My boyfriend has to ask his parents for permission to stay the night with me and its frustrating. What should I do?

We have been together for 2 years and I love him like crazy but the fact that he asks his parents for permission to stay the night with me really gets on my nerves.

He even asks for permission just to stay over a friends house. he and his friends could be having a good time and if he forgets to talk to his parents before they go to bed, which is like 8:00 or 9:00pm then he will leave early. His friends have even asked him to stay the night so that they can get drunk and he won't have to worry about driving but he is so afraid of what his parents will think. One time he had to work on a project with his team member over night and his parents still fussed at him. It was the only time his team member could meet up.

One of his friends is planning a trip to go visit his family in the Bahamas for spring break and invited him and he asked his parents if he could go and that bothered me too. His mom and dad were like "I dont know it could be dangerous, a week is a long time to be out of the country". So he is going to miss out on a once in a life time opportunity to go to the Bahamas.

I recently moved about an hour away so I see my boyfriend on the weekend now. One weekend he stayed with me an extra day because Monday was a holiday then his parents were blowing up his phone. They actually started blowing up his phone Sunday evening.

Im trying to plan a trip to the beach with him. I told him the trip will involve us staying in a hotel for a couple of nights and the first thing he said was "Sounds cool, I have to get confirmation first"

I am 25, My boyfriend is 23 and in grad school. He stays with his parents because it is extremely convinent at the moment and his plan is to move out by the end of the year. I can totaly understand that he should respect the rules of his parents house but I dont see what that has to do with them controlling where he goes for vacation, or if he is with his gf or friends.

Updates:
Last year we had a big snow storm so I asked him to get snowed in with me (come over to my place before the snow hits) and he was afraid of what his parents would say. I was so frustrated that I went straight to his mom and asked her myself and all she said was "yall be safe". then after the second day, his dad drove straight to my house in the snow and picked him up instead of letting the snow clear out first.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What's his ethnicity? If he is going to move out at the end of the year, then you should just be patient. You cannot force him to choose between you and his family. He will resent you if you do.

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    • Well Im not trying to force him. Its just he acts like he can't stand how his parents treat him. He says he wants his parents to stop worrying about him and to stop blowing up his phone everywhere he goes. How is a girlfriend suppose to feel when her boyfriend is feeling distressed? Also They do the same with his older sister and she has already moved out of their house. She doesn't date and she doesn't have any close friends either, just her parents. So the fact that he lives in his parent house is not the problem becasue once he moves out its going to keep happening unless he speaks up to his parents.

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    • This could be a cultural thing.

    • Also I dont belive ethnicity has anything to do with this becasue many people of our ethnic group do not have this issue. I think its more of the fact that his parents are just afraid of their kids growing up and not depending on them anymore.

What Guys Said 1

  • he's a grown ass man isn't he? he should just do it and not ask

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    • yeah thats what I think too. His parents treat him like a baby and he acts like a baby around his parents. Its like he is so afraid to show his parents that he has grown up.

    • worst that could happen if he just does it is his parents get mad. boo hoo. asking them is where the problem lies

What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds like his parents are very overprotective. I dated a guy like that once. Total mama's boy. It frustrated me to no end so I can totally feel your pain right now!

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    • He will tell me how he doesn't like his parents telling him what he can and can't do, and he feels bad about it too when his parents tell him he can't do something but yet he will refuse to tell his parents that he wants to be treated like an adult. Its like he is so afraid and I dont understand what he is afraid of. His parents are not going to disown him and stop loving him if he just tells them how he feels.

  • His parents are overbearing as hell. I thought you were gonna be under 18 when I opened this question. He's too old for them to act like that. He seems sheltered which isn't always a good thing because when he finally does get out on his own, he's gonna have a hard time. I get that he lives with them and all, but at the end of the day, he's an adult.

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