Girls, I have a girlfriend but can't stop thinking about someone else?

Please don't resort to name calling (jerk, bad boyfriend, etc.) I'm looking for some insight here.

I'm dating a girl I've known for a long time and I feel like I'm a good boyfriend, I treat her right, etc. But there's another girl I can't stop thinking about. I'm totally crazy about her, I think about her all the time, especially on weekends, re-read our text messages, I get turned on just by thinking about her. But I know it isn't really fair for my girlfriend and I'd hate to leave her because of this, that's wrong.

Any advice? thanks.

Updates:
Tons of great advice, thanks ladies.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Did you ver feel the same way about your girlfriend? are you a man caught ip in the chase? And why did you start texting this other girl in the first place unless you were"t completely happy

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    • Maybe I am just caught up in the chase.. I hate to admit it because anyone can go after me for being immature. Which may be the case unfortunately. I've always spent a lot of time around women, always had tons of lady friends so we were just friendly at first. I wasn't wanting to be romantic behind my G F's back. We started talking and it's quickly escalated since she is very attracted to me too.

    • At least you acknowledge that what you're doing is wrong. Just try to imagine how you'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot and your current girlfriend did the same to you. You may not love her as much anymore but surely that would hurt? And none want to hurt those they love. See i have a lot of guy friends but they are just that friends. You can have friends of the opposite gender and you can text them but not the way your texting this girl you know? I mean i at one point had a "crush" on a guy mate, but as soon as i was in a relationship with the guy i'm with now those feelings kind of fizzled. Think about why you got with your girlfriend, what you like about her and why this other girl is somehow "better". It could be wanting the chase or it could be that your girlfriends just not the right fit. In my opinion its better to sort things out sooner than lead her on under false pretences.

    • This is really good stuff, I truly appreciate it

What Girls Said 11

  • It happens we are human. You can't control who you are attracted to but you can control what you do about it. Avoidance is really the best remedy for a physical attraction. Sounds like you are pretty conflicted and it is causing you a good deal of discomfort so best to pick a path and stick to it for your own wellbeing.

    I've been there before so I know it is hard to deal with that kind of attraction. Impossible to be in the same room kind of attraction. But I knew logically there was no potential for a relationship so I had to take myself out of the situation to avoid the temptation. Best

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  • Is your relationship lacking something? Why else would you be absorbed with someone other than your girlfriend?

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  • You seem to not want judgement, so I won't judge, but I will tell you that you shouldn't have been texting another girl in the first place. Yeah at first it seems harmless, but look at the situation you're in right now. If I found out my boyfriend had feelings for another girl and was texting her, I'd break up with him for cheating on me.

    Only two things you can do:
    1. Stop all communication with the girl, change your number if you have to. That's literally the only way to save your relationship at this point.
    2. Break up with your current and pursue the girl you're crazy about.

    No offense, but you're kind of not treating her right. In my opinion, you'r kind of disrespecting her, and allowing another girl to disrespect her and your relationship like this.

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  • If you're falling for someone else, maybe your girlfriend isn't the one for you.

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  • It's very deceitful. If you aren't truly happy in your relationship then you should end it , as it's unfair to your girlfriend. Either that , or end all contact with the girl in question. In time , you will become so burdened with guilt that it will start affecting your relationship with your girlfriend. Eventually she will suspect something is wrong. Is this other girl really worth destroying what you already have?

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  • You say it is wrong to leave her for this? I think it is more wrong to stay with your girlfriend when you are in love with someone else.

    Break-up with your girlfriend, you are practically cheating on her by not telling her this. It is only fair to let her know what is going on, so she can start looking around for a guy who doesn't think about another girl, but about her.

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    • This is probably right, I just feel awful because she is such a great girl.

    • then she deserves the truth.

  • it can b a crush.. think like this.. that if you had to chose.. who which one would u chose.. and that will b the right one.. and if it that girl.. then u have to tell your girlfriend that its over.. u'll b doing her a favor cuz then she can move on..

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  • Sounds to me loke your relationship is fine. Just fine. If your girlfriend isn't making your feel this way, consider just being friends with her. Why does this ither girl make you feel this way?

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  • If you love two people at once go for the second because of you fell in love with her you never really loved the first

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  • compare them and ask yourself who has more elf value and what do you know about them both

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  • As much as she is a great girl, you HAVE to tell her that you just dont have feelings for her anymore. I would be completely broken if my boyfriend lead me on like that.

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What Guys Said 3

  • then try forget about her anyway... unless if u want to break-up wid yer girlfriend :)

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  • Best thing for you to do is leave. If you can't put your all into someone, then its done.

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  • decide who you prefer else you will end up with neither one

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