then its not the same now we won't even look or talk at echother but i know for fact that he's gonna hurt her again and i wanna be around to heal her and get the same relationship that we had